Recovery Journal

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 9

I'm feeling sleepy so now I'll make a quick progress update.

I woke up in the morning, no morning wood whatsoever, but the moment I so touch myself a little, my erection came pretty quickly. I wasn't testing/edging anything, just some accidental touch when I was scratching my lower part.

Didn't eat well the whole day, I'm afraid i might lose muscle mass if this goes on.

Made myself a steamed chicken before i sleep.

The temptation to PMO is always present, but I'm still holding on.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 10

Woohoo, back to 2 digits day we go ! I am 1/3 way into my goal. Just 4 days more till I hit 2 weeks.

There isn't much to update today. I am not sure if I am in a flatline now, supposedly i should after a week into reboot, I should have lost all sexual urges, but I'm still being tempted to PMO now and then.

I'd like to jot down that I feel alive rebooting, holding these urges in. It's frustrating of course, but somehow, i am relieved as well.

I am still skipping exercises now as my muscles are still recovering, i will do some stretching before i sleep though.

Now im gonna go make myself a salmon then head to bed.

I am still sticking by my rules:

NO EDGING
No fantasizing
No taking peek at any nsfw/mild sexual content
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 11

Normal day, no morning wood. Temptation to PMO is still here.

I slept in. I'm a glutton for sleep, I start the day too late and that's killing my productivity, this has got to stop.

TBH, I'm in late 20s and I'm still feeling lost. I am not proud of where I am in life now, there are kids much younger doing better financially than me. I am too far stuck in my comfort zone that I don't have the motivation and desire to pursue higher goal. I feel like I've learnt nothing from my current job, no new skill sets, nothing that can increase my value. My face still looks like a mess, my fitness goal still not achieved. I'm really just too lax with myself, too much freedom and comfort turned me lazy. I always procrastinate my own goal, I'm not disciplined enough. I realized this but I can't seem to change.

I went out for a run in the evening. I ran slower, but further today. Next time, I'll try to complete 2 laps.

I'm gonna make myself a steam chicken, stop procrastinate, complete my work and sleep early tonight.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 12

Normal day, mild morning wood. I had a scary dream, i dreamt that I was searching for P stuff and PMO, woke up feeling relieved it's just a dream. I am in a flatline now, sexual urges and temptation to PMO is not as strong as past few days. It feels like time is slower when i update the log daily. When can I put this all behind ?

I have runner foot problem and decided to just chill my legs for today. I did some stretching, still trying to do split, i'm pretty close to success now, one day i'll do it. Did push up and abs wheel. Ate steamed chicken and now I'm doing facial mask.

I am still sticking by my rules i promised myself:

No fantasizing
No edging
No taking peek
No PMO
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 13

Woke up with mild morning wood. went out to a friend's place to work after showering. Had a good coffee and lunch.

Spent time catching up with friends, it was a wonderful time spent. Had a takeaway dinner and we stayed until late chit-chatting.

Full day i had no temptation to PMO, which is very good.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 14

2 weeks mark ! Woke up normally. Went out and have lunch with a friend, good time catching up with each other. Bought anti fungus cream for my skin, hopefully it'll work out.

Watched big bang theory after i got home. Had a not so good dinner, and now i am planning my hike trail for tomorrow morning.

I am feeling peaceful at day 14, not much of a temptation/urges to PMO, it's pretty calming and I like it.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 15

Woke up early in the morning for a hike. Had to drive around 30-40mins+ to get to the starting point, only to change to another entrance as there was just too many people. I had downloaded apps and readied map and GPS yesterday, still me and my friend got lost. There were different trails and I weren't confident which one is the correct path, the map wasn't very clear. Bumped with other hikers and surprisingly not a single soul knew the way to destination, so we got lost together.

Luckily with the help of GPS and the map, I managed to find the correct direction and get to the destination in the end. The destination was a mirror lake, the water was so still and calm that you can see a clear reflection of everything. I am still not there yet, I feel slightly excited thinking about PMO, I really hope one day my heart and mind will be peaceful and calm and rid of the P addiction. I am still sticking by my rules: No peeking, no fantasizing, no edging, no PMO. No fantasizing and peeking is the most effective in curbing any rising urges.

WhatsApp Image 2021-09-27 at 03.27.24.jpeg

good thing about having outdoor activities really keep my mind off PMO. I am halfway to the goal I have set for myself, half more to go.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 16

Mild morning wood, small temptation to PMO, I'm guessing that's because I'm halfway to my goal and part of me is excited to see P content again, I will need to extend my goal further.

Anyway, gone through a zoom interview and phone interview. Somehow, i'm not that stress dealing with job interviews anymore.

Went out dinner with my best friend, was going to bring her to this fantastic restaurant but it didn't open, a huge bummer. Ended up having szechuan spicy food.

Now i'm gonna take a shower, eat some supper (glad i'm gaining some weight), then sleep.

A good thing worth to mention is that I feel much peaceful at night now, no huge urge to PMO.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 17

Normal day, nothing much to report.

Some good news is I received job offer letter from one of the interview I did. I am feeling a little bit stress thinking I may not perform in the new company, I am also feeling a little guilty throwing resignation letter when I still have ongoing projects.

I did jumping rope and bicep curl exercises, was planning to head out to a park to do some pull up, but too bad it was raining.

Well, that's it.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 17

Normal day, nothing much to report.

Some good news is I received job offer letter from one of the interview I did. I am feeling a little bit stress thinking I may not perform in the new company, I am also feeling a little guilty throwing resignation letter when I still have ongoing projects.

I did jumping rope and bicep curl exercises, was planning to head out to a park to do some pull up, but too bad it was raining.

Well, that's it.
Great, man! Our streaks are similar.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Great, man! Our streaks are similar.
Nice ! Clean for more than 2 weeks, let's go for another week !

Day 18

Normal day as well, nothing worth reporting. Very very mild sexual urges, no morning wood, experiencing the good old flatline now.

I slept like a log until afternoon a phone call woke me up. I have accepted the new job offer, will send in resignation letter within this 2 days. I am feeling bad to resign as my manager was nice to me, but the pay was really just too low. I hate this part of myself, it's like I'm not man or decisive enough, I am second guessing myself, I need to fucking grow a backbone. I'm 27 years old and yet I don't feel like a capable adult, fuck.

At night, I did some bicep curl, but I ran out of meat to eat, gonna need to restock again, cooked me some simple aglio olio spaghetti as post work out meal.

Alright, deep breath, calm the mind and head to bed.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 19

Normal day, not much to report. Urges to PMO was close to 0 until I turned on my laptop to do work. P contents and images started appearing in my mind, I was wondering if there's anything new. Good thing, I cut off my thoughts quickly and went to watch TV instead. Now I'm back here feeling calmer than before, albeit still having some urges.

My sleep schedule is back to fucked after a good week. I sleep at the AM and wake at the PM. I'm doing this because I'm working from home, doesn't need to wake up at all unless there's work. I am forcing myself to go office tomorrow to hand in my resignation letter. I'm feeling slightly stress because I want to handle this nicely. My company still owe me sales commission and I'm afraid they'll withhold it upon my resignation. But I also cannot wait any longer as my new job will commence in 2 months time and I need to serve notice period.

Dilemma, Dilemma.

I'm skipping exercises today, just gonna do some stretching and head to bed.
 

Dannybou

Active Member
You're doing great man! Just stick to your no pmo and regular exercise routine! I'm sure you'll be able to figure out a good solution to your company situation, don't get too stressed about it.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Thanks danny, for your kind words !

Day 20

Woohoo, 2/3 completion from my targeted goal. I am still in my flatline, no MW, no sexual libido whatsoever. However, the thought that I'm gonna view some NSFW stuffs or have a cheat day after 30 days is making me excited, triggering my PMO urges. This made me realized i am just abstaining, I am just holding off for a period then release it all at once, my mind is not purified and still occupied with P stuffs. I try very hard not to fantasize, seems like I may need to extend my rebooting days.

On the bright side, i think my resignation with the company went well. One weight off my shoulder.

Gonna head to bed now and work on my side project tomorrow.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 21

Back to 3 weeks we go !

I slept in until mid afternoon today and woke up with a hard boner, I'm a bit glad, it's been a long time since I had a good MW.

The day's normal, nothing much to share. I'm still controlling myself, no PMO, no edging, no peeking, no fantasizing.

Will head to bed now after a cold shower.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 22

It's sunday morning and I went hiking with my best friend again. This time she asked along her ex-colleague who asked along his friends as well. What originally was less than 5 people hike turned into 10 people.

The hike was challenging, but I can manage it no problem, it's good that I'm sweating and training my glutes more. We had a picnic at the destination and that"s it. The scenery was so so, mirror lake was much better though.

After that, me and my best friend met up with another mutual friend for lunch and a coffee. Good time well spent.

Got home, took a shower, slept like a log. Woke up, had dinner, did some stretching. gonna do abit of reading for my side project and head to bed.

Whole day no PMO/edging/taking a peek.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Nice dude, good stuff, congratulations, you soon make it to a month. Keep going, you seem to have the right things in place to leave this P shit behind.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Thanks Jeks, I think I still have a long long way to go. Hahaha

Day 23

Alright, weird morning. Woke up in the middle of sleep, feeling very blur, still half sleeping and furiously rubbed my hard penis until I almost had O. Then realized what I was doing, stopped instantly and went back to sleep in less than 5 seconds. Very very weird indeed.

I talked with my manager, he tried to persuade me to stay, but I have made up my mind to leave. In the end, he wished me best of luck in my future endeavors.

Went to do eye health checkup, all in all, a normal healthy eye though i'm seeing some flashes, maybe its not as serious as i think.

Had dinner with my best friend, then we had a 2 hours badminton session with 7 other people, sweat like mad and my legs are really tired right now. Good time well spent i'd say.

Looks like Facebook is down currently, along with all the apps fb owns. Well, nothing much to do now, I'll just head to bed.
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Day 24

Hmm, I am suppose to be in flatline yet my urges to PMO is strong today. I have not looked at any provocative stuff or anything, I am just very looking forward to day 30, so I can have a cheat day (which wasn't intended originally), my original plan is to extend to 45 days upon reaching day 30, but my determination is not as strong and I am not sure if I can promise myself to do it now.

I suspect my PMO urges came from my outing with a friend. I had a few spontaneous boner when hanging out with her, fantasies came rushing in. I suppose it's nice to have a boner caused by real person instead of by P. The arousal could be what causing me to have a stronger urge to PMO tonight, good thing I am still trying hard to keep my promise to myself.

right now I am going to take a cold shower, work on my side project and sleep.

Hopefully the urges will die down tomorrow.
 
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