This time I have to quit it for good!

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 21 without PMO. 3 weeks already! I looks like it has been much longer than that. No morning wood today, no urges, no withdrawals symptoms I hope I get healed soon. My next goal is 35 days! 14 days to reach my next goal!
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Finishing day 21 without PMO. Today there was no erections at all. Hope I could get healed faster but it seems 90 days an average amount of days required to start rewiring. I get a little upset that men with PIED takes longer to heal but well I did this to myself and I must face it and take matter into my hands(no pun intended) I can overcome this I know that I can recover. I know it and I will prove it to myself. Day 22 here I come!
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 22 without PMO. I woke up but i did not have a morning wood right away but after a couple a minutes a got a dog morning wood 90% which was like 8 minutes and did kegel exercises. But most of the day is dead. Hope my brain heals soon.next goal 35 days days.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
I am finishing day 22 without PMO. no urges at all, the only thing I struggle with is my thoughts about how I could not perform the last time, and this girl goes really distant, I thought that perhaps I could have another chance to start rewiring but no. She seems that does not want to be involved with me at all not even in a friendly way as before. I wonder did I make her feel bad or not attractive because I did not get it up? I tried to approach her in a friendly way but she told me that she preferred to do what she was doing at that moment alone. Since then I have kept my distance from her and there is no communication at all. I knew that I had a problem with PMO and she was the one who made me realize that I do not want to continue like that, I know that I am doing it for myself. But perhaps without her, I would have continued PMOing since I could get it up with P. It seems that when doing PMO even your thoughts are numbed and now I can feel more and I feel upset. I feel with more energy, more focus, my thoughts, in general, are more clear. But as well now I tend to think more and feel more. Perhaps I am thinking too much and this girl is already with another guy or whatever. ugg so pathetic, I need to quit this thing PMO I hate it, I hate what I have done to myself, I hate how porn is looked at as something normal, how stupid people especially men idolize these fucking prostitutes aka porn stars, I hate that I found porn so young and I wish I could have stopped me. I need peace in my mind, I am not going PMO definitely, but I need to stop thinking about these stupid things as the girl's thought since I know I will never get answers. Perhaps this feeling is also a withdrawal symptom and I did not notice. Well, this is it for today, tomorrow is day 23. Wish I could recover faster but I do not want days to go that fast. Much love to all of you guys who are fighting.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Have u tryed sex during reboot did it work?
Hello MoreConfident did not have the chance but I guess it would not work very well yet. I hace morning woods and every time they look harder and longer but the rest of the day, penis is sleeping but sometime I had random erections. Today I say a woman who greeted me and she was beautiful or perhaps it is that I am learning to appreciate more I feel something down there but no erection. Hopefully I will start having more erections during the day, last time it took me 35 days approximately to feel much better. But as I have read this varies from person to person. Good luck man and much love!
 
Hello MoreConfident did not have the chance but I guess it would not work very well yet. I hace morning woods and every time they look harder and longer but the rest of the day, penis is sleeping but sometime I had random erections. Today I say a woman who greeted me and she was beautiful or perhaps it is that I am learning to appreciate more I feel something down there but no erection. Hopefully I will start having more erections during the day, last time it took me 35 days approximately to feel much better. But as I have read this varies from person to person. Good luck man and much love!
i always have MW but never random erections
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 24 did not wake with morning wood but after two minutes I got a 80% (perhaps more, it was hard enough penetrate) morning wood. No urges but i am feeling some withdrawals symptoms I feel most of the day calm, I have clear thinking but I guess that I feel a little anxious about recovering and a little sad for things that perhaps would not have moved before. I read that when PMO is removed not only your little buddy stops being numbed but also your feelings. This can be positive or negative, positive because you will start enjoying life and simple things, appreciate the beauty of a women (if straight) but sadness also will give a bigger impact. Day 24, next goal 35 days!
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Cannot sleep well. Cause the girl I tried to fuck (could not perform) 25 days aho was fucking my roommate some minutes ago and i have to step outside. America is certainly crazy and women they are crazy too here. Oh well it is day 25 without PMO I have been reading the book wack: addicted to internet porn and it is an awesome book about the progress of a guy who succeeded. I hope I get healed too. 10 more days for the next goal.
 

Wolfman

Active Member
Cannot sleep well. Cause the girl I tried to fuck (could not perform) 25 days aho was fucking my roommate some minutes ago and i have to step outside. America is certainly crazy and women they are crazy too here. Oh well it is day 25 without PMO I have been reading the book wack: addicted to internet porn and it is an awesome book about the progress of a guy who succeeded. I hope I get healed too. 10 more days for the next goal.
Oooff, that's gotta be an emotional sting. You did the right thing to step out (and, if you didn't already, take a walk or go for a run). Don't let it be fuel for your own pity and need for satisfaction. You're on a bigger path here than having fun-time with girls just for the sake of that--you will have that, but you'll have it on your terms (you're not a slave to your desire, to pleasure or satisfaction). We want not just to have it, but to have it good (to just have it leads to denigration of one's self-worth and dignity; and porn is the worst, it gives us the illusion of having it). I read this recently in a book that I found empowering:

We opt for more instead of better
But better is better than more

Hang in there zackergeet! You're not alone in feeling such emotional chaos.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Oh Wolfman, it was a emotional sting. I makes you feel less and it made me think about that perhaps i was not enough. I am not doing PMO. But I wonder what is that woman’s head, did she know that I sleep next to the guy she was fucking. Can people be that de attached after having sex with another, I know that some people they have sex and there is no love of course but is it possible not feel any affection feeling at all. Thank you for cheering me up man. I don’t if it was because of that or because I slept too little, today I have no morning wood. Thank you for reading, never thought this would happen to me.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Still strong thought this would take a toll on me but here I am still hanging in there.25 days already! No morning wood today, I have to recover for me for myself. I want to be better for me and be the man I am
Supposed to be I cannot believe o have spent almost 18 years doing this shit. I hate it, everybody treats porn as something normal, funny thing is that I when PMO I would have mixed feeling towards the prostitutes (aka porn actresses) performing since I would get aroused but also I would hate them that it seems they enjoy and can have sex and me I was just watching I wanted to be part of it. But after no PMO that hatred towards them it is just a small point that I don’t notice it, I stop caring. I was on Facebook and a video about them would appear talking about their experiences and I was this is bs, why would I care about that, why people admire them if they are just plain prostitutes, it is like admiring a guys who would sleep with old and ugly woman for money. Well I am glad I found this forum and all the books about it, my anger, sadness, emotions they getting balanced little by little and I feel better. I have just to be careful when starting to rewire. Much love to all of who are fighting this battle like me.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 26 without PMO. MW: yes 80%, libido: 0. No urges, withdrawal symptoms: just some emotions that are stronger but not a bad thing overall. 14 more days to get to my next goal.
 
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