My Reboot Journal - 2020


My Reboot Journal

Hello, I am 23 years old and I have been addicted since my fasting age. I am not a good english speaker but I'll do my best.

Little story: I started when I came across it at a very young
age in a grown-up's phone and I haven't gotten rid of it since.

At the high school, I spent entire nights downloading just that with friends.
Very spaced clean periods, months.
Last year was still good.

I am a student, no girlfriend and too involved in a lot of commitments. At the point where I go out around 7 am I come home around 9 pm almost every day except Sunday. I don't entertain myself very often, no sport. As a family, we don't talk about sexuality.
I have a very strict, really stressful parents.

This year it's just chaos, I relapse every month from March until last night. I was clean every 2 weeks then fell back. And when I fell back I stayed there a little longer than before in terms of hours and days but with a lot more hard.
I lamented so much about myself,  I was practically paralyzed on the physical level (not too much going out), intellectual, social (I feel like I am losing my friendships), etc. I suspended some of my activities, telling myself that I was not worth it.

I often watch on the phone (I recently have free Internet), rarely on a machine. I don't like to watch the same video twice. So when I came back to surf I got tired of seeing the same videos. So I watched tons of it.

I tried several methods without success (actually when I got clean, well I gave up my measurements).
I even thought of extremist methods (No longer using the internet or the phone) but hey, I got back to reality.
I have 2 young girls who I like to be with at the University. I intend to go out with one of them.
I read a lot about NOFAP, even the statistics.
I know the consequences but lately it's like this I'm not even afraid of it anymore.

Some symptoms

- lack of discipline
- not too social
- Decreased attention, memory (I start to forget quickly and it starts to be noticed by everyone), decrease in self-esteem
- Difficulty making a decision, it frustrates me then I spend a long time until chance decides or I make a hasty decision.

My goal: I want to be clean firstly for three months ( 90 days )

- I don't want to waste my life like that, whether it's health, my relationships, my studies, my future family, etc.

- Recover my relationship with God
- Be clean throughout the next year
- Gain self-confidence
- Maintain a real romantic relationship
- Succeed in my studies
- Why not in a longer time help people to come out as well as me.

My plan :
1st Step: Clean four a month (January)
- Studing
- Draw up a certain number of principles, preventive measures, Circumstances that trigger them
- Evaluate every evening

I don't know where to start, so your tested advices will help me a lot.

But I have this strong conviction that with this program I will do better results.



Active Member
Hey Robert7M! I started my recovery journal on this forum a few weeks ago and it has been a big help. Part of the reason I'm doing this is also because I converted to Christianity, so I'm trying my best now to drop PMO. Since you're just starting a streak, I highly recommend trying Strive21. It's a 21-day free program that guides a person through their first 21 days of no P. I still use it even after my first 21 days, and just restart it. It has a lot of great material and I've found it very helpful.


Hi ! Thanks for the advice. Where can I find it? If you have it you can just send it to me or leave the link here.

Thank you in advance !

Phineas 808

Staff member
Welcome, Robert! I like that you have a plan, at least it's a start!

I'm also a believer, and if you need that perspective in your reboot/recovery, hit me up any time!

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
Robert7M said:
Hi ! Thanks for the advice. Where can I find it? If you have it you can just send it to me or leave the link here.

Thank you in advance !

Just go on . it's been very helpful to me also.

And welcome Robert, I'd be following your Journal now, wishing you good luck. Always remember this, Everything is possible if you out your mind to it.

The one advice to is to renew your mind and free yourself of all the lies porn keeps telling you. Start by reading books about it, surrounding yourself like you're doing now with the rightnoeol6, oeik8who are trying to quit. And making adjustments as you learn about your addiction.

I also recomm you read this article here by Phineas

And also the first page of his Journal. There are so many helpful info there and books etc.

Keep pushing back



I am on day 03/90

I will not be a lesson giver but I will just want to share a few points that I have seen.

Already, these few days all my thoughts, my dreams were full of them. But, Today on the other hand in my dream I was able to show will and to refuse that in my dream.

But also I know that the number 4 (4th day, 8th day, 16th day are days when our body is going to be really lacking), so bcp more attention and extreme measures maybe.

My 90 Days Clean Plan

1st Stage 1 day Clean
2nd Stage 1 Clean Week
3rd Stage 1 Month Clean
4th step 3 Months clean

My plan I think it will still be effective since I intend to challenge myself every day, every day I will wake up to tell myself, today I will be clean. It's easier if you have 80 days left! TODAY I WILL BE CLEAN SIMPLY

My weapon

- I joined a Bible reading program for 1 year
- I will read the Bible every day and pray morning and evening, if I have time at (6 a.m., 12 p.m., 6 p.m., 11 p.m. or 12 a.m., strategic time of the devil's attacks).
- Internet I limited to 80mb / day, the necessary for facebook, whatsapp, mail, rebootnation,
- No videos (no films, nothing) instead of reading my course notes, Bible
- Better Hygiene of life: wash myself minumum in the morning and before sleeping,
- Before Slepping evaluating the journey and project the following one.

- The emotional stimulus I haven't found yet, but prayer helps me a lot.

- I plan to do physical exercises (just a few push-ups only at first), other sports may ask me a lot of time.
- Today I took a break to have a good time with a friend.


One thought, I thought to myself porn is like fecal matter, if a person eats it surely they are not aware of it or either they are aware of it but are addicted in the sense of bewitching. The way to get out of it and be delivered from it (moment of personal prayer and / or with others), to be informed about it, to desire ababon it and to cultivate to be disgusted by it (not of sex but of PMO, I specify) I mean to develop the fear of God. Arrive in that stade that you can HATE regarding PMO.

In the old days, before I committed a sin, my heart beat a lot. For a few months now I have not felt it anymore, but I pray that God still grants me his grace of his spirit, otherwise it will be very very difficult alone. And in my prayers, I always leave 5-10min to listen to God, sometimes he speaks, sometimes not. Yesterday it was a dream that I received, I was somewhere a girl primed me for sex and I refused.
The other measures also have their place!

Result : More confident, I am fealing better than the day - 0.
My memory is better than before.

I will not be able to publish here each day, but I'll do my best.

Thank you for your support, let me too in your prayers.

I will also pray for you.



Active Member
Hey Robert, it's great that you have a plan! As you noted in your plan, I've found that having a consistent and good sleep schedule is very important. Feeling tired and run down is a big source of temptation for me. I hope you do well in the coming days! I'll be praying for your recovery.

Phineas 808

Staff member
Good plan with promising disciplines, and no room for sneaky social media use.

As long as you take back control from the external (places, things, circumstances) and place it back in the hands of the internal (yourself), with God's help, you'll see this thing change.

I wish you success with your plan and your journey.


Thank you. How about you, Phineas?

Today I am on day 5/90 of my reboot.
I feel a little anxious and not very well.

And for my memory, it still plays tricks on me. But let continue with the program.

At night I had a dream, I was not the strongest.
I notice that I can control my physical will very well but for the thought it will come little by little.

I believe the SEVRAGE is starting!

Yeterday, I watched a cartoon and I also noticed that even when I watch a cartoon I am so immersed and frozen in it that I spend hours there. No movies, no series.
I think I will also remove even cartoons.

I have a bad mood, I will try to decrease the tension either by going out to chat with people.

I think I wil be off from monday to wednesday for praying.
I will make you know after completing my first step, 7 days clean.

Souhaitez moi bonne chance !!

Leave me in your prayers and your advice is welcome !!



Hi !

I am on Day 14/90

I feel good, I am no longer anxious. I know the evil is not far away, I focus on what is good. I still have images in my thoughts, but less frequent and less priming. My dreams are clean. My contact with others is reestablished. Pretty confident. Today I felt this strong desire to get back to it. I started to follow a sermon. Day 4 syndrom, it looks like.

Some things that can help you to end with it
It just what I have constated and what I learnt about PMO.

If you really want to get out of this, try reading this entire article and sticking to it. And you will tell me results.

1. Become aware and know the misdeeds Galatians 6,6-9
If today you haven't seen anything yet, sooner or later the consequences will come, either on you (spirit, soul, body), or on your children or your family

The consequences exist. They can be reversible or irreversible. Get it in your mind.

Always commit to getting out of it before it's too late or you leave important things there.

2. Take barrier measures Prov 22.3. See evil from afar and flee. Avoid too isolated places, avoid being anxious, avoid browsing off-peak hours, clicking on ads, browsing aimlessly.

3. Replace bad habits with good ones. Let yourself be guided by the principles of the word of God. Also take time for sports, reading, chatting with friends.

Do focuse on the bad things, or your relapse. Focus on good things.

4. Share with a trusted person, Jacques 5, 16 a brother or sister who can encourage you. He will be your advisor, he will be able to control you and ask you questions about it frequently, every week. Create time to spend with friends.

5. Avoid temptation. I Cor 10, 8-13.
if you feel primed, call out, sleep, flee. Tell a friend. Stop your phone.

6. Get up immediately after a relapse
It can happen to fall again. Raise you up, God has come to save those who are lost and not those who are righteous. Do not blame you, God loves you with it despite everything. A child falls over a thousand times before walking.
But the consequences are not erased, they can be irreversible.

7. Do not trample on grace. Not to say to yourself, I am doing it again only for this last time. Maybe it will be the worst of bad days. You still won't take a poison knowing that the antidote is nearby? What if he missed this time ??

8. Be Resolute, committed. Make the decision. Some give up on the way. Don't relax. Be revolted! The kingdom of heaven is forced. Matt 11.12
. No one will do it for you. Either you want to get out or you don't want to get out. Choose.

9. Meditate daily Rom 1,16;
it is from the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. if we fall so frequently, one of the causes is that our interior is filled with sexual thoughts, primed all the time. Change your way of thinking, know that PMO kills our mind (relationship with God, front door of demons, curses, punishments, hell), kills our soul (emotion, intelligence, discernment), kills our body (somatic diseases: impotence, sexual dissorders, etc.) and kills our social relations (dismissal, break-up, getting caught, egocentrism, etc.).

10. - Take the time to pray daily, even just a few minutes. Ps 119, 36-37. Also make prayers statements about your life. It helps to condition your mind and soul. Also pray when you feel yourself primed.

11. No hateful ordeal that has arisen has been superhuman. You can do it. A few clicks from this forum you will see people who have been able to get rid of it. I remember days before I was baited I was dreaming about this and prepared to avoid it.

12. Do not hide behind the forum or the encouragement to continue engaging in it. Get out of this thing that's destroying your life.

This is what helps me and it works.
If you really want to get out of this, try reading this entire article and sticking to it. And you will tell me results.

May the Lord accompany you.

Salutations !


Active Member
Wow that's a very helpful list, thanks bro. It's great to see you preserving and finding progress, it seems like you have a handle on things! I'll be praying for you brother, we all can recover through the hope He provides!

Phineas 808

Staff member
I like your list, Robert7M!

Good job on laying out the principles that help you (and now others), and walking them out!

Good on you, and blessings.


Hello, I just came back at the thing.
And it's worse than the last few times! A whole day stuck on it ...
It's very difficult de s'en d?barasser !
I'm starting to lose hope !

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
Congrats on 2 weeks Robert. Great to see how you're handling your recovery and putting things into perspective.

In retrospect, your last message suggest that you might have relpased. I just want to encourage you to dust yourself up. Don't beat up yourself too much. It's part of the process. Draw near to God now even when you're feeliing away, read Psalms 51 and start again.
Understand why you relpase and rework your system.

You need to be persistent. Persistence is the key


Hello, I think I will do so.
Sometimes I feel like I'm on autopilot, so much that it's loud, I can't resist.
I don't know why I don't close this window outright when I'm booting.



Hi !

I know it's been a long time since I wrote here.

Today I fell back after 17 days without PO.

I was in a prayer staff, during those times everything was fine, but as soon as I quit since I was starting the session, and the stress of the session, I fell back.

I make up my mind that I'm going to talk to a physician or a pastor about it to accompany me to overcome it. So far I've only spoken to this group, no one else.

I had decided not to write for a while so that this thing would not become my identity, but now I notice that it was not used much.

Your opinions and advice will be welcome !


Day 0/1

New Program

- Instead of the program that I post before and I think that :

- I will do my best to post and to read even a message each day.
- My objectif will be like that :

1.  Clean for One day,
2. Clean for 3 days,
3. Clean for a week and
4. Clean for 2 week
5. Clean for a month (30days)

- I'll associate reading, praying, studing, talking with friends, encouraging those who want to stop with P, reading the page of whom succeed for encouraging my self.
- I'll make an simple idea of my program the night before.

Till now, I had only totalize about 20 days free, not a month.

I wanted also to say that these days I was feeling well about my christian life, my school goes well also, I am passing my examinations, but my thoughts are focus on girls, sex and else.

What Can I do ? Your advices will help me.

Salutations !


Active Member
Hey Robert!

Welcome back! My best advice for that I think is to do some self-reflection as to the triggers of those thoughts and build habits that help you to avoid the triggers. I've found that the best way to avoid thoughts are to have other, better thoughts! Try engaging in something you care about or basically anything that will captivate your attention; video games, sports, exercise, television, etc. Some of it I think you just have to grit your teeth and endure through, it's an inevitable part of being a young man and especially young men like ourselves who are recovering from P. I hope that helps! And sure we can be accountable partners. I'll try to read your posts often and respond. I post on my journal daily.


Day 1[\b]

Hello !

Today, I don't feel very well, a little tired, a headache, my mouth seems to be dry, despite having taken glasses of water.

My exam still went well. Tomorrow I will take another exam. I had a pretty good day.

I intend for this evening to take time to rest a little, then to start reading to prepare for my exam.


Thanks for your encouragements.

Hey, wordlit4213, thank you because you accepted to be my partner of responsabiliy. I'll read your journal too.

Greatings !