So I'm on day 10 now after 961 tries.... This time feels different, its ridiculously easy so far which is scaring me because I have never been in that position before. Usually when I reach the 7-10 day mark I have huge urges and think about it most of the day. For the last 10 days I had sporadic thoughts that came and went with no real urges. I am afraid that something is lurking around the corner that will hit me square in the face. I have not done anything different or used a new approach.
That being said, I have started listening to the porn free podcast a couple of days ago, and the subject was consequences when you relapse. I have to admit I have never looked at it from that angle. I have been conditioned when reading different forums or articles that when you relapse don't be too hard on yourself and pick yourself up and jump on the wagon again. Although I agree with that statement I think it also negatively form a bad habit of not really being accountable since there are very little impact when you make the decision to act out - other than feeling like crap for a couple of days. I think it makes sense to have some sort of consequence when you make the choice to act out and PMO - not in a punitive way but more in a way that there are additional implications in the choice that you are about to make, to use it as an additional tool. If you do give in, take the time with the consequence to properly reflect on a daily basis why you gave in, use it as a reminder. Now the consequence could be anything that is important to you (more than PMO obviously). A very simple example I am looking at, if I break my current streak and PMO I will not drink coffee for 14 days. Not having my daily dose of caffeine will definitely have an impact on me and will be a constant reminder to reinforce my moment of weakness or if I do give in to reflect on why I am now in that position.
In any other parts of life, regardless if its work, school, social, law, etc... when you make a choice you are face with different levels of consequences, you may get a free pass every now and then but for the most part you need to get your act together.
Now I have to battle on 2 fronts, porn addiction and relapsing (bad) habits.
That being said, I have started listening to the porn free podcast a couple of days ago, and the subject was consequences when you relapse. I have to admit I have never looked at it from that angle. I have been conditioned when reading different forums or articles that when you relapse don't be too hard on yourself and pick yourself up and jump on the wagon again. Although I agree with that statement I think it also negatively form a bad habit of not really being accountable since there are very little impact when you make the decision to act out - other than feeling like crap for a couple of days. I think it makes sense to have some sort of consequence when you make the choice to act out and PMO - not in a punitive way but more in a way that there are additional implications in the choice that you are about to make, to use it as an additional tool. If you do give in, take the time with the consequence to properly reflect on a daily basis why you gave in, use it as a reminder. Now the consequence could be anything that is important to you (more than PMO obviously). A very simple example I am looking at, if I break my current streak and PMO I will not drink coffee for 14 days. Not having my daily dose of caffeine will definitely have an impact on me and will be a constant reminder to reinforce my moment of weakness or if I do give in to reflect on why I am now in that position.
In any other parts of life, regardless if its work, school, social, law, etc... when you make a choice you are face with different levels of consequences, you may get a free pass every now and then but for the most part you need to get your act together.
Now I have to battle on 2 fronts, porn addiction and relapsing (bad) habits.