Time to get back my life

CB

Active Member
Day 22 finished

Emotions have been flaring a little the last days, but right now withdrawal is definitely not as bad as it was the last time. But I will join a SAA skype meeting next week for the first time, I?ll sit in and listen. I know I won?t make it in the long run if I?m not getting any counseling.
 

CB

Active Member
25 days

Last days I?ve been struck by anxiety and an irritable mood. Snapping for small things.. The urge has been a little higher, and it?s tough not to fall back in old patterns. Like looking at girls on fb or instagram. But I have been able to stop myself.
No morning wood or nothing right now, absolutely no libido. I guess it will come back like the last time I quit. Last time it took months for my libido show up maybe once or twice a month.
I can?t worry about that too much because it could end up in ?trying? if it works.. Been there too many times before.

Keep fighting
 

CB

Active Member
27 days

Feeling worried and restless. More anxious than before.. I had a couple of fantasies today and urge was stronger to give in. But I?m glad to say I haven?t given up. I try to focus on something else each time a trigger or the urge gets stronger.

 

CB

Active Member
30 days done

Felt like it was impossible at the start of it.. I?m definitely going to make it 30 more. Day by day, sometimes it?s minute by minute, even second by second to fight off the temptations in my mind. TRIGGER WARNING! Flashes of videos I?ve watched and sexting. I know even writing the words makes my addicted me to get excited..
I haven?t joined the SAA yet, but it?s on the to do list. Trying to make myself have less screen time on my phone, a little by little. Internet is a big problem when it comes to things like addiction and making anxiety worse. Worrying about my health is not getting any better googling symptoms..
I see it a little in the same way as with P, it only prolongs the problem and makes it worse.

 

CB

Active Member
34 days

Feeling really depressed, having loads of anxiety and today was really bad with the strong urge that hit me with fantasies. But I managed to make it through. It is really hard when I?m feeling down and anxious.
 

CB

Active Member
Day 37

I?ve been having stronger urges today and the last days. Flashback pictures and clips.. My brain trying to hook me back again. I?ve been standing fast to even not watching pictures of girls on insta and fb. I got rid of the fb app actually.. Feels good to get my internet wired brain a little rest from some things and apps. Trying to limit my phone use as well each week, I?ll get a schedule for when I?m allowed to fiddle with my phone. Otherwise I?ll do hobbies and read a little and watch tv, walks and excersising.

It feels so endless in the beginning like this. My brain coming at me with thoughts like.. ?you?ll nevet get rid of the weird p fetishes? or ?You?ll never make it?.

Well, I?ve had it with that stuff, and that?s why I?m here on day 37.
Hope you guys are doing alright, keep at it no matter how bad it feels, it?s worth every minute being less drawn to that sick industry that?s been doing money on other peoples decay..
 
Keep up man!! You're doing great!!

Don't listen to that part of your brain, just wants a dump of dopamine, you know what is good for you
 

CB

Active Member
alain said:
Keep up man!! You're doing great!!

Don't listen to that part of your brain, just wants a dump of dopamine, you know what is good for you

Thanks alain!

Day 39 right now.

I got a app in appstore on my iphone. It?s called ?I am sober? it is really good, and it has helped me in tracking my days sober. I highly recommend it to all of you, it?s totally free and you can customize it for your own scheduled help mate in getting reminded in the morning why you do this and come back and write down how your day was.

I?ve definitely felt more anxious and irritable last week. Normally I?d go to pmo or sexting when feeling like that, but I have been really determined I need to go through those feelings instead of pushing them away.
 
Yes, I use an app called rewire companion, which keeps track of my progress and gives statistics. So I can see that in the last 3 months I watched porn every 11 days. And also that I am more likely to fall on Sundays. So I can be extra careful.

Guy, 39 days is a long way, I never made it that far, I totally admire you. Anxiety is hitting me hard, but I got some cold showers to turn that down. I'm also using some mental tricks from stoic philosophy. Any tool which can help. Beating the addiction is my absolute goal, nothing is more important right now, I thin that is the mindset.

Peace
 

CB

Active Member
42 days right now

Today and yesterday was pretty hard. But I?m not going to slip again, it?s just not going to happen. I?m looking forward to being sober for the rest of my life, and not let P have it?s ways with my brain anymore.
I just try to think about all the bad consequences of me using P, and it really helps in keeping me commited.

Thanks man! You?re not far behind, you?ll make it too.
That?s really good alain, yes these sober day counting apps helps.
Yes anxiety is really bad at moments, but I think we need to start cope with being within ourselves and being okay with the bad feelings, and they pass after a while.
Me too man, beating this addiction is what I?m going to do too.

Keep going!
 

CB

Active Member
Thanks man, it?s day 46 today.

I had to stop myself and delete my facebook app yesterday as I was going through my suggested friends list, and for some almost scary reason fb suggests girls that are dressing sexually challenging..
There was like 5 of them, that had no connection with my friends list. It?s a little bit scary that fb does that.. It was a huge trigger as I went to the shower. But I could get it out of my head while showering, thinking about my commitment and the consequences of pmo.

So no facebook app for me in a while..

I?m still really determined I will never go back again. Hope you ate doing good!
 

CB

Active Member
50 days right now


This last week has been really challenging for me, I had to get rid of my fb app and get some time away from it. But I had a few peeks on some random girls profiles, and it has to stop. Because right there is where my mental edging starts, and that will not do.. My libido has been a little up and down, but it is to be expected I think. It?s way too early to worry about right now.

 
Hi CB

It is the right thing to do if you fell that's a slippery slope. And it shows how committed you are. Congratulations, 50 is a great figure.

Keep on my friend
 

CB

Active Member
Thanks a lot alain!
Yes, for now it is the right thing to do for me. Social media can be full of triggers, I know there?s people trying to stay off tinder as bad as we try to stay of pmo.

I will, thanks again bud!
 

CB

Active Member
54 days

Anxiety has been striking me lately, but I feel happy about the fact that I?m starting to get a little clarity about looking back at my behavior and how this addiction has made me look at things I never could imagine. And how violent and extreme porn has become.
My addicted me don?t care about people getting hurt... That is the scary part about it. The addicted me is just caring about getting that fix..
It?s not that I?ve been looking at gore or anything, but knowing that porn in general today is really degrading and a lot more violent is making me disgusted with what I have been up to. 

It?s a process, and I?m only at the beginning of leaving that behind for the rest of my life. I?ve been using it since I was 15, and now 38.
I?ve try to quit so many times it?s crazy.. this is probably my 5th thread on here since I joined in 2015 I think.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Congrats on 54 days! I see that you working through the underlying emotions and anxieties that fuel the addiction. This is great and shows real progress.
 

CB

Active Member
stepbystep said:
Congrats on 54 days! I see that you working through the underlying emotions and anxieties that fuel the addiction. This is great and shows real progress.

Thanks Stepbystep

I?m trying my best, I know you?ve been around here for a while too.
 

CB

Active Member
Day 57


Got sick with covid this monday, my gf has been sick with it for over a week until I got it.
Been really struck down with aches and fever and cough, haven?t been thinking about no pmo at all. This morning I MO in the shower just to keep my ?buddy? going.. I have been doing it like once a week just to keep things going a little down there. This doesn?t work for everyone, it can definitely be bad in the beginning. I?m going to aim for once a week or once every two weeks.
If I notice bad things come with it, I?ll have to let it go again for a while.

 

CB

Active Member
Day 59


Still sick, but fever has gone down. Hope I?m getting better from now on, because the aches and pains of the first days was terrible..

Haven?t been thinking much about pmo at all right now. Just trying to recover.
 
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