Relapsed for couple of times...
Day 30 today...
So, long story short, after first 30 days i have had sex with my gorlfriend...
Thing is i avoided sexual contact for 30 days having in mind my problem..
And that special night i was very stressed, however i managec to get an erected during the fore playing, however it was not consistent, so i told her i am still not ready for this, however after we got in bed again i felt an erection so i decided to put it inside her, i felt sensitive and excited but i came in less than 10 seconds.
So i stopped and told her that this was just like a miracle because i have porn induced ED. And she told me "so you are cured now, and i than told, no i have a lot to work on it yet...
So while we were speaking about this she notices that i came inside and she was very upset, however we tried again that night, and i was able to get an erection but as i was unable to penetrate from that position it got down, she tried to do me a felatio, but i rejected, so we got back to sleep...
In the morning we woke up kissing and had sex, instantly as i got an erection i penetrated and came again in 10 seconds, she was upset again.
After that weekend we lost contact, and she was acting like nothing happened between us, and she finally told me the day before new year that she dumps me because i was distant and i was not around in the beginning (i was distant because i wanted to prolong first sex)...
Long story short i believe she lost interest in me because of this weekend, and as i latter found out before this weekend she was on a trip with her ex boyfriend l(dated for 7,5 years), so she had mixed feelings and my ED helped her choose...
Anyhow im broken-hearted now. However shes not posting pictures with him for some reason...Also she keeps playing hot and cold games with me, she texts me sometimes, sometimes she is talking to me in the learning room for no reason just to stay in touch, and sometimes she pretends i don't exist.
So be aware with whom you can share your problem with.
As i said i masturbated for 5 times since than, i haven't watched porn though since november 16th...Im on a hard mode for 30 days now...
Im broken, flat lined i take antidepresivs...
God i want her back, and also will it help to try have sex to someone else in the meanwhile or should i stay in a hard mode for as long as i can?