120 Days Free!

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Day 120!

Having hit my overall goal (made up of 15 8-day mini-goals), I no longer have to count days!

This is also 4 months of this recovery effort.

Today I hit my overall goal of 120 days without P, PMO, MO, and with only minimal episodes of P-Subs or edging.

I was able to abstain, all without using support groups (besides RN), accountability partners, 12-Step programs, porn blockers, or porn filters.

Analysis of my 120 Day Abstinence Challenge:

Originally in Reboot Nation I had hit 120 days (Journal: The End of All Flesh) back in March of 2015, six years ago! But the overall goal didn't feel genuine, as at day 75 I began to lapse with P-Subs and edging, and felt my goal was compromised.

But, I hit other lengthy streaks after this, as noted in my page 1.

Before rejoining Reboot Nation, I had been escalating in my porn use in frequency and more hardcore. I also began going for PMO, and not simply P. I was averaging about 1-2x a week, with a continuous feed of P-Subs in between acting out sessions.

I began to count days again, as that helped me to be more focused and serious about quitting. But my results varied, as I averaged about every 8 days, sometimes every 6 days before lapsing. The most I could do was a stint of 34 days back on October 31, 2020. Then, afterward, back down to 6. This was a failed attempt to hit 120 days.

After rejoining Reboot Nation, I had a more earnest and diligent approach. I targeted my social media usage: IG, FB, YT, and deleted entirely Pinterest. I also changed my relationship to the iPhone in general, the habits surrounding it, even if innocent on the surface. These mini-habit changes helped me immensley toward my overall habit change goals.

Mostly, I put it out of my mind, and followed pretty much everything listed in my 16 Principles of Recovery as tried and true methods and mindsets that have helped me gain the most traction. These were hard won strategies gained through literally decades of trial-and-error.

My going for the low hanging fruit strategy of having mini-goals, 120 = 15 x 8, helped me also.   

Thoughts and impressions going forward:

My wife and family benefit from a more focused husband and father. My wife and I enjoy more frequent and more intimate sex, and more and more I'm able to focus 'in the moment' without relying on imagination to keep Ol' Willy engaged.

I have more focus on my dreams and goals, and am more excited about my future. I have hopes of fulfilling my dreams of spiritual ministry. I am able to focus on being fruitful in every area of my life.

There is, too, an indescribable joy of being free and unshackled by my former habits and/or addictions. I am no longer obsessive, no longer controlled by the drives of my lower brain. I am no longer keeping this beast in some secret ICU unit of my mind, on a drip-feed of P-subs or edging. Let it die, pull the plug already!

These 120 days have been training. So, this is not the end, but the beginning of a life without P, PMO, MO, P-Subs or Edging. I know how to handle situations. I am keeping my new habits toward phone and pc usage. I can entertain myself through social media, T.V. shows and music, without allowing them to cue me toward urges, or their fulfillment. And, if and when urges do come, I know how to surf these, and dismiss them.

I am excited and ready for a future pregnate with potential, even at my age. And in all vigilance, I aim to protect and deepen this new found lease on life!

Thank you, Gabe Deem, for all that you do (and for your support)!

Blessings, All!
 

joepanic

Well-Known Member
Hey Phineas

  CONGRATULATIONS ON A JOB WELL DONE.  You are an inspiration for many who are at all levels of recovery.  Now its time for you to celebrate your  victory and begin a new life full of well "LIFE" as we all know that porn  takes away your life.

    Cheers to you  and as always  post often it helps me and it helps you  and "all" who are in  need
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Hello Phineas!

Congratulations on reaching 120 days and more! I am looking forward reaching 120 days myself.

Take care!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Thank you, Zaraki!

I wish I knew we were tracking so close together...

Looking forward to your own celebration!
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Unfortunate I made a slip up on day 82. I have a difficult time when dealing with other personal problems and this addiction and I haven't learned yet to control urges.

I will reach 120 days and this time also learning with your advice how to deal with urges. Thank you.  :)

Take care
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Definitely, Zaraki!

Soon, you'll be able to separate problems, stress, and other outward or inward stimuli away from urges. Right now, it may be easy or even 'natural' to identify one with the other. But you'll see it as possible to dismiss urges whith or without problems.

That's how I see things now, urges may or may not come, but life goes on. This life is full of joy and happiness, and also stresses and sorrows, but mostly these don't seem to affect me toward urges any more. Occasionally, perhaps if it's a fight with the wife, I may link problems and urges, but mostly not.

I hope you post somewhere about it when you hit 120, so I can celebrate with you!
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Thank you Phineas for your kind and insightful words to separate problems from urges.  :)

I will post next time my victories, thank you.

Take care, you are doing great!
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Phineas 808 said:
Definitely, Zaraki!

Soon, you'll be able to separate problems, stress, and other outward or inward stimuli away from urges. Right now, it may be easy or even 'natural' to identify one with the other. But you'll see it as possible to dismiss urges whith or without problems.

That's how I see things now, urges may or may not come, but life goes on. This life is full of joy and happiness, and also stresses and sorrows, but mostly these don't seem to affect me toward urges any more. Occasionally, perhaps if it's a fight with the wife, I may link problems and urges, but mostly not.

I hope you post somewhere about it when you hit 120, so I can celebrate with you!

Definitely. You know, some people say that their brains is against them for wanting to make them relapse but, in fact, our brain is trying to help us, it's just that we have conditioned ourselves in a wrong way. We have made our brain see "solution for X = Porn", where X is any problem you might encounter, any discomfort and stuff like that. The thing is, we don't need addictions to deal with problems, we have the tools we need hidden within ourselves, we just need to find them. I mean, addictions don't fix anything, they are problems, not cures and solutions. We don't need porn, alcohol, drugs, binge eating, videos games or anything like that to handle our lives. I threw away alcohol and I won't go back to it as a form of self-medication anymore. Porn is next. I have ~50 days without drinking as a medication tool, let me get to 50 days without porn.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Good thoughts, Escape! Exactly, we?re simply healthy people who chose for whatever reason unhealthy (or maladaptive) behaviors to cope with negative thoughts and feelings.

Congrats on the alcohol, and porn is next!
 

guitar1968

Active Member
I enjoyed reading your story Phineas. I'm glad you found a method that works for you. I'm really just getting started but at 9 days in, I'm feeling good.

Keep up the great work.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Thank you so much, guitar!

Yes, if you can do 9 days, you can do 90 days!

Find a method where you're not 'white-knuckling' it, and you can just coast your way through.

The 'porn is not an option' mindset is what you want to cultivate.

Excited to be a part of your journey!
 
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