Emptyroom
Active Member
Day 95 (28/11-21)
Things have been moving along. I MO:ed on day 91 and I MO:ed the day after that, then I MO:ed the day after that. But the urge to MO (that came in the mornings) have stopped now. I haven't felt the urge to MO in two days now.
I have managed to block that chat-site and that feels good. I haven't had the urge to go to it again. I feel like I have my balance again.
Right now, I feel that I don't get that much joy out of life. It is strange because I have more friends than I ever have had. My education is going well. I feel like I will enjoy the work that I have chosen for myself. I get to play music on my spare time. Still I feel that I am disconnected in my life in some way. I don't seem to be able to enjoy things that I used to enjoy. Things like movies and music and hanging with friends. This is something that I have felt for some time. Maybe I need to start doing something new with my life or try to talk to someone about this.
I know that things will get better later in my journey. I will be able to feel better just by waiting but I am sure that If I apply positive things in my life like exercise and eating healthy and meditation things will move faster in the direction that I want. I should make some goals some time next week. I need to think how I want to spend my life. If I don't plan I will waste a lot of my life doing things that I could live without.
Have a good day everybody!
/Josef
Things have been moving along. I MO:ed on day 91 and I MO:ed the day after that, then I MO:ed the day after that. But the urge to MO (that came in the mornings) have stopped now. I haven't felt the urge to MO in two days now.
I have managed to block that chat-site and that feels good. I haven't had the urge to go to it again. I feel like I have my balance again.
Right now, I feel that I don't get that much joy out of life. It is strange because I have more friends than I ever have had. My education is going well. I feel like I will enjoy the work that I have chosen for myself. I get to play music on my spare time. Still I feel that I am disconnected in my life in some way. I don't seem to be able to enjoy things that I used to enjoy. Things like movies and music and hanging with friends. This is something that I have felt for some time. Maybe I need to start doing something new with my life or try to talk to someone about this.
I know that things will get better later in my journey. I will be able to feel better just by waiting but I am sure that If I apply positive things in my life like exercise and eating healthy and meditation things will move faster in the direction that I want. I should make some goals some time next week. I need to think how I want to spend my life. If I don't plan I will waste a lot of my life doing things that I could live without.
Thank you very much Phineas 808. You always give great advice to me. I will try to do this.Josef, congrats on 90 +1 days!
I know this place of obsession all too well, and the hours that can be lost, the sleep that can be lost...
You said, "Is that F**'ed up or what?" Learn to accept these urges when they come up, without judgement. Even if you've acted on them to a degree (for or against), don't judge it. Kind of step back, take some deep breaths, and just observe these things happening as if you were a separate person from yourself, but without judgement.
Maybe pinch yourself (not to punish) to ground yourself, check your pulse-rate, become aware and mindful of what is happening now, and just appreciate that space between urge and action, take advantage of that space, and just let the urges diminish on their own without acting on them, for or against. Rinse and repeat.
Thank you for sharing your story, and experiences. Identify what behaviors may be feeding these urges, and work with them to strengthen your resolve.
Have a good day everybody!
/Josef
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