Category is: freedom

shun.csl

Member
Hi everyone!

I'm so glad to found this forum. I live in Brazil, I'm 23 and in college (or something similar). I started watching P when I was 12 yo, but I only watched. My first O was watching P, I was 15 yo. I'm gay so I tried to hide my sexuality and I only have my first relationship with a man (people in general) when I was 18 when I was far from my family. Since my first experience I have ED but I can be erect when I watched P.  I follow some insta where people talk about negative effects to watch pornography and I tried a reboot two months ago. But today I start learn about the brain on porn to write an text.
I usually PMO when I am alone at home and I was on Whatsapp groups to share pics. I quit those groups but sometimes a guy send a pic to me and I feel arouse. It's difficult to me because I always use the internet to share pics and M on webcam with another guy. Now I'm having classes at home, my university is still closed and I can go out with some friends to relax and have fun. However, I started make physical exercises and yoga three months ago. I think I'm going well and I can live without P.

Today is my day 1.
 

shun.csl

Member
Thanks you all. I'm so glad to read your messages supporting me.

- Day 2:

I was busy all day but I discovered that I love cook and cook is helping me to pay attention to the moment. I cooked few foods since I was 14 but 5 months ago I finally stayed long time at home, so I start to cook more food, different food and I like that. It's a good sensation and I feel it's real.

I also identify two triggers to me: be alone at home and boredom.
 

davideyar

Member
Discovering hobbies and things to do definitely helps with boredom. I rediscovered my love for drawing during this pandemic and it helped me avoid boredom.

Stay strong man. Let's get over this!
 

shun.csl

Member
Thanks david, I agree with you. I also wanna learn play the guitar and know about wines.

- Day 3

My day was peaceful, I was busy doing homework and such. I haven't felt any strong desire to PMO. But I usually PMOing twice a week.  I don't know but I need to be strong to fight with this.
 

anubu0

Active Member
You do know! Stay strong brother and you will see results. Be patient and resilient! YOU GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 

shun.csl

Member
Thanks bro!

- Day 5

I'm fine yet, it's all going very well. I discovered other triggers about the extreme videos that I watched until stop: the name of the categories and some phrases that they told during the P. I installed a blocker on my cellphone too, I already use on my laptop.
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 7

Yesterday I had a big trigger: there was a person who I hadn't talked to since last month and he sent me videos and pics, it was a difficult experience but I could resist and delete them. He was my friend, so we talked about my new values and goals, and about our relationship. Another "event": I was on telegram and I received a message talking about a new friend on the plataform, but his profile picture was a soft porn to me, thing that excite me. I also could delete the chat but I felt hard to few minutes.
 

davideyar

Member
Being gay is so hard hahaha. Guys just send nudes like nobody's business. You should definitely consider deleting accounts like those or maybe making a new one where you don't have guys like those sending you nudes. Something you use for work, family, and friends hahaha
 

shun.csl

Member
Thanks guys, I'm happy to find other gays fighting agains P, I can feel some differences.

- Day 9

It's all being good, no one is sharing random nudes to me, I blocked a lot of guys before I stop consuming. I received a threat for that, but he lives away from me. I'm learning how to be more responsible with myself.
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 11

I can feel some differences in my life: I can organize my daily activities and weekly studies and I'm cooking better, my rice and pasta are almost perfect!
This week I still haven't any desire to PMOing, in my last reboot I couldn't stay one week without M, but now is different. I feel your support and I need to follow my goal: I wanna be porn free. I don't wanna have PIED sometimes I feel sad. Today I'm gonna go some mindfulness practice and yoga, tomorrow I'm gonna work out! 
 
Happy to see that you aren't having urges to PMO lately. That's great! I'm in the process of educating myself to incorporate mindfulness, yoga, and more working out into my life, too! We got this!
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 17

I'm feeling bad because on the weekend I share nudes with some guys that I knew but I have some resolutions: I need to spend my time doing nice things like: reading a book, playing chess and playing guitar. I'm a little confused but I know I don't wanna watch P anymore. P is not an option for me!
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 23

I'm back. It happened a lot of things but I could fight and I'm glad to be here, proud of myself and feeling the energy. I need to focus on working out and doing yoga. They help me to not want to watch P and they're healthy, right?
I always watching P in my bedroom, sit on my currently chair. I can't change my chair right now but there are some positions that act as a trigger: I knew which and I'm avoiding them. Whenever I'm alone at home I stay out of my bedroom: reading a book, studying or just watching TV in another room.
I had accounts on social medias to change pics and videos, so I need to stay away for 30 days to deactivate them once for all.
I'm starting a volunteer job and I'm dedicating myself to it.
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 29

Hey Reboot Nation, how are you?

Today I'm feeling good and I know I can do anything. My brother who not lives with me is in my house this week, it's good because I'm not alone. I have something to talk and play. I'm the big brother and it was new to me because we only meet a few days in the year. I'm learning how to be a better person and be more open to conversations. I used to be a shy boy and people didn't speak to me. I had no friend who lived in the same neighboorhood as me, so I needed to use internet to search new friends. Early I begun talking on chats and sharing social medias with older people, maybe show myself in pics or on cam it's not too difficult to me.
Yesterday I started to read the book Your Brain on Porn, I'm too excited!

My goals today:
- Study about P effects on brain;
- Do yoga;
- Cook swiss crepe to all my family;
- Meditate before bed!
 

shun.csl

Member
- Day 31

Finally! It was really hard but I could do this! My new goal is six months without no PMOing. I will clean my life, I don't wanna have my fantasies induced by P. Sometimes I think I don't know what I want in a relatioship. I'm single and my relatioships were short, few sex experiences with a real partner. I am monitoring my symptoms using a spreadsheet. It's good to me. I had some opportunities do be alone at home and I stayed outside my bedroom and cookings, sometimes in a calll with my friends talking about something good, books or anything. They help me and support me too.

I'm managing to play my day: real plans and without procrastinating. Maybe my brain is recovering its good function.
 

zander13

Active Member
keep at it. it's all about the long haul. i've seen a lot of people do really well in the short term and then get complacent. it's good that you're optimistic but make sure you keep your optimism healthy--never trust this addiction. it's a slithering little serpent.

nice job on 30 days. that's a real accomplishment.
 
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