Pied and multiple addiction recovery

Maglue

Active Member
Hello,
I'm 36 and over the last 20 years I have had various addictions to certain degrees.. alcohol, weed, food, gambling, and porn induced disfunction.. porn for about 10 years but everyday and multiple times....I'm about 4 years free from cigarettes...
Up until a few months ago the addictions didnt bother me too much.. maybe it did but I masked my problems with the addictions.. but recently I have been feeling real lonely that even the addictions cant mask no more......and I knew it was now definately time to sort it out for good...
In december I went 3.5 weeks off alcohol weed and junk food but I relapsed after Christmas... I picked myself up just over a week ago and gave up Alcohol, weed, and junk food again and it's been going real well...I've been swimming...
I found some new sources of info and found actualized.org and getting into a self actualized life .. its truely an amazing source for self development and is what helped me find my pied problem.. I thought I just needed to do kegels and take some libido.. how wrong was I..
......it's pretty amazing opening my mind to this stuff and realizing that I always failed to remain sober because I focused on the external aspects rather than focusing on the internal...
For example losing weight because I wanted to show off my new body... and not doing it for say internal reasons like not wanting the consumption of the poison...
Watching lots of videos I somehow stumbled on Noah's videos and it all started to click that porn has done some serious damage to myself... im even now realizing porn has done more damage than the other addictions... I've had anxiety for 15 years and now I am confident it's because of pied... im also always tired ...so in the last day my world has been flipped upside down... I never cried in my adult life but now I have alot but I feel at least some of it is the joy of now having the tools and being able to remove the curse of the addictions.... Its all is starting to make sense...

So today I went sober on porn day 1...and I'm also doing no fap...
I'm not sure how no fap will go but I'm definitely going to stay off porn and see what happens with no fap...
Last night I was awake all night I couldnt sleep usually I masterbate to sleep...
I actually really like this girl too but geeze it's real bad timing I would like to heal and reboot at least abit before I talk to her.. I was even thinking of asking to be friends with her...
I've been single for a few years now and havnt had sex since then...

I'm going to share my story here to help with the healing process...
To keep these addictions managed forever I feel I will need to keep up the work to maintain them...
I will report back soon
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Hey Maglue.

It's interesting about what you say about masturbating to help you sleep. I also had that pattern of behaviour too. It's great that you have analysed this and are aware of it because relapses often happen simply because we're on 'autopilot' and masturbating to sleep was one of my 'habits'. Even now, I sometimes find I've got my little friend in my hand when I'm going to bed without realising it. So, breaking habits is a good start. When I go to bed now I just tell myself to switch off my computer and go to sleep.

It's great that you're trying to deal with your other addictions. I haven't really drunk alcohol in about 10 years. I was never a big weed user but I stopped using that about 15 years ago. Both of those were pretty easy to stop, although quitting alcohol meant turning down invitations to go out and socialise. I still drink on social occasions, but the last time I went out with friends at night was over a year ago. So, no alcohol has passed my lips since then. I have to say that it feels fantastic. There is something about having a clear mind which I just don't want to compromise anymore. I don't really like the feeling anymore when I drink alcohol. I think alcohol in moderation is OK. Sometimes we can't avoid it, especially if we're trying to meet a new partner and have to go out and meet people. Just be careful with the booze!

Using weed was like digging a big hole for me, and then pulling the dirt into the hole on top of me. It seems pretty harmless at first, and in fact I think I gained some important insights from weed. At least at the beginning. Eventually, it just robs you of your motivation and confidence. So, kick that one, and stay away from it.

I know you've read my latest thread, so you know how reintroducing masturbation has affected me recently. I don't think there is a problem with masturbation per se, but I really believe that trying to avoid it for at least two months really get's your reboot off to a great start. On top of that, when you start rebooting you might 'enjoy' the flatline. The flatline is weird. If you go into one, DO NOT be tempted to watch porn to see if you can get hard. I can guarantee that you will be able to get hard to porn. Try to embrace your flatline. It can help you in some ways. Your libido with become -10 and you might feel as though someone had removed you penis, but this can be to your advantage for a while. If you go into the flatline, don't panic!

Good luck man! You can do this!
 

Maglue

Active Member
Mate,
I'm onto day 2 now and been real rough on the sleep eah... i only got 3 hours sleep the night before and last night couldnt sleep...
I did have morning wood I rarely ever had before...
Geeze I have no idea what to expect I havnt not masturbating this long since I was 13 ... I think I'm ready to deal with any withdraws I'm completely done with porn eah I want the real thing now....
 

Pdub

Member
Look out for your triggers.  For me it is boredom, loneliness, and anger.  See if you can find out what your triggers are and how to avoid them.

It took me a long time to realize how problematic porn was in my life.  Just like you I am in my mid thirties and started when I was in my early teens.  So many broken relationships, bad habits, and social awkwardness were caused by it.

Like mousemat1 said, -do not go back to look at porn to see if you can still get hard-.  It is the #1 thing that delays your recovery.
 

Maglue

Active Member
Thanks for your replies I'm onto day 3 and not sure what to expect because I've never given up porn before... my sleeps have been short I used to sleep a lot on porn... but I was always tired and exhausted though.. now I know why... I now think most of my problems like anxiety and severe brain Fog was because of porn and what it's done to my brain... this is an unreal step forward for me....I couldn't fix the problem if I didnt know what it was....
I went swimming yesterday and did 10 laps without anxiety of thought if anxiety which was a first... and on the 2nd day off porn which is a first... I'd usually freak out about heart rate and stop it wasnt on my mind... on the first day !....
And I had morning wood for one of first times since I was very young...
.. ...
...
I was watching is it Gabes youtube videos and learnt more things... I spent 4 hours researching last night... I'm ready for the biggest challenge I've ever embarked on... the total rewiring of my brain...! ... I... the management of this disorder and my other addictions is my lifes goal... I'm currently free of them all !...
I have To have a girl friend and start a family...  without these things I am nothing... I used making money and work to hide from these things...
....
..
The idea I came up with is as follows...
Last night I thought of was we have these neurotransmitters that create these pathways of thought... the bacon strips in the video I can link in Gabes earlier videos... (I have such brain Fog right now I dont remember much)... so anyway, if we think we are bad sexual performers then we are hardwiring our brains like this and it comes true...I learnt this idea from Gabe...
So I'm going to programme my brain to think that I can perform and I am strong in bed... and I think it could work...
I might aswell give it a try...I'm quietly confident I can do it...
...
So I might aswell table my shit first then I can focus on this next challenge of rewiring the brain for becoming an acrobat in the bed...
I wont be able to test it for awhile I'm scared but I'm going to meet with a few girls and just be friends...


So I might aswell table my shit now, so then I can move on...
I had a internet porn addiction for last 12 ish years but had other porn habits before high speed internet came about... in recent times say last couple of months for sure porn was not getting me hard anymore and I would still ejaculate anyway..I knew I had to change when I started to have first signs of weak bladder it clicked then... I had been doing kegels and noticed good change from that now though....
...I had noticed over the last years my size decrease but I'm not too bad...
I had pushed girls away and destroyed so many chances with amazing girls because of my performance anxiety and hid in porn and alcohol abit and weed and gambling and food... I lied to some of them with using viagra... I numbed myself down so much that all I was left with was a carcus of this once former brilliant person....
I was quickly going down the path of no return...
I stayed home more and more and didnt want to go out...
...
As I said I had other addictions... but now I know that porn is probably worse than all of them, and I now know what the problems are that I'm finally releasing myself of this curse...and of addiction... I just want other things so much more now I will do anything to have them...
Porn will never be an option ever again....
I'm taking it one day at a time...
I'm doing no Fap I'm not sure what will happen with that I'm looking to put in time...
I think being able to cry for the first times is helping.....
...
I had no idea what porn was doing to my brain that it actually numbs you down for the real sex...that it causes all these other problems like anxiety and brain fog and emotional detachment problems and many many other problems... I have wasted a lot of years on degenerate behaviour and I have the rest of my life to make it good...



 

Maglue

Active Member
Wow OMG I just had another major revelation...

Last year I started getting a sore front of the brain and got an eye disorder because of it... I get sore eyes...

Watch this video

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3iWY_Q3pqlI

"Rewiring of the frontal lobe, part of the brain that tells us to stop over indulging, our breaking system"...

So Porn and my other addictions have given me rewiring of frontal lobe and decreased brain... makes sense why I have such brain fog... I can barely remember what I did yesterday... I barely remembered what day sober I was...... I thought it was weed and alcohol.. porn is a major contributing factor...

Video also says 80% of young teenagers around the world watching porn...
Porn is a major major International problem this is so so damaging to the human race it should be banned....

I have a lot of work to do and soul searching... I've damaged my body and brain so badly... what on Earth have I done to myself...
 

Maglue

Active Member
Day 5 and I'm making unreal progress I feel like a completely different person now... I've got plans and doing new things ... I went out and spoke to random people ... I'm starting yoga...
I believe I can perform...
My journey is just starting I feel amazing ......

I can beat all these addictions then anyone can achieve their goals of being porn free and best their addiction.... No Fap was never an option from 13 till 36... now I dont need to do that..... my mind has much better clarity already, I see things better... my eyes are less sore now... coming from severe pied just 5 days ago I feel like I'm going to be fine in time..... and I will...
...
It's time to man up in life... no more excuses...
No more degenerate behaviour...
Let's do this !!!!
 

Maglue

Active Member
Day 8 or something now...
...
Last few weeks and even more so last few days had some major moves in the right direction... I'm mediating, fasting, swimming, talking to to odd random stranger... I'm starting yoga next week and hypnotherapy... I've been reading the benefits of hypnotherapy as being profound for rewiring the brain...
I see girls looking at me ...
I now fantasize about girls my age that I like, not cougars and gilfs and so on...
I'm massaging my head and rubbing creams on it to calm my sore eyes I'm making progress...
I see things in a different light now...
Instead of just eating the piece of fruit today I felt its touch and smelt it and really looked at it and gained even more.. it might sound dumb but I've been watching a few videos about the brain and really trying to understand more about its connectivity...
I also when I'm seeing through my eyes I look at the big picture and soak it all up with better posture.. rather than head down I will link a video that goes into it abit...
Also,
I worked out why I have addictions...
When I was young I was shy and didnt know how to Express my emotions ... especially around girls... so I did these things to escape......
Oh geeze so many other things I've learnt about myself lately I could go on and on and on...
I Will report back in next week...
I will never go back now... because I want the other life so much more...
Watch this video you will learn something...
I have to post it in a post below...
Make sure you watch it and learn  your brain.... and how to rewire it !!
 

Maglue

Active Member
You should definately watch the whole video for sure...to recover from these addictions you have to put in the hard work... but the video really gets into it from 1 hour 10 minutes.... the whole backstory and stuff is important too...
Enjoy...

 

Maglue

Active Member
I'm not even counting the days anymore it must be 10 or 11 days or something...
Amazing things are happening all the time...
I am definately a different person now...
A much better person...

I'm considering taking horny goat weed to help speed up my Libido..
Any opinions about this?
 

Maglue

Active Member
Day 19 and I did a 35 hour fast...
Geeze so many benefits...
My dick is crazy super hard now its unreal...
I also had a dream in the morning ise having sex with a girl and I was trying not to cum in dream kinda like edging eah...
And then I woke up it was so close to a wet dream havnt had one in nearly 25 years...
Geeze good things are happening...
 

adamc17

New Member
You're crushing it man keep up the good work.  I'm on day 12 hard mode and I'm feeling great as well, no improvements on the pied yet but I feel very clear and focused and it's awesome.  Our futures are going to be amazing!
 
I was drinking up to 17-18 beers a night this fall. I think I abused alcohol and porn because they gave my brain the same feel good reward. Now I only drink once a week but really want to get rid of it entirely but am finding it hard to let go of the one night a week of indulging. I am 5.5 weeks PMO free though and have seen great progress.
 

Maglue

Active Member
Adams,
Yeah buddy good things are happening... how ever long it takes I will get it done and have proper sex... the stuff I've learnt this last 3 weeks is as much as I've learnt in my whole life...

Anteater,
Maybe this might work for you but for me I just have to put everything I can into it and drinking once a week wont work for me... I will never watch porn ever again I know this, but if I drink right now even once, then food addiction and weed and gambling will come back and then I'd nearly have to start again... perhaps in a weakened state anything would be possible...
I'm 36 and time is of the essence...
I just know what I want in life now and alcohol never did anything good for me... so each to their own...
But yeah, it will only slow your recovery down ...

 

Maglue

Active Member
I'm around the day 27ish sober now...
Ex recovering porn and masterbation expert...
I'm down 15kilos in this time without starting myself I'm looking real good girls are looking at me everywhere I go...
My skin is looking amazing...
I'm going to town this weekend and meeting this girl I've really liked for a long long time...

Good things are happening all the time...
 

Maglue

Active Member
Reading the success stories on the other forum page I am Realizing that I have a lot more work to do and this is going to take time maybe even half a year...
Realizing that edging or even mild edging is no good...

I will do it and do it all... !!

Whatever it takes...
 

Maglue

Active Member
HERBAL TEAS

I got the health store to make me up various different herbal teas...
One if the teas i got was for men's sexual health and geeze i got a real savage boner eah ...
Like a natural viagra...
Absolutely amazing...

So early in the recovery and long ways to go but making huge progress....
 

Maglue

Active Member
Making heaps of progress all the time...
Day 30ish...
Its a slow journey but its well worth the little things...
Went out on Saturday night and planned to have two drinks and stuck to it... a couple of red wines and next morning was super hard...
Started running first time in 10 years...
Feeling and looking amazing...
I'm doing the music therapy for brain neuroplasticity...
...
Once I knew I had pied I've done everything possible to get my sexual health back... this is easy
 

Maglue

Active Member
Onto day 36 no P M or O...
On easy street now...
Whats the big deal about no PMO...?
Heaps of people failing...

Although I got up to 40 days of healthy eating and relapsed this weekend...
So I can relate I guess...

The girl I really like has a boyfriend... dumb eah, but there's other options coming up and not in a rush still very focused on rebooting proper before I search for a girl friend
 

Maglue

Active Member
I lasted 40 days no M and O...
Oh well not the greatest but can't complain really I wanted to do it...

Still never watching porn ever again and I never will...
And back on my horse today ....

Making heaps of progress even though I took a step backwards...
I will be going into a flatline here so the wood be no good lol...
 
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