Nick 2.0

guitar1968

Active Member
Glad to hear Nick. Today is day 63 for me and I've been struggling a bit more. My post today covers it all so I won't write about it here. There is no doubt that this is a roller coaster ride. No way to stay on the top every moment. When you go up, down can certainly follow. I just there are many more ups in the future and far less downs.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Day 61 and feeling pretty solid ... still a bit tired from last week actually ... but feeling grounded.

Thanks for your candour Guitar ... as I mentioned in your Forum I am feeling very similar things. But ... I think your roller coaster ride analogy is right on and time and experiences living away from the PMO routine is the only thing I think truly heals all wounds and starts to flatten out those downs.

Stay strong y'all.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Day 62 ... and I feel like I am coming into a phase of steady, consistent balanced living. The last week or so has been the opposite ... with periods of disruption, distraction, and general unease. But I sense this is behind me now - not sure why but it is what it is - and I am looking forward to putting some mileage into my journey as a non-porn user.

Talk soon.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 62 ... and I feel like I am coming into a phase of steady, consistent balanced living. The last week or so has been the opposite ... with periods of disruption, distraction, and general unease. But I sense this is behind me now - not sure why but it is what it is - and I am looking forward to putting some mileage into my journey as a non-porn user.

Talk soon.
Good news Nick. I've been experiencing some ups and downs as of late, but nothing that is sending me back to my old ways. I think I've just realized that life will always have ups and downs with or without porn. I'm just determined to not let the downs pull me back in. Sounds like you are doing the same.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Nick, Guitar and I are all around the same time in our journey. Day 69 today and feeling pretty solid. Thanks for sharing and keep up the endurance to win this battle!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
A few days offline as I settle into a 1 week vacation with the fam. Things have settled into a good groove ... as I sip some green tea and look out over a beautiful peaceful lake. A good time to reflect on how far I have come (and still have to go). Overall feeling very fortunate and grateful that I tripped across this site 4 months ago (don't even remember how that happened but ... sometimes that is how the universe unfolds).

Stay strong and talk soon.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Day 69 today and I have had a pretty terrific 1 week of vacation (that comes to an end tomorrow). As I am away with a host of kids and guests, the week has been blissfully absent of any porn temptations (and there really isn't any way to be alone anyway so it has been a blessing knowing I have no choice but to simply live a fully "normal" non-porn life).

Lots going on in my life when I return though so will need to ensure I just keep the smooth mojo and embrace the memories from this week away and seamlessly slip back into my at home routines. Looking forward to seeing that happen.

Stay strong everyone!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Today is day 71 ... and I am gearing myself up to finish strong over these last 29 days as I close in on 100 days. Over this period I am focusing on consistency - particularly as it pertains to being crisp and decisive when triggers present themselves. This is the 1 area I am calling out which I have at times been a bit sluggish with on occasion over these last 70 days ... and is where I want to do a better job of nipping thoughts in the bud so there is just no oxygen for the monkey to breathe and mess around in my head.

Looking forward to the next 4 weeks.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Congrats on day 71, Nick! Sounds like an excellent strategy, too, as you approach triple digit numbers. That's so key, nipping former thought processes in the bud.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Thanks Phin - I appreciate your support. And as day 72 begins, I feel energized to really push things to the next level. Nothing radically different from what I have been doing, just ... more intentional, fully at peace in the moment, and really enjoying my new found lifestyle even more.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and vested interest.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
On to day 73 ... things are feeling pretty solid and I am feeling I am in a good place. Great to have this forum to come back to and reground myself every day. Looking forward to this day.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Day 79 today and I think I will keep up the day tracker until 100 and then probably let it fall by the wayside. I am thinking now it is less about the specific daily count and more about reflections of what is still "sticky" from my old brain and what is being rekindled in my revived brain.

And on that note ... one of the real positives I have been noticing of late is just how much more "in touch" I am starting to feel with my wife. Just starting to notice her more, appreciate her more, and feel a bit of a throw back to how things used to be in a more connected sense when we were younger. I am sure this is part of the unthawing of my brain - but for me it is a tangible indication that other positive changes are on the horizon.

One step and one day at a time though. Still lots of ground to cover before I am effortlessly casting aside tempting thoughts and lingering on some old triggers. More to come ...
 

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 79 today and I think I will keep up the day tracker until 100 and then probably let it fall by the wayside. I am thinking now it is less about the specific daily count and more about reflections of what is still "sticky" from my old brain and what is being rekindled in my revived brain.

And on that note ... one of the real positives I have been noticing of late is just how much more "in touch" I am starting to feel with my wife. Just starting to notice her more, appreciate her more, and feel a bit of a throw back to how things used to be in a more connected sense when we were younger. I am sure this is part of the unthawing of my brain - but for me it is a tangible indication that other positive changes are on the horizon.

One step and one day at a time though. Still lots of ground to cover before I am effortlessly casting aside tempting thoughts and lingering on some old triggers. More to come ...
Great stuff Nick
When you said throw back to how things used to be. It reminded me of when I was probably between the ages of 17 to 25 approximately. Of when just holding a girls hand would send me to the moon. Not sexually but emotionally. When I was this age there was no internet porn there was no internet. Just magazines. I feel as time goes on I can get back to that to the moon emotional feeling when holding a woman's hand. I like the idea of stopping the daily tracker at 100 days. I have a counter on my computer that I may keep just to keep.

Thanks for you post Peace and Strength.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey CoolBreeze - thanks for your post. I totally agree - and I think in a broader sense, I find that I am starting to feel a greater sense of appreciation for the moment. So not taking things for granted and really just being more "there" - in all sorts of daily activities that I previously would have just passed on by because my focus was elsewhere. It is like a breath of fresh air and I am really finding tremendous joy in it. Looking forward to more "discoveries". Thanks for sharing your perspective.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Nice job Nick! I agree that I may quit counting once I hit 90 or 100! So good we will both be there very soon! Glad your connectivity with the wife has improved similar to mine! We got this and let's keep moving forward!
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Great to hear all of this success. I'm at day 82 so I'm right there with you guys. I may keep counting a little longer. I'm so much better than I was 82 days ago, but I still go into porn fantasy in my head a little more than I would like. I think Nick said it best about letting the brain thaw. Mine is starting to thaw and things are getting better, but there is still a strong pull in my brain to go back. It's getting easier to ignore it, but I want it to go away. I don't want it tempting me or bothering me ever again. It will take some time for sure. But I'm glad you are doing so well and it is helping me so much as well.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Day 83, and I have just come back from some day surgery I have been waiting to get done for quite some time. As I was waiting for the anesthesia to kick in before going under the knife, I felt a great sense of peace for this past 6 months and how I have tried to step up and become a better man. Far from perfect - I have had stumbles on my Reboot journey but, in the end I have been genuinely trying, learning, and most of all have been accepting of myself regardless of what the score card said at the end of the day. And this gives me hope, because I think this is a major part of figuring out my shit - and learning to accept myself with all my warts and let go of all other shame and baggage.

I hope if this rings true for others, you can use this to your advantage in your struggles. Stay strong all.
 
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