You've been winning the war, Phin. Focus now, and this stays a blip. I respect that this is a risky time for you, though, so I wish you every strength. I remember when I first committed to quit, my wife told me that I was facing one hell of a tough fight, and I couldn't expect to win without soaking-up a few, hard, punches in the face. I guess you just got clipped. But it's good to see you're already back on your feet. You're strong, experienced and have great processes.
Thank you, WIP! Yes, focus is key and essential right now. And your reply was invaluable toward that effort.
Yes, I've come to appreciate that this is a mother of a fight. Victory in this area is not easy, and hard won, albeit 'smartly' won if we can avoid the mistakes of earlier failed attempts. But this addiction is akin to heroine or cocain addiction, and while the whole recovery process is taking power back so this is not the case, it is something to remember as yet another reason to stay clear of this thing.
I come back to the thing that has me scratching my head, though, my friend..... your reliance on Social Media. It's tripped you up before and it's tripped you up now. Even if you never trip again, it's going to be a source of tension for you. You're a man of faith and it's clearly important to your work in ministry, of which I'm sincerely respectful. But isn't there a way you can carry out your work without running your own social media accounts, or putting something like "K9" on your devices so that somebody gets alerted as soon as you go into a grey area? I think you have a much stronger recovery plan than I do, but "socials" look like an Achilles heel from here.
I respect your perspective here, and it's frankly not the first time addressing this has been suggested. Of course my success in reaching my goal of 120 days was largely due to rearranging my social media and iPhone use, and so this is very much not lost on me- and I've long recognized it as a source for many (if not most) of my falls.
But, and I give credit to your words above, when I read what you wrote here, it's motivated me to cut even deeper than before in regards to social media use: a new plan has emerged.
Plan toward social media:
I am to use social media (FB, IG, YT, Twitter) only 2 days a week, Saturdays and Sundays- and then, only the amount of time given during my former changes. So, M-F will be given to either reading a book, or else getting ready before bed, or as I get up in the mornings, I'll just sit there if need be.
Exceptions: If I have a definite purpose for going on; if I'm inspired with a post- get in, get out; or, if I'm to strictly get my news updates (my Twitter usage).
There are still changes to be made, too, as to what content I see on there. This is a very purposeful endeavor, but I should be ready to 'go live' Friday with implementing this plan.
You're a star performer. Hopefully you climb straight back on the bike and get pedalling, even if you have to do a few days uphill. Good luck and best wishes!
Vigilance is certainly called for, but I think that these further changes will be radical enough to keep me sharp and focused in living out my recovery.
Thank you, again, WIP. Your help proved that I made the right choice to include this forum in my bouncing back from this.