Time to get back my life

CB

Active Member
This is a great read, and this is definitely what we have to expect in recovering from this addiction.
It WILL take time, it can send the most of you into a panic state thinking about that this can take years to overcome. But it for some of us it will.
Heck it took me almost two years to stop thinking about tobacco/cigarettes and dip when I quit it years ago. But the feeling of beeing free from it just was wonderful feeling. I?m willing to wake up feeling I?m not spending any more time in my head considering pmo or sexting. That is my goal now.

Well, read it. I think reading up on addiction in general is really good.

https://www.psychcentral.com/blog/sex-addiction/2014/09/why-sex-addiction-recovery-takes-a-long-time-and-one-possible-exception
 

scott.84

Member
I totally agree on your statements concerning addiction. Used to smoke too and remember how long I was unable to get rid of it. And congrats for completing 8 days without PMO :)
Just want to add one more thing: Even though it might take long to fully recover, always keep in mind (not just you but also everyone else here): It gets better every day. It gets better every time you refuse to give in. All of these "little" achievements will eventually add up to a big success. Every step towards your goal is worth noting and being proud of.
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
CB said:
This is a great read, and this is definitely what we have to expect in recovering from this addiction.
It WILL take time, it can send the most of you into a panic state thinking about that this can take years to overcome. But it for some of us it will.
Heck it took me almost two years to stop thinking about tobacco/cigarettes and dip when I quit it years ago. But the feeling of beeing free from it just was wonderful feeling. I?m willing to wake up feeling I?m not spending any more time in my head considering pmo or sexting. That is my goal now.

Well, read it. I think reading up on addiction in general is really good.

https://www.psychcentral.com/blog/sex-addiction/2014/09/why-sex-addiction-recovery-takes-a-long-time-and-one-possible-exception

I only found the last part useful because I think I only suffer from pron addiction I guess.
 

CB

Active Member
Scott.84 you are absolutely right about the achievements. Everytime we turn down our impulses or thoughts of pmo is a win.

Akpal2 Yes, everyone of us have different ways in how the addiction plays out, everyone different but still the same in som ways. :)

Day 9 is done. Man today has been a challenge, really bad withdrawal cravings for pmo or sexting. I found myself lurking around instagram and looking at some girls.. But I managed pretty quickly to stop myself. But it triggered me bad and really made my cravings really tough to deal with.
Looking at girls on fb or insta from now on is me starting my mental edging, and I can?t have that.
Hard mode it is, but as I said, fighting towards my goal.

 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Well done CB, that's some will power, be careful with tomorrow because you will be mentally tired tomorrow because of all the fight you have put in today. Be careful and don't slip up.
 

CB

Active Member
Thanks a lot akpal2 that?s some truly wise words! Thanks for your advise, I will stay alert. Eventhough it?s mentally tiring, but with every step comes something good too, eventough the road is long.
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
CB in my experience, and I have plenty in this crap having recovered once, getting past this tiring phase is a huge step. When you can fight these off being mentally tired for days on end, you come out significantly stronger in my experience. Of of course, it also means there is significant danger here because it becomes easy to give in because of exhaustion. So know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just don't give in.
 

CB

Active Member
10 days in the books

I?m happy that I?ve been able to avoid looking at girls on fb or insta. It?s been  one of the thinfs I?ve been doing for more than a decade. And it?s one of my things I?ve been doing, kind of like mental edging and fantasizing.. I need to avoid that to keep myself from failing with pmo or sexting.

akpal2 yes that?s so true, I?m hanging in there trying to keep myself aware of the pitfalls.
 

scott.84

Member
Good start, CB 8)
I've come to the conclusion, that all that social media and online dating stuff is somewhat crappy, too. It takes away our time that we could use to meet real people. Or at least do stuff that actually moves us forward in life. Since I have a family filter on my PC (which I primarily installed to prevent me to browse for porn when not being in control of myself), I can't use dating platforms as well. So as a side effect, I waste much less time with online dating which I consider to be a good thing. Tbh, most of the sexting that happens there never leads to actual sex. So why not just leave it out?
 

CB

Active Member
Scott I totally agree on that one, they are just a bad place to be as a recovering sex/porn addict. It?s better we try and spend time with real people as you say.
They all are ment to become addictive as well, so it is not good for someone who already got an cyber kind of addiction.

Day 11 finished yesterday. I feel like I got no lust for sex or libido at all, and I feel bad about it towards my gf. I know it comes and goes, and I really want to make love to her in bed also. But I guess the being without pmo or sexting for 10 days + this kind of withdrawals start to take place. Feeling low and tired, and just empty.. But I know it will take time. But at least I?m on my way. I?ve had it with my bad behavior with pmo/sexting..

I need to work on my intimacy issues, pmo has just been an escape from it for all of these years. 20 years of pmo almost every day.. I feel as I?m in another kind of mood this time when I quit. Last time when I was free for about 1 and a half year I missed pmo badly. This time I don?t really miss it, yet..
Well I?m going to stay alert for the triggers that I don?t need.
 
Hi!

I think the same, social media or gaming or sexting can be a not very healthy substitute for pmo, in the sense that it reinforces the same pathways.

Is better to stay off. I limit myself to 15 minutes a day on fb and Instagram each. I prefer to read or play my instrument.

Best guys
 

CB

Active Member
alain Yes that?s true. I?ve also started to limit myself with the use of fb and insta. It makes it easier to avoid the triggers as much as possible right now.. But today has felt much easier than previous days. But it is a rollercoaster for sure.

I feel like I?ve never been more motivated to end this addiction than before, I truly hope it keeps that way down the line. The people around me and most importantly myself doesn?t need a lying and bad person around.

Day 12 finished
 

CB

Active Member
Day 13 is finished

Had some triggers after exercising today, went in the shower and started to have fantasies about pmo, but I stopped it fairly fast. But after that it?s been a little more tempting to fantasize, but haven?t spent any time doing that. I?ve had a flash of my health anxiety flairing up, and I had thoughts about pmo to stop the anxiety. But I?ve rode it out actually, Need to stay in the now with my feelings. I can?t escape all the feelings anymore, like I?ve done with pmo and sexting.
Numbing myself is not an option anymore.
 

CB

Active Member
Day 14 is done

Triggers have been stronger today, there was an urge that was quite strong earlier today. It?s difficult when you go back to old thinking patterns like allowing yourself to relapse, like most of us do. It?s probably happened a couple of hundred times for me before I?ve decided to really go hard mode.
I think I?ll probably have to get some counselling and or joining some SAA phone or video meetings.
It?ll probably be necessary to keep me from going back. And keep me sober.. I don?t want to go in to a binge anymore, it really destroys my sex life with my gf. I don?t want that anymore.

Well as of now, I can only hang in there.
 

CB

Active Member
Day 15

Today has been tougher, when I went for a shower I started this reasoning in my head about masturbating in the shower, fantasies flared up and I just took some good deep breaths and stopped myself in my head. I didn?t touch myself but I know what happens if I would have wound up having an orgasm.
It would be really tough after that would have happened with not relapsing. It?s not time for any masturbating yet in quite a while for me. I need to spend that energy on my gf.
 

CB

Active Member
Day 16

Have been checking in on my local SAA website to get information about their online meetings. Something I?ll try, I think I need it in a longterm way. Have been having some short urges today, but pretty strong ones. But I try my hardest to give them less time in my head and body. It?s like a pressure in my chest when I get the urges. Feels just like when I was quitting tobacco. Same feeling in my chest, and irritable mood.
I?m proud I?ve made it this far though. Every small step is worth cheerish.

 

CB

Active Member
Day 17 finished

Today has been a lot more stressful because of work. And I have been having a lot more anxiety creeping on today. Felt tempted to MO in the shower, but I didn?t do it. I need some time away from it before I start doing it maybe once a week or once every two weeks. To start with, until I can handle it. I know how it only makes things more difficult in the beginning after going clean from months of binging.
Just holding on and going with the it right now, for better or worse. Need to learn how to cope with my feelings without numbing myself with pmo or sexting.
 

CB

Active Member
18 days done

I?ve noticed I?ve got no libido right now, I don?t feel like I want to have sex eventhough I?d love that with my gf. But this is part of recovery, just like last time I quit. It will come back slowly.. There?s no need to be worrying about my erections right now. Last time I quit it only made me relapse, because I worried so much about dick feeling dead. And as I basically always been and still struggling with OCD and ADHD my ROCD flare up real bad, it?s something I?ll work on besides the addiction. It is probably one of the reasons behind me seeking a flight into pmo and sexting to escape the anxiety and emotions it brings.

It is tough, but it will get better.
 

CB

Active Member
Almost 20 days as of now

Have been keeping busy today, writing and doing hobby stuff. Felt great, having some off-time from my phone. Been out in the sun and surprising my gf with some stuff today.
Triggers this morning, but I was fast to put my mind on something else.
 

CB

Active Member
21 days done

Have been keeping myself busy, sitting down and listening to records. I?ve notice my general anxiety has been worse. And my OCD and health anxiety. Trying to snap out of it.

This far, my advice for myself and you who battle.

1.Redirect focus when triggers come up.

2.Don?t give them time to build up strength and make the urge bad.

3.Keep focused on the goal, small steps and make a plan for the future, how to keep comitting.

4.Relapsing is part of recovery, just make sure to not give up.



 
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