Wanking Since Woodstock; But I Stopped In 2012

SlaveToRighteousness

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lte said:
It's been a trying few weeks in my life; just a lot on my plate. I had moments of feeling weak but I know that returning to my addiction will help nothing. I am ever more convinced that the counter is a great tool. The thought of having to reset certainly works towards restraining my thoughts in moments of weakness.

I was tempted to give in over my recent vacation. I'm glad I didn't. My counter wasn't the only thing that stopped me, but it definitely helped. 500+ days are a lot to throw away for a few fleeting moments of lust that will only make you feel worse afterward...
 

LTE

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STR said:
lte said:
It's been a trying few weeks in my life; just a lot on my plate. I had moments of feeling weak but I know that returning to my addiction will help nothing. I am ever more convinced that the counter is a great tool. The thought of having to reset certainly works towards restraining my thoughts in moments of weakness.

I was tempted to give in over my recent vacation. I'm glad I didn't. My counter wasn't the only thing that stopped me, but it definitely helped. 500+ days are a lot to throw away for a few fleeting moments of lust that will only make you feel worse afterward...
I've had that thought many times over the last year and a half.
 

DeltaFosAware

Active Member
That is in fact so true! I would say that for way too many years Porn was my solace, my security blanket, my rock, my refuge, my special place, my ME time...I don't insist on judging myself because that was what I did, I simply DID it, no judgements attached. It was like scratching when I itched! It became almost a reflex action...

Until you'd sorted out other stuff, maybe causing the constant 'itch', you could not really sort out porn.

Funny how those images never quite leave. I had a totally random dream that involved a sort of melding of porn images from stuff I must have ingested over five years ago! The image was not powerful but it seemed tactile. Oddly enough I knew it was a dream so I neither held the image or rejected the image...It slowly dissolved into something else before the cat woke me up and my partner put her out! It was nice, as always, just being next to my partner in our bed! I like that bed, it's a special place and I LOVE her to bits!
 

LTE

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DeltaFosAware said:
That is in fact so true! I would say that for way too many years Porn was my solace, my security blanket, my rock, my refuge, my special place, my ME time...I don't insist on judging myself because that was what I did, I simply DID it, no judgements attached. It was like scratching when I itched! It became almost a reflex action...

Until you'd sorted out other stuff, maybe causing the constant 'itch', you could not really sort out porn.

Funny how those images never quite leave. I had a totally random dream that involved a sort of melding of porn images from stuff I must have ingested over five years ago! The image was not powerful but it seemed tactile. Oddly enough I knew it was a dream so I neither held the image or rejected the image...It slowly dissolved into something else before the cat woke me up and my partner put her out! It was nice, as always, just being next to my partner in our bed! I like that bed, it's a special place and I LOVE her to bits!
Porn flashbacks have become quite rare at this point. I can only remember one in the last year or so and if didn't have much of an effect. If I see something that even reminds me of porn I reflexively look away. OTOH, nudity, of the sort seen in an R-rated movie, has no erotic effect upon me. I watched an old cult Classic from the seventies that had a short scene which had a nude woman, tastefully photographed. My only reaction was to note the beauty of her form. I wasn't even thinking of her genitalia. Which leads me to a very nice aspect of my recovery.

I have learned to appreciate the beauty of women without lustful thoughts or objectification. Yesterday morning I was at the store and the cashier was a young woman of truly unique beauty, with grey eyes, a lovely face and a slender build. The best part was the fact that she possessed a friendly demeanor and came across as nice, and sincere. I didn't stare, I didn't feel lust and I didn't objectify. What I did; was to wish that I was about 25 years younger, because I would have tried to get to know her better. :) The point here is that I kept my mind out of the gutter and on a higher plain. As pretty as I found her to be I was most impressed by her personality and the intelligence and humanity that I found expressed in her eyes.
 

Brooklyn Jerry

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I for sure began wanking before Woodstock,probably six years before. I am a short timer, almost 2 weeks.i did have sex twice since I stopped MO and viewing P. As far as looking at women, I have always been a head turner, you know turning my head while driving towards a girl on the street as I drove by. I sure got quite a few punches to my right shoulder from my late wife  we were driving.
  Two years ago I was with my new lady friend at a restaurant, a shapely blonde young waitress was serving the table next to use and my eyes drifted towards her butt. My lady friend gave me a nudge and whispered in my ear"put your eyes back in your head". I tried to tell her I wasn't looking, but she knew the truth. I honestly can say when I look at women I see that are attractive, I don't have sexual thoughts, it's just something I have always done, even when I was a child.My mother used to tell me when I was 5  I used to like an actress called Dagmar, who was a busy blonde on TV in the fifties.
  I am determined to beat this porn masturbation addiction since I felt it was causing some libido issues. As I wrote in in some other posts,I remember before my 16th birthday I thought to myself I should quite JO. I never had much porn then just the occasional magazine . But at that age it didn't take much to get a hardon.
I will I consider my self lucky in that when I am with my lady friend she can still get me hard without even going near my junk.
    I had quit smoking cold turkey over 32 years ago,and never liked being addicted to anything,but this porn thing sort of took over. I do blame the free easy availability made it worse. I had a hard time getting hard using imagination or pictures, but that probably due to using videos on the net. I am sure if I continued my ability to have sex with a real person would have become an issue.
 

LTE

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Brooklyn Jerry said:
I for sure began wanking before Woodstock,probably six years before. I am a short timer, almost 2 weeks.i did have sex twice since I stopped MO and viewing P. As far as looking at women, I have always been a head turner, you know turning my head while driving towards a girl on the street as I drove by. I sure got quite a few punches to my right shoulder from my late wife  we were driving.
  Two years ago I was with my new lady friend at a restaurant, a shapely blonde young waitress was serving the table next to use and my eyes drifted towards her butt. My lady friend gave me a nudge and whispered in my ear"put your eyes back in your head". I tried to tell her I wasn't looking, but she knew the truth. I honestly can say when I look at women I see that are attractive, I don't have sexual thoughts, it's just something I have always done, even when I was a child.My mother used to tell me when I was 5  I used to like an actress called Dagmar, who was a busy blonde on TV in the fifties.
  I am determined to beat this porn masturbation addiction since I felt it was causing some libido issues. As I wrote in in some other posts,I remember before my 16th birthday I thought to myself I should quite JO. I never had much porn then just the occasional magazine . But at that age it didn't take much to get a hardon.
I will I consider my self lucky in that when I am with my lady friend she can still get me hard without even going near my junk.
    I had quit smoking cold turkey over 32 years ago,and never liked being addicted to anything,but this porn thing sort of took over. I do blame the free easy availability made it worse. I had a hard time getting hard using imagination or pictures, but that probably due to using videos on the net. I am sure if I continued my ability to have sex with a real person would have become an issue.
Almost certainly.
 
B

BreakingTheFapCycle

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593 days is awesome lte.

I love the idea of not objectifying women. I have always been interested in a woman's face and her eyes in particular however I can't recall a time when my eyes didn't go straight down to between her legs and wonder what her pussy looked and tasted like. I can't wait for the day when I get to know a woman for who she is rather than trying to unbutton her jeans and get at the goods. That will be a great day. Way to go on your year and a half. Excellent.
 

LTE

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BreakingTheFapCycle said:
593 days is awesome lte.

I love the idea of not objectifying women. I have always been interested in a woman's face and her eyes in particular however I can't recall a time when my eyes didn't go straight down to between her legs and wonder what her pussy looked and tasted like. I can't wait for the day when I get to know a woman for who she is rather than trying to unbutton her jeans and get at the goods. That will be a great day. Way to go on your year and a half. Excellent.

Thanks BTFC. All I can say is that my entire approach to women and to sex has changed for the better. It was a gradual process that gained momentum as time went on.
 

LTE

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savingmysoul said:
Soon to hit 600 Days!

A true milestone, a true inspiration.
This can be beaten, this can be overcome -

Grats, and thank you!
Thanks SMS. It is possible and, in some ways easy. It's a mental battle, for the most part.
 

PMOVictory

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Ite

600 days today, and counting.

Worth celebrating.

Thanx for all the positive comments you have already made in my posts.

Be Blessed!
 

LTE

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PMOVictory said:
Ite

600 days today, and counting.

Worth celebrating.

Thanx for all the positive comments you have already made in my posts.

Be Blessed!
! day, 600 times in a row.
 

Gracie

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Congrats on 600 days!  Your commitment to yourself and your values is amazing!  Glad to be a witness to this.
 
S

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"600 is the advertised number of miles that NASCAR runs in the Coca-Cola 600, the longest race on any of the NASCAR circuits." - wiki on the number 600

I know nada about NASCAR, but it is fact about 600.

I think this proves you make the number 600 have more meaning.

Congrats, my friend.
SORP
 

LTE

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Gracie said:
Congrats on 600 days!  Your commitment to yourself and your values is amazing!  Glad to be a witness to this.

Thanks Gracie.
 

LTE

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SO Reboot Partner said:
"600 is the advertised number of miles that NASCAR runs in the Coca-Cola 600, the longest race on any of the NASCAR circuits." - wiki on the number 600

I know nada about NASCAR, but it is fact about 600.

I think this proves you make the number 600 have more meaning.

Congrats, my friend.
SORP
I always thought I would have been a good race driver. :)
 

LTE

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It's just one more big round number. The good thing is that my entire view of sex has changed. Perhaps I was objectifying sex, not just women. Things that would have triggered me two years ago have lost that power over me and I truly do not want to see porn.
 

DeltaFosAware

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I like the idea that you were maybe not just objectifying Women but also sex! That is so well thought out and it rings a massive bell with experience. I'm trying to think of a way to put this best. The closet I can get is that sex was a process but it was also first hand experiential. Now that for me would naturally have included masturbation, as well as sex with a real, living, breathing, partner. A person who got up in the morning, needed to eat, sleep, wash, cry, work, simply BE HUMAN.

Now along comes Porn and it takes that process, that visceral and human process, and turns it into a photographic image, the a moving image and then a mass of ever changing images and sounds on a computer. In fact it even tries to 'sexualise' the process by inventing terms like cyber-sex, sext-ing and a whole new vocabulary attached to this objective experience of sex.

Slowly, even if you have access to the 'real thing' this stuff just draws you like a massive magnet. You enter this black hole of your own creation and actually you don't WANT to get out! First it becomes simply to NICE to get out, then too EXCITING to get out and then getting OUT seems like a really risky business! It quickly starts to hurt when you leave your black hole so you keep,going back and each time you stay longer and discover what you think is 'more' but it's actually a version of earlier stuff must remade, re packed and now even your own imagination starts to break down. Left with all the ready made meals, you ignore a gourmet feast!
 

PMOVictory

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WOW!

Slowly, even if you have access to the 'real thing' this stuff just draws you like a massive magnet. You enter this black hole of your own creation and actually you don't WANT to get out! First it becomes simply to NICE to get out, then too EXCITING to get out and then getting OUT seems like a really risky business! It quickly starts to hurt when you leave your black hole so you keep,going back and each time you stay longer and discover what you think is 'more' but it's actually a version of earlier stuff must remade, re packed and now even your own imagination starts to break down. Left with all the ready made meals, you ignore a gourmet feast!

this is said in a way that nails the nail on its head.
especially this part!
First it becomes simply to NICE to get out, then too EXCITING to get out and then getting OUT seems like a really risky business!

Stay strong and be Blessed!
 
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