PIED and Married

It's been over a month since my last edge and even longer when I actually sat and watched P and had a O. Lol, this is new territory. I don't believe i've ever been this far out before! I'm going to keep going too!!

I know I spoke about morning wood before, but it's almost like clockwork now. I'd probably say most days out of the week i'd wake up with morning wood. This was DEFINITELY not the case in the start of this cold turkey process. Especially when I'd have relapses, just prolongs the morning wood occurrences. I spoke to my wife again about sex on a walk yesterday. I told her whenever she's ready to have sex, i'm ready. It's a bold statement that I've never really been able to say to her in a long time. She replied that "she's good" and I said, i know i put you in that place and i'd like to slowly but surely get you to the mindset of wanting a healthy sex life. I've definitely done damage. I accept that and I have to give her as much time as needed. Now when's she's ovulating, i definitely have the green light, so i'm almost just waiting for that.

I still wake up every morning, drop to my knees and pray. I let Him know that we did all we can do, during this last ovulation cycle, and it's up to Him to allow my sperm to meet her egg basically lol. I wish this stuff was guaranteed to always work, but little did I know, it's not. My wife is only 31, still relatively young, so we'll see. I also pray that He erases those brain pathways i made from watching P and to bring my mind back to it's natural state, before ever watching P. I believe this is working.

Let's keep going!!
 
been a while...she's ovulating again and IT was dead again smh. I didn't edge but I did look at some screen stimulation this past week. I haven't actually looked at a screen and really jerk off, let alone ejaculate, in months. I was sooooo good like 2 months ago smh!! She says sex is like a chore, which i take the blame for. I masturbate in the shower with no fantasies, no screen stimulation...i thought it was ok. Is that not ok? I know people use no PMO but I always connected that with P, so if I wasn't masturbating while watching I thought i'd be fine. Either way, seems like i'm in a sort of flatline. Terrible timing. Last month when she was ovulating we did it like ONCE! I was pissed and disappointed which led to me watching some screen stimulation. Terrible cycle we have to fix!!!

Let's get back to forum posting. Let's call this Day 1, no PMO. I'm also uninstalling instagram and tiktok.
 

casanova

Member
Hi Brandon, I have just read your entire journal. I would suggest going hard mode, no O actually, for 2-3 months (reboot). And then when your libido is high, you try to rewire with as much real sex as possible (rewire).

As you want to get pregnant, I would suggest O only when having sex. No P or M.

But its just my personal suggestion. You can see the reasons on my journal here: https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/20169/
 
thanks casanova...i appreciate your reading of my story and providing input! I'll check out your story too. I definitely will try my best with no P and even M. It's hard not to have O when trying to get pregnant. We'll see lol. If i can't get it up anyway, the O won't happen anyway lol.
 
Day 2 no PMO...technically it's more but i'm just saying Day 2 since yesterday was marked as day 1. My wife is asking for sex...woke up with morning wood but that was 4am and was too tired. I only woke up because she had to go pee. I hoped i'd wake up again with morning wood, but nope. Over the past 2 months I could play with it for 30 seconds and i'd be full on hard but now it's GONE smh. This is the worst. It's my fault, i slipped and looked at some stuff so it's on me. Back on the horse i go! But at least i know there's DEFINITELY light at the end of the tunnel!
 
Welp, did it twice yesterday....can't be mad at that. Took a lot of prepping time...who knows. Just tryna get it done. By IT i mean had sex with my wife, successfully, during her ovulation period.
 
No pregnancy, trying again like Sunday. Still no masturbation. Let's see what today will mark it. Day 29 no PM the O is from my wife, not from P or fantasies, or M so i'm good with that. My morning woods are coming very frequent. We'll see on Sunday how it goes. She apparently found my 2nd instagram that's pretty much reserved for visual stimulation. I check that from time to time, i know i shouldn't but it gives me something. Right now we only have sex during her ovulation periods. Speaking of that, what a let down this last one was. She really had me thinking she was pregnant. She even said she was. I went to go get the test, she started recording my reactions and everything. Then the stick said not pregnant. HUGE LET DOWN! I'm surprised I didn't PMO that whole day. It had the adverse effect. I wanted to get her pregnant even more so, which means ZERO PMO even longer! I guess that's a good thing. I'm so tired of this issue.
 
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