What you give is what you get (I went 580 days. Relapsed. Finally back on track.

K

Kraken

Well-Known Member
Emptyroom said:

Day 83​

I feel temptation to watch sexual things on Youtube. I have been able to resist that urge but I don't know for how long I can do that. If I tell myself that I will resist as long as possible, that gives me strength. I also need to think about that I am at day 83 again. I don't want to loose this streak. As I wrote this post I searched for a sexual thing on YT. I didn't click anything but It was a dangerous behaviour and I saw some women in suggestive clothing. God dammit! It sucks! Why go back to it? Life is better without it. Stay on the path!
Edit: I watched some more and basically PMO:d to soft videos on Youtube. I will not reset my counter because it wasn't proper P and It also makes me feel less bad if I keep the 83 days for now. Hopefully I can recover from this before it gets worse.
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This is very relatable to me. I have had many similar experiences where scantly clad YouTube leads to more hardcore usage a few days or weeks later. It’s a bummer how many triggers are out there and how accessible porn is, makes things difficult. You got this room, sending you long distance support!
 
Emptyroom

Emptyroom

Active Member
Day 7. Intensive work periods are always a good time to change habits. Feels like I have no urges at all when I'm working. That I have a partner right now helps as well. She is sadly depressed and I'm not sure if she wants to be with me in the long run. Probably not. I hope I can help her through her depression. Still, I have to remember that you can't be responsible for diminishing other people's suffering. I can only take responsibility for my actions. It feels good to be back here. Take care!
 
Emptyroom

Emptyroom

Active Member
Kraken said:
This is very relatable to me. I have had many similar experiences where scantly clad YouTube leads to more hardcore usage a few days or weeks later. It’s a bummer how many triggers are out there and how accessible porn is, makes things difficult. You got this room, sending you long distance support!
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Thank you Kraken. I didn't see your post because I went back to the P-slumber. Now I am awake again, hopefully for longer than 83 days.
 
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