Time to get back my life

Keep on man! I hope you recover soon. Is good that you're not thinking about pmo. Sometimes when I'm sick I feel like flapping, as a way of avoiding the pain
 

CB

Active Member
Day 62

Thanks alain! Yes, I can relate to fapping while sick to push the pain away. I haven?t masturbated since last time. And I?ll probably not do it in a while either, it?s my plan at least. I need to work on my behavior of using MO to push away bad emotions or worry.

I?m feeling a little better, no fever since 3 days. Cough some, and burning sensation in my nose. Strange.. Just trying to kick this virus right now. I?m trying to rest as much as possible.

I haven?t been thinking much of pmo or anything like that. Well it?s been like some small memories that?s been flashing by, but it?s not been staying around in my mind for long.

Trying to get recovered from Corona right now
 

CB

Active Member
It?s day 68

Thanks alain!

I feel like I have recovered from covid right now, sense of smell coming back more everyday.
As I start to feel better my urges of watching porn or girls has been stronger. I had to delete instagram eventhough I follow only racing stuff, there started to show up girls who objectifying themselves with as little clothes on as possible in my search algorithm. So I just deleted it instead, it?s just stupid..
It?s not been easy last couple of days as I?ve been at home for three weeks. Depression creeping up on me and the empty feeling of nothing is fun. It?s probably linked to my addiction as well. I?ll go out for a walk today it?s sunny.

 
Glad you are rocovered

Yes, I deleted Instagram as well, although I occasionally look it up at work. But it happened to me the same, images of random semi naked people popping all over. Crazy, they will use it to sell.

I have the same issue with all things looking boring and not satisfying. I started reading about desensitisation here https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change-recovery-from-porn-addiction/rebooting-basics-start-here/desensitization-a-numbed-pleasure-response/

And they suggest using meditation as a way of boosting dopamine. I tried it and is making me feel better. Maybe you can try if not already doing.

Also, I went climbing today and it was such a good feeling, so not feeling cravings at all.

Best
 

CB

Active Member
72 days

Yes that instagram algorithm seems super sexist, I feel bad for younger generations growing up on it.

Thanks for the link some really good stuff there! :)

No haven?t done it in a while, I will start meditate 2 times a week and build from there. I have done mindfulness before too and it works, only problem is that I need to just do it.

I went out bicycling the other day, felt great. Definitely doing it a lot more now that spring is here.
 

CB

Active Member
80 days free from porn and sexting!

I?m battling fantasies though, everytime I go showering it is a mental battlefield.
Just trying to keep off thr MO, as it?s a big part of the addiction. It?s like the porn and sexting is the nicotine and the MO is the compulsive behavior.

Been limiting myself to MO, 1 a week or 2 weeks.

Keep battling.
 
Stay strong my friend. You're doing great, I understand how you feel re fantasies, that's sometimes very challenging.

What is your ultimate goal?
 

CB

Active Member
Thanks! I will try my best.

My ultimate goal is being free from the shame of porn/sexting and to never use it again. As well as having a healthy sexlife with my gf and a relationship without me having a bad conscience.
Free from the burden of what that destructive habit comes with.
It is a long road, and it is for the rest of my life. I don?t miss porn as I did before, that feeling was stronger back when I did my other many attempts of getting rid of it.
The thing is for me to handle my emotions, and not flee from them. Numbing myself with porn or sexting or masturbation.

Getting rid of FB and Insta has certainly made it more easy for me in battling the triggers.

 

CB

Active Member
91 days has now gone.

I?m having more days where I don?t have as much triggers and I won?t spend as long time with them or fantasize. There are definitely those days too, but they become less frequent.
I?m still determined to never turn back and use porn or sexting again.
Masturbation is still a part of this addiction, in my experience porn and sexting is like the nicotine where masturbation is the habit or behavior. Masturbating is healthy, but not 10 times a day..
Having sex with my gf has been not so good, where I feel the pressure and it?s tough. But the only way to rewire is to just do it, and not let my OCD take over and ruin it.

It?s a tough road back when all my life I have been avoiding real intimacy and used porn instead..
 

CB

Active Member
101 days free from porn/sexting.

I’m thinking about contacting a addicts centre for sex/cybersex and social media just near where I live. And joining in on video chat group sessions for addicts. This to make sure I keep myself away from relapsing or falling down into binging ever again..
Last couple of days has been a test, where I’d found myself looking of pictures of celebs, not naked or anything but it made me have a bad bout of triggers and fantasies.
I have cut down greatly on my time using my phone, and I plan on keeping heading in that direction.
It is really making a big difference, and some days I feel like I’m looking at women again and think they’re hot, my gf too of course. But I’m working on my intimacy issues, and I’m really happy she is totally in on it.
She said, let’s work on it! I’m really blessed, eventhough it is tough.

Have a nice weekend.
 

CB

Active Member
117 days

Still low libido, and no sex with my gf for a couple of months. Probably my low libido is part of this recovery depression, I’ve been having pretty low mood and feeling more easily angered and very frustrated lately. Sex is part of recovery so I have to do it to get out of my sexual avoidance cycle. Not easy when all my brain wants is different looks and partners all the time. What the porn addiction been doing to my head for decades.. I’m trying my best, and I’m happy my gf is aware. But I love her so much and want to give her sex and love.

Trying my best on the way to a healthy sex life and better mental health.
 

CB

Active Member
120 days

Irritable mood and frustrated, but I’m hanging in there. It will get better..
 

stepbystep

Active Member
101 days free from porn/sexting.

I’m thinking about contacting a addicts centre for sex/cybersex and social media just near where I live. And joining in on video chat group sessions for addicts. This to make sure I keep myself away from relapsing or falling down into binging ever again..
This is a great idea - one thing that really helped me is actually having a support network so doing group sessions will really help keep the addiction further away. It gives perspective and reminds us that relapsing is only one click away and not to be complacent.

congrats on 120 days! you’re an inspiration for me and others on this forum!
 

CB

Active Member
This is a great idea - one thing that really helped me is actually having a support network so doing group sessions will really help keep the addiction further away. It gives perspective and reminds us that relapsing is only one click away and not to be complacent.

congrats on 120 days! you’re an inspiration for me and others on this forum!
Yes I haven’t been taking that step though, but I will make it a goal to contact them this coming week. I think it is the way to go, this can’t be done all by myself. Couldn’t have said it better, relapsing is always one click away.

Thanks man, I try my best. Hope you are doing well!
 

CB

Active Member
Congrats on 120 days! Are you going hardmode? I mean, no orgasm for 120 days?
Thanks a lot, no not hardmode. I have been limiting myself to either masturbating once or twice a week, some weeks I haven’t done it at all. Or sex with my gf, but my libido is really low (flatline probably).
It’s been working for me, but I have been tracking down triggers, mostly on fb and insta for me, so I limit my social media use.
 
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