Hey inspiring guys and girls.
My background with Porn, pretty much every since I knew myself over 20 years.
I've been suffering from PIED.
My Porn addiction started with normal to very hardcore and bing binge to jerk off 4 - 5 times a day till deathgrip.
Each time I was jerking off I was edging like crazy, sometimes over an hour.
My brain was so wired to Porn that each encounter with a real woman ended up with the worst experience ever, I was completely desinsatized down there.
Long story short that impacted on me so badly, so you can imagine my confidence went straight to Zero .
From that point on I really developed very timed personality towards people, social awkwardness and anxiety.
Long story short three years ago I met a girl that completely was so genuine and best girlfriend that anyone would ever asked for.
Few months after she agreed to go traveling with me to the end of the world ( Patagonia)
We're together for the first month and half helping me to adjust the new culture and the backpacking lifestyle.
Btw I always hided my addiction using erection pills.
So my di... Was fine but numbed.
After the month and half she went back home and we both agreed to stay together (long distance relationship).
Because I was very addicted to porn to fight this disease, traveling from hostel to hostel was the best solution to overcome all the triggers and rewire to the real thing.
After being abstain from Porn and masturbation and orgazma for almost 5 months I flew back home to see my Ex.
When I saw my ex girlfriend, I remember that every sexual experience that we had my dick was so sensitive and like a steel.
I almost cried when I saw the distinguish from being on Porn to being rewired back to real people.
Unfortunately the chaser was greater then me so everytime we had sex I made her speak very dirty that went bad and agrassive that I was only able to maintain my Erection only with my fatish (which was inherited from Porn)
So I become Sex Addict and Always looking for Ercerction validation, so you can imagine I always asked for more without real feeling and love.
At the end she couldn't take it cause my personality was so demanding and control freak and needy that she couldn't take it anymore and we broke up.
After being away from Porn over almost 3 years I relapsed 2 months ago for 2 days in a row for more then 4 times to sexy pic.
Till I noticed that I got back my premature ejaculation, which made me cut off again the Porn and mostrabation.
I don't have any urge to go back to Porn anymore
but my biggest problem now is that I replaced my bad addiction to another bad addiction which is
Online Dating.
My incentive is to meet real people but everytime some girl came along, I realized that I have high expectations and keep checking my account obsessively to see whether she replied back (fuc.... Needy) which somehow the energy that I transmit turns to failure.
Now we're in Covid and I really wanna meet genuine woman but at the same time I wanna get back my rewiring to real touch, to my senaetivty down there and my crazy steel Erections.
My goal is 9 months hardmode but the same time wanna meet amazing woman.
What should I do ?
My background with Porn, pretty much every since I knew myself over 20 years.
I've been suffering from PIED.
My Porn addiction started with normal to very hardcore and bing binge to jerk off 4 - 5 times a day till deathgrip.
Each time I was jerking off I was edging like crazy, sometimes over an hour.
My brain was so wired to Porn that each encounter with a real woman ended up with the worst experience ever, I was completely desinsatized down there.
Long story short that impacted on me so badly, so you can imagine my confidence went straight to Zero .
From that point on I really developed very timed personality towards people, social awkwardness and anxiety.
Long story short three years ago I met a girl that completely was so genuine and best girlfriend that anyone would ever asked for.
Few months after she agreed to go traveling with me to the end of the world ( Patagonia)
We're together for the first month and half helping me to adjust the new culture and the backpacking lifestyle.
Btw I always hided my addiction using erection pills.
So my di... Was fine but numbed.
After the month and half she went back home and we both agreed to stay together (long distance relationship).
Because I was very addicted to porn to fight this disease, traveling from hostel to hostel was the best solution to overcome all the triggers and rewire to the real thing.
After being abstain from Porn and masturbation and orgazma for almost 5 months I flew back home to see my Ex.
When I saw my ex girlfriend, I remember that every sexual experience that we had my dick was so sensitive and like a steel.
I almost cried when I saw the distinguish from being on Porn to being rewired back to real people.
Unfortunately the chaser was greater then me so everytime we had sex I made her speak very dirty that went bad and agrassive that I was only able to maintain my Erection only with my fatish (which was inherited from Porn)
So I become Sex Addict and Always looking for Ercerction validation, so you can imagine I always asked for more without real feeling and love.
At the end she couldn't take it cause my personality was so demanding and control freak and needy that she couldn't take it anymore and we broke up.
After being away from Porn over almost 3 years I relapsed 2 months ago for 2 days in a row for more then 4 times to sexy pic.
Till I noticed that I got back my premature ejaculation, which made me cut off again the Porn and mostrabation.
I don't have any urge to go back to Porn anymore
but my biggest problem now is that I replaced my bad addiction to another bad addiction which is
Online Dating.
My incentive is to meet real people but everytime some girl came along, I realized that I have high expectations and keep checking my account obsessively to see whether she replied back (fuc.... Needy) which somehow the energy that I transmit turns to failure.
Now we're in Covid and I really wanna meet genuine woman but at the same time I wanna get back my rewiring to real touch, to my senaetivty down there and my crazy steel Erections.
My goal is 9 months hardmode but the same time wanna meet amazing woman.
What should I do ?