A new beginning

Once thing I noticed is how my motivation rises sharply after every relapse, only to fall down a couple of days after. This is very uncanny. Suddenly you find more pleasure on everyday stuff. Then you woke up the next day feeling empty and worthless.

I guess it has to do with that dopamine rush you get and some of it being directed somewhere else than porn pathways.

I always thought that I never experienced the dreaded 'flatline', but now I realize that I'm kind of into one. One very long of low intensity.
 
9 days of this streak so far

It was not an easy week. Felt so irritable most of the time however, I managed to get through it. "Be comfortable being uncomfortable", that's what I think I'm achieving. So then you can enjoy better the good moments.
 

CB

Active Member
That?s a great mindset! You are almost on a 10 days streak, that?s great!
I try to think about the consequences of using P or MO each time I fall down into the mental reasoning with my addicted self. It helps a great deal I think, you probably already know that.
Keep fighting the good fight!
 
Day 13

I feel calm and at the same time so depressed, like nothing seems as pleasurable as it used to.

Those pandemic times are a bit hard, since it's harder to make some of the things that used to give me pleasure. I know it will pass, but I'm afraid how we will come to the other side....

I guess my brain is rebalancing from the crap I watched over more than 15 years, its going to take a long time....

Are you guys struggling with low motivation as well?
 

CB

Active Member
Yes, life is a bit dull right now for me as well.

Low motivation on work and in general right now, withdrawal depression for sure. It will get better, just make sure to find ways for yourself to get you mind on something else.
I?ve noticed that getting the brain focused on something else like bicycling or whatever for 30mins is making my mood more managable.
Keep hanging in there, it will get better. Life is good on the other side, that is what many addicts say. We get convinced that we can?t live our life without our drug (porn/masturbation) this time. That we can?t have fun, or feel pleasure. It?s only scary in the beginning, like both of us are on out sobriety trip. :)

It will get better, it?s tough but it will subside.
 
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