My recovery journal! Always strive, never settle 💪🏼

DrJay33

New Member
Hey crew!

Today is day 2 of cutting the ties for good. I was shown pornography at age 8, and struggled weekly for almost 15 years between the ages of 15-26 with viewing and masturbating. I was the only one in my friend group who thought this was abnormal- some part of my mind and soul knew that this wasn?t how God designed people to live...constantly sexually engaged and enticed. I married my high school sweetheart at age 21, and sadly divorced at age 25 when she told me of an affair she had with one of my good friends. While her actions were wrong, one thing she told me as things were finalized is that she viewed my occasional use of pornography as cheating on her. Those words have stuck with me since.

Immediately after the divorce I quit cold turkey, went almost three months without using- my longest streak ever. Then I went on a date for the first time, and relapsed as soon as I got home due to the stress. Once again, I was right back in the cycle, weekly use and no end in sight.

Fast forward, now I am 28 and ready to get engaged! I told my loving partner my struggle, and she showed me nothing but grace and love. We have had a wonderful sex life, but this past week I started using again on occasion as the stress of getting ready to marry her has brought back some old triggers. I began to notice that occasionally I would lose my erection during intercourse, and decided to figure out why. I am convinced that porn has polluted my brain and is trying to regain a hold of it- and I refuse to let that happen!

So today is another official line in the sand- I will reboot and I will recover! The human will is capable of power beyond our imagination, and I will not let another day go by where I let something as low and dirty as pornography rob me of the riches this world has to offer me!

Take charge and take back your life friends, and consider me another ally along the way! ??
 

DrJay33

New Member
One week in and have completely PM free!! It?s been incredibly impactful to my physical, emotional and sexual health and can?t stress enough how great it is to not struggle with intimacy. It?s clear how polluting pornography is, and how even just 7 days free has shown me the potential peace I can know. Keep fighting y?all, it?s worth it!
 

Shaka99

Member
Hi Jay,

Glad to hear you are feeling fine in your first week. I have tried reboot some times in the past, but right now Im decided to change my life and as you said take back my life.

I'll be reading you my friend.
 

DrJay33

New Member
Hey guys!

big update: I relapsed after 33 days...and have been trying to keep a streak longer than two weeks going on and off for the last few months. I keep letting life stress (I’m a resident physician and my schedule has been insane with Covid) get me down.

anyway...just got married last week and am determined to ride this high forward and get back to that place of mental peace and physical calm. Thanks for those who have written here and other places... it really helps!
 
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