No dopamine released by porn

  • Thread starter escapeandnevercomeback
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I have to work 3 days by myself, including 2 night shifts and I'm not excited about it because I'm new without experience. Hopefully nothing hard happens.

Today the boss sent a message about a meeting at some restaurant where they want to party or something and I'm not excited about this either because I'm recovering from my drinking problem (that they don't know about). I feel like, if I don't go, I will create this image about myself not caring about the group or whatever, but if I go, I'm afraid I won't be able to refrain myself from drinking. I really don't want to go back to my drinking habit. I sleep better and I don't have palpitations anymore. I don't know what to do.

Plus, there's been all this anxiety those couple of days.

(Lord, give me strength to overcome everything. I don't need things handed on a platter, just strength).
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I am about to leave for my afternoon shift in an hour and that's a good thing because I'm tempted.
 

Emmen

Member
In my experience most people won't take it negatively if you don't go to parties. I almost never went when I was a student, and I don't think anyone made that much of a deal out of it.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Emmen said:
In my experience most people won't take it negatively if you don't go to parties. I almost never went when I was a student, and I don't think anyone made that much of a deal out of it.

I hope so.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
So I'm back after afternoon shift being all alone in there. I had no business with porn and then all of a sudden I had this brief urge to PMO right there! Fortunately, it lasted about a second but it's crazy, man, I haven't done this for many years. When I got my first job, I worked alone too and I PMOed in the office  :eek: I was so hooked that I couldn't even wait to get home. At my second job I PMOed in the bathroom. It's sick, man.
 

Emmen

Member
That feeling is fleeting. I think the best thing would be to direct your attention elsewhere. What kind of activity would help you with that?
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Emmen said:
That feeling is fleeting. I think the best thing would be to direct your attention elsewhere. What kind of activity would help you with that?

Yes, the feeling will go away eventually.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
The "4 hard days" are gone now which leads to: "Everything passes, no matter how hard it is." This is good to remember.

I'm a big supporter of "Complete porn starvation". No porn, no porn substitutes, no masturbation to flashbacks. It's the safest, quickest, and surest way to beat this.

Quitting porn means discomfort, means getting out of your comfort zone. Porn is the ultimate comfort zone and if this is "comfort" then we want the opposite of "comfort" to stop feeling like shit. We need "discomfort".
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Every time you relapse, you don't stop the pain of withdrawal, you just postpone it and then it comes back after the number of days that the addiction is set to. You will never escape de withdrawal without the complete starvation, absolutely no porn method. The hard withdrawal has started for me already. This is the discomfort and I will tolerate it and grow. At the end of all this shit I will be stronger.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
10 days of porn hardmode. On March 11 I said "back to misery" and now I feel 5 times better. I'm on the way to beat a 23 years old long addiction to self-medication. It started with a weird masturbation and then porn. If you combine the two, it's been 23 years, man. All my life I've been a slave to self-medication and comfort zone. I've been the ultimate comfort zone guy. A crybaby who loved to whine. I had years when I accepted my misery. Fortunately, the internal conflict started and I wouldn't have been here without it, the internal conflict between "this is who I am but it's not who I want to be". I didn't want to accept my misery anymore, I didn't want to accept that I was a loser. But I've still lost 3 years going nowhere. And this is what I'm going to change now. No more comfort zones, no more whining, no more weak shit. I can't be weak and not a slave to my vices and addictions at the same time.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Bro, you are right on time.

I have this written on a piece of paper next to my monitor.

"I am right on time".

I tried to be strong but it never worked for me. It put too much pressure on me. Between weak and strong there is balance.

https://grtimes.com/2018/12-14-2018/you-must-bend-but-not-break.html

Wish you well

Seeing you free from P addiction
EW
 
Good, keep the optimistic mentality. 10 days is a good mark, but be aware and ready to fight back when the urge comes. Keep in mind *why* do you want to be free. If you haven't, take the time to articulate it well and put it on writing. Aim at greatness, nothing less. Identify and let go everything that is not helping you reach that goal. Never give up!
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
recovery000 said:
Good, keep the optimistic mentality. 10 days is a good mark, but be aware and ready to fight back when the urge comes. Keep in mind *why* do you want to be free. If you haven't, take the time to articulate it well and put it on writing. Aim at greatness, nothing less. Identify and let go everything that is not helping you reach that goal. Never give up!

Thanks for support. It's definitely getting harder. I expect harder urges to come.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
It's getting harder and harder. Urges and craving are strong, I feel fuckin sick.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
But anxiety is a lot better and I have more energy. I'm starting to feel like long time ago when I had that streak going. I need to make sure I don't fuck this up.
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I want to make it to 2 weeks. I need to avoid watching porn in my head. This is the number 1 mistake I make.

Mentally, I'm kind of agitated, irritated, I have difficulties thinking and I jump from one thing to another. But energy level in me is high. I should use it to do some things. However, I see myself slowly getting better.
 

TheHeartacheKid

Active Member
Hey Escape,

Catching up on your journal, glad you're doing better the last few days.  You're starting to get a handle on it and recognizing certain triggers and also why it's harder right now since you're not drinking either.  Replacement is a huge issue for a lot of addicts.  The mind doesn't want to give up an escape, but if you replace it with something else, it's much easier to get it over that one escape.  You're getting it though!

Also, I hope you remember to pat yourself on the back for giving up TWO things at once.  That's damn impressive.  You're making it my friend.  Head high!
 
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escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
TheHeartacheKid said:
Hey Escape,

Catching up on your journal, glad you're doing better the last few days.  You're starting to get a handle on it and recognizing certain triggers and also why it's harder right now since you're not drinking either.  Replacement is a huge issue for a lot of addicts.  The mind doesn't want to give up an escape, but if you replace it with something else, it's much easier to get it over that one escape.  You're getting it though!

Also, I hope you remember to pat yourself on the back for giving up TWO things at once.  That's damn impressive.  You're making it my friend.  Head high!

Thanks, man. I appreciate the support. Yes, giving up two things at once is very difficult. It gives me extra craving mode.
 
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