0123456789
New Member
Hi,
I'm on day 6 without pornography. Day 1 of journaling. Things come up. Real fears, resentments and excuses to escape. To relapse. I have some tools from my time spent in twelve step groups, and my twelve step groups continue to be my foundation, but not being able to share/express myself is holding my recovery back i guess. I don't share much because of where i am. In my apartment i have a roommate and i dont want to talk aloud about this. I don't want the neighbors in my building hearing either. Looking ahead, my first goal is to use my phone and share outside during a meeting. To do that i have to get my data fixed on my phone (it's on a MVNO), or figure out if my ISP wifi has coverage around here.
Ok so there's another thing: I'd like to journal here so that i'm accountable. I have been operating in this mode where i'm half-way in, half-way out and it allows me to not be accountable. I want to commit to not looking at porn anymore. "I am a person who no longer looks at pornography."
So what's going on now? I have a job that i don't like and i'm trying to get another: And i have a job interview tomorrow. It's the second round of interviews and i need to prepare more. It's also my Friday today! So i want to do things, too. My interview is tomorrow at 11:30 so i'll report back about that, too. I know during the day i lose faith and just feel stuck, telling myself "i'll never get beyond where i am" and just get really irratble. I have to be mindful of that because i work in customer service. Being an asshole will get me fired.
Be well everyone. I'm thankful for this website and will formalize things a bit more later. For now I just wanted to get on the board
Thank you,
0123456789
I'm on day 6 without pornography. Day 1 of journaling. Things come up. Real fears, resentments and excuses to escape. To relapse. I have some tools from my time spent in twelve step groups, and my twelve step groups continue to be my foundation, but not being able to share/express myself is holding my recovery back i guess. I don't share much because of where i am. In my apartment i have a roommate and i dont want to talk aloud about this. I don't want the neighbors in my building hearing either. Looking ahead, my first goal is to use my phone and share outside during a meeting. To do that i have to get my data fixed on my phone (it's on a MVNO), or figure out if my ISP wifi has coverage around here.
Ok so there's another thing: I'd like to journal here so that i'm accountable. I have been operating in this mode where i'm half-way in, half-way out and it allows me to not be accountable. I want to commit to not looking at porn anymore. "I am a person who no longer looks at pornography."
So what's going on now? I have a job that i don't like and i'm trying to get another: And i have a job interview tomorrow. It's the second round of interviews and i need to prepare more. It's also my Friday today! So i want to do things, too. My interview is tomorrow at 11:30 so i'll report back about that, too. I know during the day i lose faith and just feel stuck, telling myself "i'll never get beyond where i am" and just get really irratble. I have to be mindful of that because i work in customer service. Being an asshole will get me fired.
Be well everyone. I'm thankful for this website and will formalize things a bit more later. For now I just wanted to get on the board
Thank you,
0123456789