Thank you, Zaraki!
To be fair, I understand the 90 days as a rough baseline to work toward in 'rebooting' physiologically from a habit that has devastated our dopamine receptors, cutting link between true pleasure with a real human being, and our penis. There's also a roughly 60 days, more or less, to address brain-fog (hypofrontality) and p-memory (DeltaFos B). Also, it generally takes 3 to 4 months to change a habit...
So, in the beginning, counting days might make sense. But after a while, it quit making sense in my journey as it began to be a negative. I wasn't after any particular goal or 'abstinence challenge' (90 day or 120 day), which I had already completed a couple of times last year any way.
I can definitely relate to the fear or possibility of lapsing right when you're about to hit your target number...!
But now simply living life free from P, PMO and MO (which agrees with your EasyPeasy Method), counting days feels almost like 'counting down' to a lapse. Or it creates a false sense that I'm alright at X-amount of days, when other things could be going on against recovering.
Not counting days for me also diminishes porn in my mind, that it's not some all-powerful thing I'm trying to avoid, and it takes pressure off of me from failing. If I lapsed, I'm not stepping on the 3rd-rail of my recovery, it's not curtains or the end of the world. While not desireable, it's not a show stopper. Can neural pathways be resensitized? Sure. Can old habits become rehabitualized? Definitely. So, we address what needs addressing, but without all the pressure.
Good luck in your journey!
Thank you for writing back. Reading your post it reminds me of how helpful counting days was. Perhaps only counting days in the beginning might be beneficial until the habit has changed and then the right approach could be to forgot about porn all together. This was my idea to do it but I wasn't sure for how long I had to keep doing.
Yes it started to get negative for me too after I was finally able to reach 4 months but I didn't feel any change or there was but I wasn't aware of it. I have relapsed in the past on day 86 and day 82 and it took me a lot of time, years to get back to even reaching 21 days. So I got fearful.
I totally agree you wrote ''counting days feels almost like 'counting down' to a lapse'' To me it feels just like that, like an unease feeling of having to look over my shoulder if someone is there. Yes that is also true creating a false sense doing something like a hidden crime but lying to oneself of doing nothing wrong.
The thing I don't like about counters is when someone has to reset it to zero, even though he may have really reached a half year porn and MO free. That is amazing progress but day 0 feels like everything is lost. Much easier in those moments to have a binge session or 2 being on day 0 as tomorrow is day 1. I noticed by myself how strong I really was, reaching close to 90 days but after a small slip up, I completely lost myself while I could have just kept going no big deal. So angry, disappointed and having fears thinking I lost all progress, I might as well give up. This time I won't fall for it being resilient.
Yes I also agree not counting days does feel much different then when I did count days. Indeed I still should be careful with slip ups as my brain can wire back in no time.
Thank you Phineas and I wish you good luck too in your journey!