One Year on Reboot Nation!!
Also, I hit my 10 day probationary successfully!
I’m marking my one year anniversary after rejoining Reboot Nation on November 17, 2020.
The year in review:
I accomplished 139 day streak (11/6/20 - 3/25/21).
This is how I rejoined Reboot Nation, 11 days in. I wanted that extra edge in going passed my best efforts, which on their own were getting better and better. I began to see real results when I started to change my habits surrounding my phone use, and get control over p-subs. During this time, p-subs and edging were minimal, and my phone-use habits still follow what I set out to change back in September-October of 2020.
This streak ended as I entertained p-memory and nostalgia toward p-use. I also discovered ASMR, which 'awakened' what had laid dormant up to that point. The former habits were no longer there, and it wasn't something that occurred overnight.
Then I had lapsed after failing a 30 day probationary period 19 days later, to MO.
Then it took me 3x tries (4/13/21 - 6/3/21), to accomplish my 90+1 day abstinence challenge (ended 9/2/21).
This was part of my latest streak of 157 days (6/3/21 - 11/7/21). There were 2x episodes of MO during this time.
This streak ended after a strange and lengthy period which began in early August where p-subs and edging were an ever increasing and rehabituated problem for me. But I had several successes as well as failures along this line. I almost 'wanted' to lapse, so I could reset to 0 and refocus.
Currently:
I have completed a 10 day probationary period that the previous lapse hadn't become a re-lapse, or a repeated behavior. It wasn't easy, as on day 1 and day 7 were strong urges to use, but these were dismissed.
I addressed my social media habits with the acronym:
I > integrity M > mindful P > purposeful A > alert C > concise T > truthful.
This is greatly helping me to have that kind of focus I had a year ago when I rejoined RN. It's challenging as these changes are not yet made a habit. But I have to be consistent.
I'm now going on, not (closely) counting days, as if I accomplished an abstinence challenge. I'm going to simply live my life free from P, PMO, and MO. That's what my abstinence challenges train me for, and now I execute that in my day-to-day.
P-subs and edging are something brought under control now, mostly due to the changes concerning social media, and also dismissing urges.
My goal is to make love to my wife once a week, and this is so far an elusive goal. I feel mostly a-sexual when I go to bed. I am able to perform when we do make love, other than the occassional performance anxiety. But even that has improved over the last year.
I'm in a good place, feeling vigilant and not complacent, and have hopes of leaving P, PMO, and MO behind in the dust bins of history.