How Shall We Escape?

[Phineas 808]

Phineas 808, It said today is your birthday? If so happy birthday brother! Hope you have a great day!

Yes! Thank you. I'm 55 years today, and the best birthday gift I can give myself (and my family) is abstinence from P, PMO, and MO!

Today is day: 105 along those fronts, and 39 days without MO.

Almost every birthday I intend to give myself this kind of gift, but typically had struggled leading up to it, and usually unable to celebrate that. Now I am!

 

[guitar1968]

Happy Birthday Phineas! What a great present to give yourself - keeping away from porn!

Enjoy it and enjoy the freedom of not having to be controlled by the porn monster!

 

[Phineas 808]

Thank you, Guitar!

 

[Orbiter]

Yes! Thank you. I'm 55 years today, and the best birthday gift I can give myself (and my family) is abstinence from P, PMO, and MO!

Today is day: 105 along those fronts, and 39 days without MO.

Almost every birthday I intend to give myself this kind of gift, but typically had struggled leading up to it, and usually unable to celebrate that. Now I am!

Hopefully it is not too late to get on the birthday bandwagon so I can wish you a Happy Birthday Phineas!

I hope it was a day filled throughout with the true richness of connection, laughter, life & being! You've earned it.

 

[Squidward81]

Yes! Thank you. I'm 55 years today, and the best birthday gift I can give myself (and my family) is abstinence from P, PMO, and MO!

Today is day: 105 along those fronts, and 39 days without MO.

Almost every birthday I intend to give myself this kind of gift, but typically had struggled leading up to it, and usually unable to celebrate that. Now I am!

Happy birthday.
So encouraging to read your story and your plan for going forward
Thank you for also taking the time to respond to my journey.
Be blessed!

 

[Phineas 808]

Hopefully it is not too late to get on the birthday bandwagon so I can wish you a Happy Birthday Phineas!

I hope it was a day filled throughout with the true richness of connection, laughter, life & being! You've earned it.

Not too late, Orbiter! Thank you for the well wishes...!

 

[Phineas 808]

Happy birthday.
So encouraging to read your story and your plan for going forward
Thank you for also taking the time to respond to my journey.
Be blessed!

Thank you, Squidward!

We have to do this together, help each other!

Blessings to you, too!

 

[guitar1968]

You are an inspiration here on Reboot Nation Phineas! Not just because of your success, but because of your thoughts, your actions and yes even your occasional slips. You consistently show people that you can keep moving forward. You encourage everyone you come in contact with and that is so helpful.

Recovering from any addiction is never a straight line. There are curves, ups and downs and many obstacles along the way. You have been great in helping us all understand that we can get through them and keep moving on.

Thanks!

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

You are an inspiration here on Reboot Nation Phineas! Not just because of your success, but because of your thoughts, your actions and yes even your occasional slips. You consistently show people that you can keep moving forward. You encourage everyone you come in contact with and that is so helpful.

Recovering from any addiction is never a straight line. There are curves, ups and downs and many obstacles along the way. You have been great in helping us all understand that we can get through them and keep moving on.

Thanks!

Absolutely. Phineas has been great help for me so far.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Yes! Thank you. I'm 55 years today, and the best birthday gift I can give myself (and my family) is abstinence from P, PMO, and MO!

Today is day: 105 along those fronts, and 39 days without MO.

Almost every birthday I intend to give myself this kind of gift, but typically had struggled leading up to it, and usually unable to celebrate that. Now I am!

Yo, man, happy birthday! 105 days without porn is a number! Very inspiring. I will be 31 at the end of November, maybe I could get at least 2 months by then.

 

[Phineas 808]

Thank you, Guitar and Escape!

 

[Phineas 808]

I will be 31 at the end of November, maybe I could get at least 2 months by then.

That’s a worthy goal, Escape!

 

[Phineas 808]

Porn Free Summer!

Summer = 6/20/21 - 9/22/21, or 93 days

This statement was at the end of my previous 90 day challenge, and this is exactly what we had, a porn-free summer, overlapping challenges notwithstanding!

We are now currently at 114 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1).

I'm coming out of a period where p-subs and edging were a struggle, from before 8/8/21 and on through September. There was even an external link from Youtube which led to p-sites! I didn't linger, obsess or explore. It wasn't anything I searched for, so no reset.

Was I trying to self-sabotage? It was almost like I was preparing to PMO, or to set up the stage for a fall. Even yesterday I had opportunity to P, PMO, but I didn't want to! I was too busy building the life I want, not the one I'm trying to get away from.

Even last night, I had edged, and my mind was telling me in my half-sleep that the 'next step' was to PMO. When I got up for the restroom, though, I left my phone behind instead.

This is all the 'training' from my abstinence challenge put to the test. My goal is to simply live life free from the unwanted habits. My 'orange-line' behaviors are threatening to be habits, and I have to employ all I know to prevent this from happening. And I find this easier when I relax, and let these things wash over me without judgement, and not obsess on them.

I feel I am coming out of this strange time, and that I'm continuing to build on my previous abstinence challenge. In fact, my ability to not take this too far is a testament to the habit change from that time. Some of my self-talk is,

"This doesn't have to end with P, PMO, I can find my resilience and back away without having to completely lapse first!"

I have to simply keep in practice what I know to do, what I advise everyone else to do, lol...! But I do feel that I'm no longer obsessing, and that I have to disrupt repetitiveness, which is the life-blood of habit.

Be well, All!

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Porn Free Summer!

Summer = 6/20/21 - 9/22/21, or 93 days

This statement was at the end of my previous 90 day challenge, and this is exactly what we had, a porn-free summer, overlapping challenges notwithstanding!

We are now currently at 114 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1).

I'm coming out of a period where p-subs and edging were a struggle, from before 8/8/21 and on through September. There was even an external link from Youtube which led to p-sites! I didn't linger, obsess or explore. It wasn't anything I searched for, so no reset.

Was I trying to self-sabotage? It was almost like I was preparing to PMO, or to set up the stage for a fall. Even yesterday I had opportunity to P, PMO, but I didn't want to! I was too busy building the life I want, not the one I'm trying to get away from.

Even last night, I had edged, and my mind was telling me in my half-sleep that the 'next step' was to PMO. When I got up for the restroom, though, I instead left my phone behind.

This is all the 'training' from my abstinence challenge put to the test. My goal is to simply live life free from the unwanted habits. My 'orange-line' behaviors are threatening to be habits, and I have to employ all I know to prevent this from happening. And I find this easier when I relax, and let these things wash over me without judgement, and not obsess on them.

I feel I am coming out of this strange time, and that I'm continuing to build on my previous abstinence challenge. In fact, my ability to not take this too far is a testament to the habit change from that time. Some of my self-talk is,

"This doesn't have to end with P, PMO, I can find my resilience and back away without having to completely lapse first!"

I have to simply keep in practice what I know to do, what I advise everyone else to do, lol...! But I do feel that I'm no longer obsessing, and that I have to disrupt repetitiveness, which is the life-blood of habit.

Be well, All!

Awesome, man! That's outstanding progress right there!

 

[Phineas 808]

Awesome, man! That's outstanding progress right there!

I appreciate that, brother!

 

[guitar1968]

Sounds like you are controlling your narrative. That is awesome. I'm also finding it easier to walk away. I can view a hot girl or even nude girl on a Netflix show and not feel like I have to go take care of myself. I just watch, enjoy the view a bit, and off to the next scene. There will always be hot women, nudity, sex scenes in your basic Netflix show and movies. I want to keep watching those shows. Many of them are exceptional. They no longer trigger me and that is a very good thing.

It's nice to have a porn free summer, isn't it?

 

[Phineas 808]

It's nice to have a porn free summer, isn't it?

Yes... it... is...!

You're absolutely right, Guitar! There will always be hot women, on Netfilx, on Instagram, in public, and there will be the occasional sex-scene not sought after, but enjoyed for what it is... What I like to say, 'No harm no foul'.

I'm 'cleaning up' my Instagram (nothing racey) to signal that I'm serious about ceasing the p-subs and/or edging that may or may not be related. In that process, I'm not doing a 'scorched earth' policy, or being overly restrictive. Because I know how I work, that if I feel deprivation from something that could be in itself innocent, it would have the opposite effect, and turn things into an obsession.

I do far better when I have that tension between restriction and allowance. Back in the day I was overly restrictive, and that only prolonged my addictions.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Yes... it... is...!

You're absolutely right, Guitar! There will always be hot women, on Netfilx, on Instagram, in public, and there will be the occasional sex-scene not sought after, but enjoyed for what it is... What I like to say, 'No harm no foul'.

I'm 'cleaning up' my Instagram (nothing racey) to signal that I'm serious about ceasing the p-subs and/or edging that may or may not be related. In that process, I'm not doing a 'scorched earth' policy, or being overly restrictive. Because I know how I work, that if I feel deprivation from something that could be in itself innocent, it would have the opposite effect, and turn things into an obsession.

I do far better when I have that tension between restriction and allowance. Back in the day I was overly restrictive, and that only prolonged my addictions.

Great, man!

 

[Phineas 808]

Day: 120!

Today is 120 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1)!

This number is significant for me for its spiritual meaning (Gen 6:3; Acts 1:15; 2:1-4). When I originally joined Reboot Nation (from 2014 to 2016) I called my journal "The End of All Flesh" (deleted) pointing to the significance of that number. I planned to be 120 days abstinent then, and accomplished it, but with struggles. I began this journal last November of 2020 with the same goal, which I accomplished in a stronger way.

This 120+ days are part of an ongoing streak having completed a 90 day abstinence challenge. However, this time hasn't been without struggles:

1. I lapsed to MO on 8/8/21. I didn't reset because in the bigger picture, I wanted to go for the win, and so added +1 day to my abstinence challenge. It has now been 54 days since MO occurred (or within the last 120 days I've only MO'd 1x), and it is not a habbit.

2. I had clicked onto a link found on Youtube during an episode of p-subs (on 9/20/21), and was exposed to P, and saw nudity but briefly. I didn't linger, I didn't obsess, keep watching, or return to it. I didn't reset at that time either, because I didn't purposely seek it out, though it was linked to my p-subs struggle.

The above two episodes were fueled by p-subs and edging which since early August, and increased during September, started becoming unwanted habits. I know what constitutes a reset for me, and I just haven't crossed that line. Needless to say, I had to shut this down, as a laspe or relapse into P, PMO or MO was imminent.

I purposely purged, and am in that act of purging my social media accounts. That has been a danger point for me throughout my current journey, but I need these platforms to either minister or to build my business. This focus has been successful, as I've moved away from p-subs and edging as habits. This purging has not been overly restrictive, but it had to be deep enough to be meaningful. It involves unfollows, deletion of pics (nothing racey), or whatever could lead me to either lapse or set myself up for failure. This is in addressing an anxiety driven (?) dependence on female beauty.

I'm feeling good, and continuing on my above streak. None of those things meant a reset for me, although admittedly not 'picture perfect'. Perfectionism can work against us, though I certainly prefer perfection...

Nonetheless, I'm not doing too bad, and continue abstaining and living life free from P, PMO, and MO.

 

[JerryTX]

Great post and like your reflection back on your current journey. The P subs and edging are definitely something I am keeping a control on. What a great streak you are on and thanks as always for your inspiration!