Thank you, Jerry!
How Shall We Escape?
- Thread starter Phineas 808
- Start date
Thank you, Jerry!
Thank you for the kind words, Nick!
Thank you, Guitar! These words mean a lot to me, especially the part where I was of some help in your own journey.
Yeah, the mini-goals helped me to attain to higher goals like 120 day, and now 90 day abstinence challenges. These kind of numbers before were unheard of for me, but after hitting a few streaks, I know that these are not possible unless I focus on actually abstaining. If I let mindlessness drive the bus, then I'm at the whim of habit-land, whether or not I can hold off on acting out for only 1-2x a week! But, I'm not counting days indefinitely, because once I reach my main goal, I will- as I've determined before- to be trained on simply living life free of these unwanted habits.
I know what it is to be true, I know what it is to compromise- or keep this thing alive on the drip-feed of p-subs and edging, and I know what it is to lapse after a lengthy streak. I posted on my focus page something about that space between lapse and abstinence, that space which is this streak, where once the goal is met, I'll be trained on being P-free.
Thankful that we have each other's backs.
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Definitely. My last 50-days was a streak of 53 days which was where I had included my overall abstinence from P since I lapsed after my 139 days. But it was 19 after my initial lapse, which I fell to MO, but not to P; and then there was another 39 days including both P and PMO. In other words, I had two counters going, even though on my 'main counter' I reset to 0 after my initial lapse.
So this is the first 'real' 50 days since my initial streak of 139 was obtained. Why do I write any of this? Because this 50 now is the 'strongest' I've done since 12/26/20 of last year.
It's about patience with oneself, and staring oneself in the face, and demanding an 'honest reboot' from oneself.
I appreciated that we were tracking together, but I saw your post (now deleted?) where you said that you were going to quit counting days after an episode of MO?
My hope is that you evaluate your approach, apply mindfulness techniques to control the urges, or whatever works best for you, just so your progress feels uncompromised, even if that means a reset...
Because holding oneself to a higher standard will mean greater progress. But doing anything to stop these habits is commendable.
Be well.
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Day: 60
This is 6/9 or 2/3 toward my current abstinence challenge of 90 days.
This is also 2 months into this recovery effort, building on previous streaks (139, 19, 53 [19, 35], 2, 14).
Today I hit my mini-goal of 60 days without P, PMO, MO, with no episodes of p-subs or edging.
I have only 3 more mini-goals to hit before reaching 90 days!
How do I feel?
I feel great! I'm excited that this streak is a true abstaining, without compromising with p-subs or edging. This isn't to say that it's always smooth sailing, as even last night I had urges to edge, but dismissed them- was mindful to not react to (for or against) them, but let them pass on by. I also had cues toward some pics I saw on IG, and checked my pulse rate (elevated), and did some deep breathing to calm myself back down, to ground myself in the now moment.
Breaking up these 90 days into 3 color-coded phases, the first 1-30 days are the red phase, 31-60 days are the blue phase, and the final 61-90 are the green phase. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now in the Green phase, starting tomorrow! And these color-coded phases are pretty accurate. Because in that first month, it's very volatile. You have behaviors that, if you lapse again, will become habituated (or rehabituated), and thus harder to break. The blue phase is more an intermediary period where your abstinence is turning into habit, and by day 60, the neurochemicals like DeltaPhos B (porn memory) and Hypofrontality (brain fog) have greatly diminished. In the green phase, I can see the end of the journey (by September 1), though in truth, I'll continue on as I am, but trained (and, retrained) to live life without P, PMO, or MO.
I also appreciate that women are attractive and responsive to me, as they have an inner sense for a man in control of himself. They look my way, and there's mutual respect and attraction, as they 'sense' that I'm not a creep or predator, always 'out there' like a shark, seeking to devour them with my insatiable lust. Yes, I admire their beauty, but in a much less objectifying way.
Deeper issues and concerns?
It's true, I have a strange relationship with social media, at least it would appear that way to the onlooker. Has social media caused me to lapse in the past? Many times. But I have found that the more restrictive I am with it, the more 'sensitized' toward it I become. In other words, the more I try to control it directly, the more tempting it is to me.
While I still follow my 'in-and-out' approach generally, how I deal with content on there (say, IG or Youtube) is changing to where I 'allow' certain things to be without judgment, I'll also work with ASMR and use it mindfully toward emotional needs, or even as ERP sessions. On IG I'll save certain things that I might not have before, but nothing that would constitute p-subs for me, though it may have that potential.
Essentially, remembering how I lapsed after my 139 days, what led up to it, and the role that social media played in that, my approach is very mindful of this. I'm following my focus list, and am changing how I view outward stimuli, and following the trek of self-knowledge, basically training myself to not be controlled by these things, while at the same time, not indulging (opposite of abstinence).
Finally, I want to give a little encouragement to some who may be struggling. I'm on my way to hitting my latest abstinence challenge of 90 days, at day 60, this time is after streaks that were only 14 days, and before that, only 2 days long! So, if I can do it, anyone can! Take courage, strengthen your resolve, tweek your methods as needed, and slay this damn dragon!
This is 6/9 or 2/3 toward my current abstinence challenge of 90 days.
This is also 2 months into this recovery effort, building on previous streaks (139, 19, 53 [19, 35], 2, 14).
Today I hit my mini-goal of 60 days without P, PMO, MO, with no episodes of p-subs or edging.
I have only 3 more mini-goals to hit before reaching 90 days!
How do I feel?
I feel great! I'm excited that this streak is a true abstaining, without compromising with p-subs or edging. This isn't to say that it's always smooth sailing, as even last night I had urges to edge, but dismissed them- was mindful to not react to (for or against) them, but let them pass on by. I also had cues toward some pics I saw on IG, and checked my pulse rate (elevated), and did some deep breathing to calm myself back down, to ground myself in the now moment.
Breaking up these 90 days into 3 color-coded phases, the first 1-30 days are the red phase, 31-60 days are the blue phase, and the final 61-90 are the green phase. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now in the Green phase, starting tomorrow! And these color-coded phases are pretty accurate. Because in that first month, it's very volatile. You have behaviors that, if you lapse again, will become habituated (or rehabituated), and thus harder to break. The blue phase is more an intermediary period where your abstinence is turning into habit, and by day 60, the neurochemicals like DeltaPhos B (porn memory) and Hypofrontality (brain fog) have greatly diminished. In the green phase, I can see the end of the journey (by September 1), though in truth, I'll continue on as I am, but trained (and, retrained) to live life without P, PMO, or MO.
I also appreciate that women are attractive and responsive to me, as they have an inner sense for a man in control of himself. They look my way, and there's mutual respect and attraction, as they 'sense' that I'm not a creep or predator, always 'out there' like a shark, seeking to devour them with my insatiable lust. Yes, I admire their beauty, but in a much less objectifying way.
Deeper issues and concerns?
It's true, I have a strange relationship with social media, at least it would appear that way to the onlooker. Has social media caused me to lapse in the past? Many times. But I have found that the more restrictive I am with it, the more 'sensitized' toward it I become. In other words, the more I try to control it directly, the more tempting it is to me.
While I still follow my 'in-and-out' approach generally, how I deal with content on there (say, IG or Youtube) is changing to where I 'allow' certain things to be without judgment, I'll also work with ASMR and use it mindfully toward emotional needs, or even as ERP sessions. On IG I'll save certain things that I might not have before, but nothing that would constitute p-subs for me, though it may have that potential.
Essentially, remembering how I lapsed after my 139 days, what led up to it, and the role that social media played in that, my approach is very mindful of this. I'm following my focus list, and am changing how I view outward stimuli, and following the trek of self-knowledge, basically training myself to not be controlled by these things, while at the same time, not indulging (opposite of abstinence).
Finally, I want to give a little encouragement to some who may be struggling. I'm on my way to hitting my latest abstinence challenge of 90 days, at day 60, this time is after streaks that were only 14 days, and before that, only 2 days long! So, if I can do it, anyone can! Take courage, strengthen your resolve, tweek your methods as needed, and slay this damn dragon!
@ Artemus ~
Thank you, brother. I'm sluggin it out sometimes, in the ditches. Other times, it feels like I'm coasting. Gratefully, I'm still on point...
@ Masooch10 ~
Welcome to my journal, brother. Grateful you've been reading, and glad you started posting. I'll find and follow your story as well. Blessings.
Thank you, brother. I'm sluggin it out sometimes, in the ditches. Other times, it feels like I'm coasting. Gratefully, I'm still on point...
@ Masooch10 ~
Welcome to my journal, brother. Grateful you've been reading, and glad you started posting. I'll find and follow your story as well. Blessings.
Day 65
There is something that we can call factor-X. That which is 'beyond you', and yet encourages you to fall, to use...
Here's the story [trigger warning!]. My wife and daughter were away, and I was home alone. A person had tried to video call me before from FB, and I determined to answer if I had that privacy. Their profile picture wasn't at all provocative (it was of baby Krishna!), but they had earlier sent a picture of their face, as supposedly of an older Asian lady...
Why did I answer? Maybe I was lonely, that's possible, that's an ongoing inner issue of mine. But, luckily it was just darkness on their end. But they began to send me pictures on Messenger, and what did I see staring me in the face? Female genitilia! It was one picture, sent numerous times, of (presumably) 'her' genitilia! Also, she sent a picture of her face again, and also another picture of a couple (clothed) who didn't even depict her!
I did engage, but I only did so to throw them off- if I know it's a scammer- to buy myself time until I can block them. It's a blackmail scheme where they trick you into sending compromising pictures of yourself, and then they threaten to share with the world proof of your indiscretions, unless you send them money. This was also attempted on me the day before from a totally different (but real) user on IG, and moved to Whatsapp, before I blocked them also.
Sure enough, this person asked for me to send them pictures of myself, which I did not do. Instead I blocked them. Also, I don't feel I was talking to a genuine person, but a fake account set up to trick people into this.
I was concerned about seeing the vagina staring me in the face- but I'm like, does a male gynecologist run to wank off everytime they do their job? I wasn't looking for this that morning (Thursday), and so no need to reset.
I think that p-subs are an issue (2x), and some edging (1x). No P, PMO, or MO. But this could very well have gone the other way! It's too late in my reboot to be going down that path..!
But again, I know myself. These things usually are an issue in a cyclical sense. Posting here will help me to stay focused, or refocused as the case may be. Yet in a day or two, I'll find my focus again. But to be honest with myself when I'm weaker is what's important now, at least to myself. Also, to do what's necessary as per my focus list in order to move on. No fault.
There is something that we can call factor-X. That which is 'beyond you', and yet encourages you to fall, to use...
Here's the story [trigger warning!]. My wife and daughter were away, and I was home alone. A person had tried to video call me before from FB, and I determined to answer if I had that privacy. Their profile picture wasn't at all provocative (it was of baby Krishna!), but they had earlier sent a picture of their face, as supposedly of an older Asian lady...
Why did I answer? Maybe I was lonely, that's possible, that's an ongoing inner issue of mine. But, luckily it was just darkness on their end. But they began to send me pictures on Messenger, and what did I see staring me in the face? Female genitilia! It was one picture, sent numerous times, of (presumably) 'her' genitilia! Also, she sent a picture of her face again, and also another picture of a couple (clothed) who didn't even depict her!
I did engage, but I only did so to throw them off- if I know it's a scammer- to buy myself time until I can block them. It's a blackmail scheme where they trick you into sending compromising pictures of yourself, and then they threaten to share with the world proof of your indiscretions, unless you send them money. This was also attempted on me the day before from a totally different (but real) user on IG, and moved to Whatsapp, before I blocked them also.
Sure enough, this person asked for me to send them pictures of myself, which I did not do. Instead I blocked them. Also, I don't feel I was talking to a genuine person, but a fake account set up to trick people into this.
I was concerned about seeing the vagina staring me in the face- but I'm like, does a male gynecologist run to wank off everytime they do their job? I wasn't looking for this that morning (Thursday), and so no need to reset.
I think that p-subs are an issue (2x), and some edging (1x). No P, PMO, or MO. But this could very well have gone the other way! It's too late in my reboot to be going down that path..!
But again, I know myself. These things usually are an issue in a cyclical sense. Posting here will help me to stay focused, or refocused as the case may be. Yet in a day or two, I'll find my focus again. But to be honest with myself when I'm weaker is what's important now, at least to myself. Also, to do what's necessary as per my focus list in order to move on. No fault.
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Thanks for you words, Masooch. I've mentioned earlier in my journal the need I have for social media, though it's a continual challenge to navigate it without falling into a place of indulgence.
At the same time, I've dealt earlier and elsewhere the danger of being overly restrictive, and giving too much power to outward stimuli, rather than taking it back.
Certainly we see things that act as particular cues toward habituated behaviors, what most here call 'triggers', but these in-and-of-themselves can't make you do anything, even your urges, for as strong and persistent as they may be, cannot make you do anything.
The sooner we learn that, the sooner we'll be over our addictions. So, it's a fine line to navigate and to balance these things. But above all, we have to know ourselves.
At the same time, I've dealt earlier and elsewhere the danger of being overly restrictive, and giving too much power to outward stimuli, rather than taking it back.
Certainly we see things that act as particular cues toward habituated behaviors, what most here call 'triggers', but these in-and-of-themselves can't make you do anything, even your urges, for as strong and persistent as they may be, cannot make you do anything.
The sooner we learn that, the sooner we'll be over our addictions. So, it's a fine line to navigate and to balance these things. But above all, we have to know ourselves.
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Phineas, I have a question. Are there really only 7 members on this website? I just looked up members at 5:24 pm and there are 7 out of 20+k. Is that possible? Did something happen to the website? Just curious. I just joined and I thought there were way more people participating. I notice on the posts the same few names that comment.
There are multiple members, but not all are online at the same time. There's usually very few at any given time, but that's typical here. Some days see a spike in online activity, and some days are too quiet.
In my opinion, the inactivity isn't too bad, and makes sense. It's a site about quitting bad habits, and gaining our sexual (and cerebral) health back, it's not as dopamine fulfilling as say, Facebook.
Hi Phineas,
Sorry to hear of your recent difficulties. I suppose scams like these are an unfortunate but inevitable by-product of a society as unhealthily reliant on social media as ours unfortunately is. To that end, I suppose to live a recovered life in this society, it is also equally unfortunate but inevitable that the burden rests on us to become someone who can deal with being exposed to this kind of imagery without falling into a pattern of PMO or edging binge behaviour right? You didn't search for it, you didn't respond to it with P, M or O so you win! To that end, good job not succumbing to perfectionism or a 'legalistic mindset' as you have often put it. You're doing great and i'm honestly happy to come back after this time and see you're doing so well.
While it is a sad inevitability that these X factor situations will occur again for all of us at some point in the future, if we can manage one, the next time will only be easier until we're living a life where the pull to PMO is so weak we can dismiss it without a second thought.
Each cue is an opportunity for us to grow into someone who doesn't use this junk, and it sounds like you passed this one with flying colours. Great work!
Last Sunday morning there was an episode of MO. It was quick, somewhat compulsive, and not too enjoyable.
I know that p-subs were part of it, going back a few days prior (3x) and edging (1x). I noticed my relation to these things were getting lax, and I knew I was in a cycle that I needed to be careful about. It seemed to be somewhat of an issue as I came into my day-60.
How I've decided to deal with this in relation to my current abstinence challenge, and I learned this from another user a while back, is to actually add a day, so it's 90 days +1. So, instead of ending on September 1st, it will now end on the 2nd of that month.
The reasoning behind this is, though MO is a red-line behavior for me, along with P, PMO, it was something that was brief and relatively rare for me over all. I typically don't have the habit of MO'ing- like I used to, though I know that edging can become a habit, and if I MO repeatedly, that too can become a habit. But I'm going for the win- like Dick Vitale says,
If I can eek out a win, it's gonna be a miracle, baby!
"Fake it till you make it..." is a famous recovery quote, and I know that this recovery effort has been anything but pretty, but in the last 67 days, I've not looked at P, nor have PMO'd. That looks like a win to me.
I knew that I was dealing with cues from earlier regarding the sex-bot. Also, we discovered that previous day our daughter was dancing with Puff the Magic Dragon, and all the stress surrounding that. But, I think bottom line, it's behavior that I had fed into.... But need to get back to a vigilance and strengthen my resolve so I can finish this month, and my abstinence challenge strong.
I know that p-subs were part of it, going back a few days prior (3x) and edging (1x). I noticed my relation to these things were getting lax, and I knew I was in a cycle that I needed to be careful about. It seemed to be somewhat of an issue as I came into my day-60.
How I've decided to deal with this in relation to my current abstinence challenge, and I learned this from another user a while back, is to actually add a day, so it's 90 days +1. So, instead of ending on September 1st, it will now end on the 2nd of that month.
The reasoning behind this is, though MO is a red-line behavior for me, along with P, PMO, it was something that was brief and relatively rare for me over all. I typically don't have the habit of MO'ing- like I used to, though I know that edging can become a habit, and if I MO repeatedly, that too can become a habit. But I'm going for the win- like Dick Vitale says,
If I can eek out a win, it's gonna be a miracle, baby!
"Fake it till you make it..." is a famous recovery quote, and I know that this recovery effort has been anything but pretty, but in the last 67 days, I've not looked at P, nor have PMO'd. That looks like a win to me.
I knew that I was dealing with cues from earlier regarding the sex-bot. Also, we discovered that previous day our daughter was dancing with Puff the Magic Dragon, and all the stress surrounding that. But, I think bottom line, it's behavior that I had fed into.... But need to get back to a vigilance and strengthen my resolve so I can finish this month, and my abstinence challenge strong.
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Yesterday there was stress about getting my new monitor to sync with my older computer- ha! But we made it work. Then, I discovered I needed to get speakers for it- and was that going to work? How much more money was that to cost? But it all came together.
Was home alone in the afternoon well into the late evening, as my wife and daughter made a surprise trip together.
But, I was fine. No lingering urges, or so called 'chaser effects'. There was even a cool sci-fi movie later on with a very attractive blond, looked like a cult-movie, and she looked 'hippie-ish'. She was dressed provacatively, but I simply watched for entertainment value, and then changed it... No issues. No urges.
I'm also very well aware of the dangers that social media can be to me, if I don't approach it in a mindful and purposeful way. Brief, in-and-out. I track my usage on IG, and already it's dropping to like 14 minutes a day, which is near my goal.
So I'm back in control, and being home alone and the stresses of getting my computer back up and running were just part of life. I'm learning myself, and self-knowledge is key.
Was home alone in the afternoon well into the late evening, as my wife and daughter made a surprise trip together.
But, I was fine. No lingering urges, or so called 'chaser effects'. There was even a cool sci-fi movie later on with a very attractive blond, looked like a cult-movie, and she looked 'hippie-ish'. She was dressed provacatively, but I simply watched for entertainment value, and then changed it... No issues. No urges.
I'm also very well aware of the dangers that social media can be to me, if I don't approach it in a mindful and purposeful way. Brief, in-and-out. I track my usage on IG, and already it's dropping to like 14 minutes a day, which is near my goal.
So I'm back in control, and being home alone and the stresses of getting my computer back up and running were just part of life. I'm learning myself, and self-knowledge is key.
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Sounds great Phineas. I'm also getting a lot better at being home alone. This week my wife and daughter were gone the whole day and I didn't even realize that I didn't think about porn or masturbation until they got home. Them being gone for the day used to be my free hall pass. This time I worked, played music and didn't even think about it. That is the biggest progress I've felt during my time here. Tomorrow is 120 days. As you know, it's been an up and down ride with some near failures, but I've made it through so far and I feel better than ever. Sounds like you are doing great as well. Thanks for your continued support.
Definitely, Guitar, on the continued support! Congrats on your impending 120 days, too!
Being home alone is simply a normal day for me now, on how it affects me- unless I'm in an obsessive mood. If my wife goes out of town for an over nighter or two, then that's a real danger. Though I've proven to myself (back in 2016, and since) that I can have a peaceful and successful time, and I certainly enjoy myself more now than before. No more sleepless nights of obsession, and having to work a 12 hour shift the next day! Those days are certainly over.
Being home alone is simply a normal day for me now, on how it affects me- unless I'm in an obsessive mood. If my wife goes out of town for an over nighter or two, then that's a real danger. Though I've proven to myself (back in 2016, and since) that I can have a peaceful and successful time, and I certainly enjoy myself more now than before. No more sleepless nights of obsession, and having to work a 12 hour shift the next day! Those days are certainly over.
Day: 70
This is 7/9 toward my current abstinence challenge of 90 days.
This is also 2 months and 9 days into this recovery effort, building on previous streaks (139, 19, 53 [19, 35], 2, 14).
Today I hit my mini-goal of 70 days without P, PMO, but with an episode of MO (x1), episodes of p-subs (x2) and edging (x1).
I have only 2 more mini-goals to hit before reaching 90 days!
How do I feel?
Obviously it's not a pretty or perfect picture, but I'm going for the win, as discussed above. But it has still been since June 3rd since I've seen P, been to a P-website, or PMO'd.
I've returned to control, and am mindful about my social media usage. I'm very well aware of the dangers of lingering mindlessly on IG, YT, FB, etc... And while I need these platforms to minister, and I do get some entertainment value, I'm to be otherwise in-and-out. I'm not obsessing about it, and feel like I'm back on track.
Deeper issues and concerns?
Why I didn't reset to 0 is because in the bigger picture, my episode of MO seems so small in comparison of the progress I'm making, that reaching 90 days is more important, having several failed attempts previously (since April 13th). MO is a redline behavior, and if it became a thing, I'd have to reset, as I would if there were P or PMO. But for now, once 90 days is reached, I'll simply allow that episode to be subsumed in my overall goal, and will not count it at all, other than a note on my page 1.
It is scary when I go into those cycles of obsession, where edging may be involved, or p-subs. Because these can either lead me back into P, PMO, or they can become unwanted habits themselves. I think that maybe I become biologically 'horny' and instead of thinking- "I should have sex with my wife", though part of me thinks that, my mind starts looking for other things to satisfy. And as previously discussed, I'll come to this place when I have other needs too, like emotional or spiritual.
It is imperative for me, going forward, that I keep to my focus list regarding social media, so that I'm not simply falling back on that as habit. Even when I plan to make love to my wife (we go through weird periods of not having sex...), I'll want to reach out to p-subs in order to make sure Ol' Willy is going to work, or be willing to. But I think this is all in my head, as I don't have PIED, just the occasional performance anxiety.
I am excited, despite how it looks above, I'm actually in the 'green zone', and the end goal is just before me. I simply added +1 day to my 90 to be true to myself, and obtain the win. Afterwards, I'll cease counting, and be better trained to live life- but with both eyes open.
This is 7/9 toward my current abstinence challenge of 90 days.
This is also 2 months and 9 days into this recovery effort, building on previous streaks (139, 19, 53 [19, 35], 2, 14).
Today I hit my mini-goal of 70 days without P, PMO, but with an episode of MO (x1), episodes of p-subs (x2) and edging (x1).
I have only 2 more mini-goals to hit before reaching 90 days!
How do I feel?
Obviously it's not a pretty or perfect picture, but I'm going for the win, as discussed above. But it has still been since June 3rd since I've seen P, been to a P-website, or PMO'd.
I've returned to control, and am mindful about my social media usage. I'm very well aware of the dangers of lingering mindlessly on IG, YT, FB, etc... And while I need these platforms to minister, and I do get some entertainment value, I'm to be otherwise in-and-out. I'm not obsessing about it, and feel like I'm back on track.
Deeper issues and concerns?
Why I didn't reset to 0 is because in the bigger picture, my episode of MO seems so small in comparison of the progress I'm making, that reaching 90 days is more important, having several failed attempts previously (since April 13th). MO is a redline behavior, and if it became a thing, I'd have to reset, as I would if there were P or PMO. But for now, once 90 days is reached, I'll simply allow that episode to be subsumed in my overall goal, and will not count it at all, other than a note on my page 1.
It is scary when I go into those cycles of obsession, where edging may be involved, or p-subs. Because these can either lead me back into P, PMO, or they can become unwanted habits themselves. I think that maybe I become biologically 'horny' and instead of thinking- "I should have sex with my wife", though part of me thinks that, my mind starts looking for other things to satisfy. And as previously discussed, I'll come to this place when I have other needs too, like emotional or spiritual.
It is imperative for me, going forward, that I keep to my focus list regarding social media, so that I'm not simply falling back on that as habit. Even when I plan to make love to my wife (we go through weird periods of not having sex...), I'll want to reach out to p-subs in order to make sure Ol' Willy is going to work, or be willing to. But I think this is all in my head, as I don't have PIED, just the occasional performance anxiety.
I am excited, despite how it looks above, I'm actually in the 'green zone', and the end goal is just before me. I simply added +1 day to my 90 to be true to myself, and obtain the win. Afterwards, I'll cease counting, and be better trained to live life- but with both eyes open.
Nice job and great post! The wife relationship is similar to mine. My desires are much stronger than hers and with her medical conditions that doesn't help either. When I want to have sex and get turned down or no she isn't feeling well that would always trigger me to PMO like I deserved it. The good news during this journey is that hasn't happened even though I get sexually frustrated from the denial or lack of sex. For me to overcome this has been a blessing and I do believe has strengthened our relationship.
Good luck and Praying for all on this site!
Good luck and Praying for all on this site!
Thank you, Jerry! Much appreciate you coming around...
I would say we're a little different in that my wife usually initiates sex, and sometimes I turn her down- maybe not directly, but implying that I'm too tired, or whatever.
I don't know why this is... It's not libido on my part, though (and we joke about this) it seems that Ol' Willy is hybernating, sometimes even in a 'deep freeze' ! Maybe that is libido... I just think that I need to rewire with my wife, in addition to quiting the addiction.
My goal is to make love at least once a week, but it's more like 1x or 2x a month! It's funny, I'll eventually pray that we 'do it', and then that night it will happen. Sometimes deep in the night I'll initiate it, but this last time I didn't want to wake her...
I would say we're a little different in that my wife usually initiates sex, and sometimes I turn her down- maybe not directly, but implying that I'm too tired, or whatever.
I don't know why this is... It's not libido on my part, though (and we joke about this) it seems that Ol' Willy is hybernating, sometimes even in a 'deep freeze' ! Maybe that is libido... I just think that I need to rewire with my wife, in addition to quiting the addiction.
My goal is to make love at least once a week, but it's more like 1x or 2x a month! It's funny, I'll eventually pray that we 'do it', and then that night it will happen. Sometimes deep in the night I'll initiate it, but this last time I didn't want to wake her...