What are my goals ? What do I want out of it ?

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Listed below are some of my goals that I wish to acheive with the time and energy that I will have after quitting porn.
[list type=decimal]
[*]Better self-control over my impulses
[*]Better social skills with people
[*]Reaching my weight goals
[*]Improving my sleep cycle
[*]A realtionship
[*]Getting ahead in life and not feeling left behind
[*]The ability to delay gratification
[/list]

 

[Fappy]

Hi,
Youll find that as you rewire, your self confidence and motivation will improve. So naturally youll have more energy to reach those goals youve set for youself.

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Day I​

I couldn't work all day yesterday, I just laid there on the sack like a lazy sack of shit. When I wasn't lying on the bed, I was pacing the room absorbed in my fantasies and daydreaming. This condition, that I am trying to get a hold of apart from Porn is called maladaptive daydreaming, and there's a dearth of clinical literature surrounding this topic. I wanted to go and work out but I didn't do that either. All in all yesterday was a shitty and fuckall day if I am being completely honest.

I was stuck on a problem for days, I solved that yesterday in the evening. That's the only good thing that happened. After slacking off the entire day, alternating between Maladpative Daydreaming and sleeping on my bed, this was the only time when I did anything productive!

TL;DR: Yesterday was shitty and unproductive.​

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Hi,
Youll find that as you rewire, your self confidence and motivation will improve. So naturally youll have more energy to reach those goals youve set for youself.

Yeah man. I hope to get the most out of it.

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Day II​

Yesterday was better than day before yesterday, I hit the gym in the evening and even work was better. As far as urges go, I guess I somehow replaced that with daydreaming which in itself isn't a good thing. I daydremed for more than 90 minutes or so before going to sleep. I wante to devote some time after work reading and completing pending online courses but couldn't muster the energy to do so. I get exhausted after work which leaves me the option of either sleeping late or waking up early. Based on what I have see, the former is always easier for me than the latter. Tonight I will try to devote some time to reading and the last hour to the online course that I am working on. I guess I have put so many things in my schedule that I don't even have time to think of porn. I am super enthusiastic right now about my recovery but deep down I am also aware tht smoetimes what starts off as great goes completely wrong when we lose sight of the big goal. I have to be patient now, this is just day 2. I have to resist the temptation to look towards the towering and mighty everest that I have decided to mount, one day at a time , one day at a time. 



If you're from the future and reading this , I want to assure you that there was a time when your life was miserable and for the most part you, yes YOU were responsible for it because of your short-sighted actions. You were a hedonist who just wanted to numb the emotions and escape even the smallest amount of discomfort by taking refuge in porn. But then it was you again who decided to quit and get better. You did it. Yes YOU.

TL;DR: Yesterday was shitty and unproductive.​

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Day IV​

Time management is something that need to be looked after. It is not that I don't have things to do, it is just that since I never decide when to do a certain thing X, I get overhwlemed by all the possibilities and then end up doing nothing. A schedule in place would really help, one that could incorporate all the things that I want to do. I believe I did take the first step in that direction by scheduling my online classes so that I spend 3 days a week on them.

Had a good workout today and I hope I will continue with this, I am aiming for 3 days a week at least.


​

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Almost Relapsed

Yes I did try to open up some of the nsfw subreddits but then impulsively closed it. This happened after a long session of daydreaming, will get to work now. Can't risk this anymore.

 

[0n3_d4y_47_4_71m3]

Starting Again

I binged like crazy for the last two days, forgetting why I started all this. Went nuts. For now, I just want to concentrate on my work and get the most out of it. Did I fuck up? Hell yeah. Do I wanna stay in that zone and pity myself and hate myself? No. I will be hitting the gym today as well, which I hven't done in the past 2 days. Clear signs of demotivation are seen when I binge.

Towards a better me!

 

[Fappy]

Hi, thats a shame you fucked up. But did you remember what you trigger was?