The Pursuit of Innocence

Day 36

Rainy day, wasn't able to walk outside so only lifted weights at home.
Finally finished reading "The power of habit", the first half of the book was good but it got repetitive and dry half way through, if I didn't force myself to read at least 10 pages a day I probably would've quit reading half way through.
Speaking of which, there are 3 books that I abandoned reading half way through, now is the perfect time to finish reading those, 10 pages a day is doable for a person that doesn't enjoy reading like myself.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, lifted weights in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Did what I said I would to today, went grocery shopping and then prepped my meals for the upcoming week.

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Tomorrow I will have no choice but to make an annoying phone call, my focus will be to monitor my emotional state and not let negative emotions get the best of me.
After the phone call, I will take a couple of deep breaths, get out of my seat, go downstairs and get some water/tea.
 
Day 37

Rainy day yet again, only did dumbbell circuit for cardio, really miss walking outside, breathing in fresh air and get some much needed sunlight.
I'm starting to notice small improvements in mood and how I handle stress, the little things that used to annoy me aren't that annoying now.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, lifted weights in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Stuck to my meal plan 100%

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

If it's not raining in the morning I WILL got out for a walk, really really miss the therapeutical effect of simply walking outside
 
Day 38

Nothing special today, did not get any urges, I'm thankful for that.
My diet plan has been going well, I enjoy the food that I prepped, I am feeling better as well eating healthier, balanced meals.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, went for a walk in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Stuck to my meal plan 100%

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Follow the process, be grateful for everything
 
Day 39

Was a bit frustrated at work, to my surprise I had no urge to PMO and I was able to quickly regain composure.
Ever since starting this rebooting journey, I've become way more productive at work, and I'm starting to regain the passion for what I do and I'm very grateful to be able to work in this field.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, went for a walk in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Able to remain calm despite the "turbulences" at work

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Follow the process, be grateful for everything
 
Day 40

An other ordinary day, feeling accomplished because I've done every single little things I can to improve myself.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, went for a walk in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Followed my plan, no room for PMO, not even thoughts

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Manage my time better in the morning, I'm squeezing in a lot of things before work so I need to cut down on unnecessary web browsing in the morning.
 
Day 41 mid day update, currently stressed the fuck out, am having STRONG URGES, certain sensitive words and a name of a pornstar keeps popping up in my mind but thankfully I can't remember her full name.
Just putting this out here, this is a pledge that I WILL NOT PMO NO MATTER WHAT, I'VE COME TOO FAR TO GIVE IT ALL BACK, NO WAY IT'S HAPPENING.
 
Day 41

Came really close to watching p today, something unpleasant happened at work and got me stressed out, a pstar kept popping up in my head luring me to search up on her, luckily I forgot her name. As a last resort I made a post here making a pledge that I will NOT watch p then walked away to cool off, and it worked !
Starting an accountability journal here is hands down the best decision I've made when it comes to fighting my p addiction, I'm grateful for this community.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, exercised in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Held myself accountable and did not give in to watching p

What I did poorly today ?

Did not "shut my brain off" right away when urges creep up

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

It's been a rather stressful week, I will take it easy tomorrow, hopefully it will be sunny so I can soak up some much needed sunlight.
 
Wolfman said:
Keep going pursuitofinnocence! It's motivating to read your entries -- you've got this! Be the best you can be!

Thanks for the encouragement Wolfman, PMO has robbed us of our youth, but it will NOT rob us of our prime, wishing you nothing but the best on your rebooting journey !
 
Day 42

Gloomy day + low energy level + too much free time = 0 productivity
I said I was gonna take it easy today but I guess I took it too easy lol, I basically wasted the whole day watching random Youtube videos on my iPad, felt like a potato.
Fortunately this will not carry over into tomorrow, as I need to write a work related report and do grocery shopping, which should take a big portion of the day.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

No, I did everything else but read, I have no excuses, will make up for it tomorrow.

What I did well today ?

Nothing

What I did poorly today ?

Wasted a day by doing nothing, well, at least I didn't spend hours watching p like I used to

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Be more productive, and I MUST make up for the lack of reading today, or else 1 day of slacking will turn into 2,3,4,5 etc.
On a side note, I still don't enjoy reading, I know it's a good habit to have and I'm reading about things that pique my interest, but man...as soon as I start reading I get drowsy
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Hi Pursuitofinnocence

The difference here that you should feel good about is, because you are holding yourself accountable through both the non-negotiable tasks that you've set yourself as well as your journaling, you've been able to identify this before it can become a serious problem.

Keep going, reassess & refine the process where necessary.

You've got this!
 
Orbiter said:
Hi Pursuitofinnocence

The difference here that you should feel good about is, because you are holding yourself accountable through both the non-negotiable tasks that you've set yourself as well as your journaling, you've been able to identify this before it can become a serious problem.

Keep going, reassess & refine the process where necessary.

You've got this!

Hello Orbiter, starting an accountability journal here is definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I'm very grateful for this supportive community.
I've been following your journal and I'm glad you're taking a more structural approach to rebooting, I think this is the key to long term success since motivation can only carry us so far before we fall back to our old habits. Wishing you nothing but the best on your rebooting journey !
 
Day 43

Finally we got some much needed sunlight, I took full advantage of it by going for a long walk in the morning while listening to a podcast, there's no better way to start a day than soaking in sunlight, it makes us feel alive. I am also glad to say that I've been much more productive today, I made a to do list in the morning and crossed every single one of them off by evening, it's such a satisfying feeling.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, exercised in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

I did everything I said I would do today

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Monitor my thoughts closely when I'm stressed, leave the desk immediately and get some water/tea when urges creep up, last time it was way too close for comfort
 
Day 44

Don't really have much to write about except I'm very looking forward to Saturday, which will be my cheat day (food, not PMO, hell no)

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, exercised in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Immediately took a small break when I realized stress was building up

What I did poorly today ?

None

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Same as usual, do whatever is needed to combat my p addiction, remind myself what kind of person I would like to be
 
Day 45

Today I was tested once again at work, it was very stressful from the get-go, fortunately I was able to recognize that I was getting irritated so I took multiple small breaks to cool off. From now on, I will be adding a short box breathing session during lunch break, I think it would allow me to reset and prepare for the afternoon.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

Yes, I went to bed and woke up early, exercised in the morning, completed my daily personal journal entry, did two rounds of box breathing and read at least 10 pages of book.

What I did well today ?

Immediately took a small break when I realized stress was building up

What I did poorly today ?

Got irritated at things outside of my control, it's way too mentally taxing, I have to learn to let go

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

When I get irritated, tell myself that I can only control what I can control, so I should let go of things that are outside of my control.
 
Day 46

I was in a very bad mood today, I wasn't able to meditate properly, every little things made me agitated, I felt out of sync with myself.
Perhaps it's the lockdown effect? I don't know, what I'm craving is a long walk in the sun, out in the nature, away from all the bullshit at work, with people.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

No, I wasn't able to bring myself to do anything productive

What I did well today ?

None

What I did poorly today ?

I don't know

What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

I will try to get a good night's sleep, hopefully this moodiness will go away tomorrow, after all, tomorrow will be another opportunity to better myself, I'd be an idiot not to seize it. Good night folks.
 
Day 47

(This is Thursday's entry)

Still feeling down, unmotivated, taking a day off on Friday.

Have I completed all the daily non-negotiable tasks ?

No, I wasn't able to bring myself to do anything productive

What I did well today ?

None

What I did poorly today ?



What my focus will be for tomorrow ?

Rest, workout, get some sunlight, watch a movie or play some video games, anything but work and/or watching p
 
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