Keep feeling like I'm not good enough

Gambitchco

Active Member
I've come to realise that my confidence goes up when I don't care what people think about me. Especially with dating, the more conscious I was of my worth, the less confident I became. When I am just being myself without fearing people's opinions, I am sure of who I am and that makes me confident. So I guess the secret to confidence, for me, is to simply remind myself that I am happy with being who I am and that as long as I am good enough for me, that's really the best I can be. I know I sound a little convoluted here, but I hope you get what I mean. HOw do youcope usually, anyone who had experience the same thing?
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
It's good to know who you are because I've been trying to understand who I am for over 50 years and I'm no nearer the answer. If anything, the answer to the question become more and more distant and my idea of who I am seems to be dissolving.

Everybody is different, so these are just my opinions, to be tossed away as mere ramblings or to be taken on board and reflected upon. We each have a choice, although not necessarily free will to choose.

I don't much care what people think about me because even if someone is complimentary there is no way I can know if they are telling the truth. I tell my partner that I love her, but how does she really know? She can't. She tells me she loves me and I can never know if it's really true. I simply accept that she says she does and the only thing I can do is to live with the illusion I have created that I believe she loves me. It's all just in our heads. All of reality is just in our heads.

We can't control how other people feel about us. Even the people who love us. My partner is sometimes angry and frustrated with me. Should I change who I am to accommodate her? I don't think so because the things she finds pleasant or unpleasant are always in flux. Never change to meet changes. That said, everything is always changing and the idea of security and stability is just an illusion.

So, I think you're right to say that "as long as I'm good enough for me, that's really the best I can be".

It's strange because the more I think about it, the more concrete my certainty that there is no meaning to life becomes. We have no road map for life and for happiness. Look at people like Trump in the US and Johnson in the UK. They have obtained their life goals and they don't appear to be very happy. If anything, those two examples crave adulation, not only from one person, but from millions of people. It must be like a living hell.

For me personally, I get up and try to do something positive for people. I'm not always successful. Sometimes doing a good deed brings about a bad consequence for someone. As long as your motivation is pure, as long as you're trying to be selfless, then I think peace of mind stems from this.

Just my 2 cents worth.
 

Gambitchco

Active Member
mousemat1 said:
For me personally, I get up and try to do something positive for people. I'm not always successful. Sometimes doing a good deed brings about a bad consequence for someone. As long as your motivation is pure, as long as you're trying to be selfless, then I think peace of mind stems from this.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I really appreciate it, and I'm happy that somehow, someone understands me. I will not forget this that you've shared here, and perhaps, I will apply this too as I go on with my life.
 

Gambitchco

Active Member
Yes and to add up last night as I was thinking and reading some stuff, I stumbled in this article to help how to cope. And I thought of sharing this one too. Ready this one - https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/mental-health-non-healthcare.html
 

Gambitchco

Active Member
Yes that si right, love yourself first. We can't control how other people feel about us. Even the people who love us
 

Aussie_85

Active Member
CapoReboot said:
Eliminate those people who cause emotional damage to you.

100% bro.

This might sound completely fucked, for me personally when I hit age 30 - I decided fuck it. If people don't like me I'll cut them off straight away - no abuse ,no argument - ghosted. This shocks people to surprised and even scared reactions. At my old job there was heaps of bitching behind peoples backs, nasty shit - I'd just straight up look them in the eye and say "I don't really care man, I'm here for a paycheque" people are not used t that, most are people pleasers and follow the flock.

A huge one for me is also realising my own mortality, what will peoples opinions of me or rejections matter in 60 years max when I'm dead? So I have nothing to lose.

Your/ My life is ours, take it - respect and treat others with love and respect and don't hesitate to ghost people instantly if they're hatin'.
 
Top