Merry Christmas to everyone who is reading this, I hope that everyone is having a good one.
Overall a good day, But earlier I thought I could handle watching a documentary on Netflix with my Brother, turns out there were triggers and I started to panic, I struggle to watch TV with women on in a normal way because I am so used to seeing women in porn. Luckily I managed to stop watching it early and I have stayed clean so far which is good, my usual pattern is see trigger, panic, and see binging to porn as the only solution. I know how damaging and undignified to my self that is, and that accepting what has happened and moving on is the thing which is in my best interest. Tonight will probably be difficult because what I call my 'primal self' will be thinking about that moment, but I will embrace that will love and affirmation to get through tonight.
Overall an average but productive day. Did some chores, work and did a workout at the gym in the evening. Mood wise I have felt pretty flat and numb, but I have faith that my mood will improve the further I get into my reboot.
Not a great day. Got back from band practice mid afternoon and didn't have a clue what to do with the rest of my day, the chaser was strong and I ended up binge relapsing unfortunately. Gonna do a retroactive self talk and try to learn from my mistake.