No dopamine released by porn

[escapeandnevercomeback]

DAY 1

Fuck. How many times will I write "Back to misery" here? It's ridiculous. My best is only 25 days. I'm too much a slave to self-medication for Christ's sake. 23 years of self-medication is very difficult to change. I have a weak mind, that's for sure. My mentality is shit. I run away from the pain. I need to embrace the suck. "Comfort" has brough me nothing, I need the "discomfort". I'm fuckin tired of this shit, really. I don't know and I really want to see if my severe social anxiety is a result of porn addiction or not. I can't know if I don't quit porn. Because of this fuckin social anxiety, I have many things to do but I'm freakin out to even start them.

 

[Phineas 808]

Use that angst as a new motivation, escape!

We're all in this place because of our own weaknesses and deficiencies. But actually, we're doing exactly what we're designed to do, and that is, when our mind is not in a place of harmony we do what we can to bring ourselves back to a state of normal. Now for many of us, we adopted these maladaptive behaviors. The drinking, the PMO, are all your efforts to bring a semblance of normalcy to your life and feelings. All we need do now is switch over (rewire) toward healthier stimuli to right ourselves when we're out of sorts.

You're right, too, about discomfort, that we become stronger when we can endure 'the suck' as you put it. What little things can you do now to train yourself? Cold showers? If there's a pleasurable reward (non PMO) that you can delay a little while receiving?

Above all, escape- don't berate yourself, don't hate yourself- you have to be on your own side, because often times, that's all it boils down to. You have to be in your own corner.

Why not change your self-talk? Instead of saying, "Back to misery"- why not drop the defeatest language, and say something like, "Back to victory", that despite the binges, you still get back up and try again... They may be binges now, but more and more you will walk away from this thing.

Get up, and start swinging!

 

[Phineas 808]

You can do it, escape!

You can outlast any urge! It's not about endurance, but dismissal.

When it comes, simply be aware as an outside observer, and breathe through it deeply and slowly, as it passes on by. Repeat this, should it come in waves of urges. Each one dismissed the same as the previous one.