Bunnys ascend to madness Journal

[Bunny]

21 days.

had bad case of insomina and restlessness the last 4 days.

Do feel better than i have the last few weeks. The blur started to lift. Decided to stay off the social media the last few days from all that halloween stuff and various pictures bomb.
Its quite hard to get away from when its so much in our face on a daily basis. Did some walks in the nearby forest and had a nice relaxing music walk. Leaves falling n such. Was nice to be in the moment. No people, no internet.

Reached my first goal this run so here is to reaching 30 days.

Hope you all are doing well in your fight.

 

[Rookie]

Keep strong, only a few more days to go!!! Keep your guard up, the addiction will come raging, as if it knows you're getting rid of it, and it doesn't want to go. Keep strong bro!!

 

[LetItGoAlready]

Bunny - 3 weeks! Good job on the self-care you've been doing, enjoying time in nature away from the distractions of modern life. Keep it up!

 

[Bunny]

Was going so great until a old friend send a video on facebook. Was of none dressed adults doing their thing.

could not shake that image it burned in my head. Out of nowhere i got an urge i could not kill aaaaand

Day 0...

Fml...

 

[Leonidas]

Was going so great until a old friend send a video on facebook. Was of none dressed adults doing their thing.

Some friend. 
If you feel the need to reassess boundaries, maybe let him know in a friendly-kinda-way that it would be best if he not send that sort of material in the future.

Try not to interpret your slip as a fatal mistake.  Recovery is a process, you learn as you go.  Mistakes are part of that process (and believe me, I've made plenty!)  New day, new challenges.  There is only one way; and that is forwards!

 

[Bunny]

here goes again.

Day 5.

Spiraled down thru bad habits and dumb choices again. Did some thinking and deleted. blocked and what ever way possible to remove myself from the massive stream of pictures and such elements.

Know its not the end and in any attempts there are fails. Did not give up on this and waited a few days before getting back here.

found a pr0n blocker im using now. Removed myself from every facebook group that have some kinda trigger. Searched the drives for any left over thing and purged everything. In any case i need to get my shit together and i found doing this helps in some way.

Gotta fall some times to learn i guess and i did this time.

 

[J01]

Sometimes it takes awhile to get going-hope you are staying engaged and committed to the battle.  Like you said, the key is not giving up.  Glad you did the social media purge-take care!

 

[LetItGoAlready]

found a pr0n blocker im using now. Removed myself from every facebook group that have some kinda trigger. Searched the drives for any left over thing and purged everything. In any case i need to get my shit together and i found doing this helps in some way.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things to get you back on track, Bunny. Keep going!

 

[Bunny]

Been awhile since i've been here. Had a bad relapse again. Funny how it follows. When im off the pr0n i find it easier to stay away from alcohol and drugs. When i relapse it stacks up fast and i find myself fucked from morning to evening on the daily again.

had to pick myself up. So i have quit beer now, nearly quit the drugs.  Jumped on clean food and meditation. Nearly a month sober and healthy living. The drugs are harder to quit but slowly getting off.

I feel so empty everytime i end up there.  Just sitting in a messy home with all responsibilities pushed past tomorrow. Donno why i want to live like that. Just fucked up and numb awaiting the next sip,hit or fap

Anyways. Im back on track and slowly working my way out of the hole.

Hope you doing good on your own journey .

Peace.

 

[J01]

Bunny, nice to see you have returned-good decision!  Hope you can stay on track and stay in touch here.  I noticed before that you were benefiting from some outdoor walks-hope you can keep something like that going.  I can relate to what you said about pushing responsibilities off until tomorrow.  I think the stuff (substance abuse, porn, procrastination, etc) is all interconnected.  Take care!