A little of my history and my first (real) attempt of reboot.

Hello everyone, I hope you are well, I know that you will overcome this, you have my support.

I'm new here, so I'd like to tell you a bit about my history, and my reboot experience. (High text alert).

I am currently 19 years old (20 at the end of the year).

I was a normal boy, the times I had masturbated had been with my imagination, images of women in bikini and lingerie and a couple of times soft images (in no image did you see a vagina) and these were in magazines or other printed articles . I didn't masturbate very regularly, a couple of times a month for a long time.

Everything was going well, I was a boy who masturbated when I wanted to do it, I reached 14 years old, my first encounter with porn (as such) was with erotic movies, you know the ones on certain television channels at night, I masturbated a couple of times, some time later a schoolmate, brought a porn DVD to school, which I borrowed, I took it home and that was my first encounter with something more hardcore, I masturbated with that and I almost got caught. All of this had a bit of social influence.

Back then I didn't have high-speed internet access, so it was time before I watched something hardcore, I kept on with the aforementioned movies, PMOing once a week.

When I finally had internet access, I looked for the first pornstar I watched on the DVD, but I didn't like what I saw.

A couple of months later I watched something more "amateur", in the video it was just a girl masturbating.
Go on with my life, at that time porn still didn't hold me prisoner, I watched it once or a couple of times a month, always with MO, I preferred my imagination and soft images.

Years passed, I entered high school, and I watched again, it no longer bothered me, I was around 16 when it became more regular to watch it, at that time it was once or a couple of times a week.
Unfortunately over time it was climbing, going from a couple of times a month, to almost 25% of the month, and so on until almost daily, although this took a while to happen.

When I turned 17 I started to watch it more, longer and things were slightly more hardcore. This is where I consider that everything went to hell, as it started to have its side effects. From the middle of my 17 years is where I consider that I started to get addicted.
At 18 is where I watched it practically every day, I only did not do it when the schoolwork was too much and I did my schoolwork. Although sometimes I put aside my homework to watch porn.
It climbed the times and the hardcore, here I began to be interested in something more than videos. I started playing porn videogames, so much so that it came to replace videos.

Well, I think I didn't go into much detail before and this is where I'll go, mostly with what I consider to be direct effects.

My taste for girls: before I became addicted, I was attracted to sweet, cute, tender girls, and in terms of physique I really didn't care much about their body, in fact I had mostly liked "flat" girls, so I consider that that was my kind of girls, after porn, I wanted girls with great attributes, who had a certain lust, and even women older than me, you know, that damn category. In general, I was attracted to women who had never done it before, I consider that this is attributed more to porn than to a change due to age.

My way of being: What I mentioned about my attraction to girls and the influence to watch the DVD, before I was a sweet boy, I was friendly and I was not attracted to that kind of things, then everything changed for the worse, I stopped having that little confidence I had, stop being cute and all that stuff.
Before I just wanted to have a partner, do the things that teenagers in love do, and live fully, after porn I wanted someone to have sex with and that's all, I wasn't very interested in the rest.

I gave up my life for porn: I started watching it every day, I didn't care about school or homework, I just wanted nightfall to put the video that I would like the most and finish.

Thanks to porn, my health was affected: Because I masturbated almost every time I watched porn, and I always wanted more, it was a lot of times, thanks to that a vein in my testicle was inflamed, it would have come out in 15 days of that , but as you will suppose, I kept masturbating and that caused me to barely recover that.

At the age of 18 everything escalated to a really sick level, at that time it didn't seem so clear to me. I thought my problem was masturbation, that I was watching porn because I wanted to masturbate and not the other way around.
I watched hours of videos a day, sometimes it wasn't the videos, mostly it was just thumbnails of these, and I got to masturbate twice a day for a while, even one day I reached three times a day.
It was hell, I watched a video of a girl who seemed really pretty to me and was my kind and I was depressed thinking that I would never have a girl like that, (the only good thing about that is that I realized that it was not only talking about having sex with a girl like that, but an emotional relationship), and when I got depressed and thought that I would never have someone like that, I wanted to see more videos of that girl or those pretty girls.
Since I could only watch porn at midnight, sometimes I would see the sunrise after finishing a session (I'm talking about watching porn for hours).
By a miracle I began to realize that I really had a problem, and I think the highest point (or lowest) was when I discovered a new category. It wasn't hardcore at all but it seems to me it's something the same or worse, I'm talking about Virtuak S**. I was totally changing real experiences like talking with a girl, kissing her, touching her, and even having feelings, for a video that pretended do that.

All this was a year ago, a month ago I was trying to quit but I couldn't. Last year the maximum time I spent without M was 14 days, and without P it was maybe 10 days (or less). By the way, I have not spoken face to face with a girl since the end of 2019, I think, all this because of the pandemic.

This year I discovered Gary Wilson's talk at TED. Then I knew that my real problem was porn.
In fact I discovered it a day after my last M.
That same day was my last P. And it was only photos of a naked girl.

Today (January 27th) is my 11th day without P (12th without MO).

I'll start writing how I've felt these days I don't know what day I posted this, but I mean.

Thank you if you got here, I know it is a lot of text and my mother tongue is not English so I do not know how well I expressed myself, I came here to revive help, but also to give it, I do not want anyone to go through hell for the one that I go through so I hope to help you, if you need a little advice or motivation, I would like to be able to provide it to you.

Finally I would like to ask something: How should I carry out the rewiring if I currently have practically no contact (in person) with girls?
Days 1-2: I felt quite good, there were some images that came in, from videos and images seen before but I tried to delete them as quickly as possible, I started to exercise more regularly, I left social networks, (Facebook was the only one that used with some regularity).

Days 3-4: Basically the same as day 1 and 2, I started to feel a little more confidence with myself, I felt a little more focused.

Days 5-6: Here the problems started a bit, I wanted to see something, but fortunately my desire to move forward was stronger.

Days 7-8: More of the same, strong desires but I overcome them, blocking the images and fantasies, I started to carry out projects that I had left abandoned, my confidence continues to rise, on day 8 I was playing a TCG and I got a of a girl, with big breasts, I immediately removed it and never saw it again, it was a good advance.

Days 9-10: Before I had tried to exercise, but with zero results, now I begin to notice a little results, which makes me want to continue without PMO. Something curious happened these days, I had been without having strong morning erections and the previous days I had practically  no erections, these days, I had a pair (not 100%) almost from nothing, I don't know why, ( if anyone has an idea i would appreciate it).

Day 11: Everything was going great. Previous days I had used Facebook for a few minutes, today I got involved and for me it was a mistake. I usually only see memes of things that I like and my friends do not really upload content that is considered a great danger to my reboot.
But I saw an image (practically a meme) it was a naked girl, but the image was cut off just reaching her breasts, I tried to remove it immediately, I visualized it for a second, approximately, but my heartbeat accelerated and I wanted to see the image again, so I better get off Facebook.
See if that counted as relapse but apparently in the FAQ section of this site it is not like that, I felt really bad.
The rest of the day it was difficult for me to remove the image from my mind, I was trying, now that I write this I remembered it and it made me want to look for the image, it is the most difficult thing I have gone through these days. There is really a part of my brain that want to see the video of that girl with all my being, but I try to say no and fight it, maybe I need a little help with that.
I found out that my some triggers are:

Pretty girls on the internet (I know it sounds a bit stupid but I think it is.)
Think lightly about what I watched).
Being alone at night.

I don't know if they count as triggers but I post it.


New Member
keep going man, as I a m still a beginner to rebooting there isn't much advice I can offer but I think your 11 days streak is amazing so you better keep goin bro! ;)(as for me my longest is 6 days lol)
Zillian1st said:
keep going man, as I a m still a beginner to rebooting there isn't much advice I can offer but I think your 11 days streak is amazing so you better keep goin bro! ;)(as for me my longest is 6 days lol)

Thanks man, I hope you're doing well, an I know you can do this, just keep going, You have my support, and I hope I can help, I am sorry to answer many days later.
This is my report.

Unfortunately on the 27th I relapsed, since then, the longest I have lasted without PMO has been a week, I had abandoned my reboot.
I've learned a lot since then, now I don't just want to do this, now I know I really have to, I'll really try this time.

The only good thing about relapse is that it only remains to go forward again and that is what I will do, if you read this, THANK YOU.