I hope this is the last stage of my battle


Don?t let this process take over your life. You should live your life to the fullest and bot limit yourself from being with other people.
Stqr73, keep it up! I know the feeling of being desired by women but not being able to reciprocate that with confidence because of PMO.. It is crippling and can even make your self-esteem go lower. But, the further you get from PMO the better of your confidence, assurance, self worth, etc. will be.

We are both in this battle together, praying for you and your recovery today.


stqr73 said:
Day 11. Gave exam and I have very less chance of passing. It's not that I can't study to pass rather I am focused on reboot rather than stressing myself to study whether or not I am clean. First priority is being clean second is this degree. After initial reboot stage journey is comparatively easier. I am not making excuses for failure rather I am focused on being clean. To be honest I had much higher self confidence than usual. I am happy with that thing . Mind was clutter free. Always being A student to not care about studies means I am f*** serious about recovery. Of course I will ace these exams later but right now I want myself back . After that I will rock in these exams after six months or so. There is nothing more harder than an addict trying to de addict himself. The amount of discipline, research, commitment for this thing is way higher than any exam or degree.

Bingo. That's what I tell people sometimes. Quitting porn is already very hard in itself and some people are suffocated enough by this to be able to do other hard things at the same time. But make sure you are done with porn by the time you have to take the exams, don't relapse a few days before them like I used to do before important events. I would say: "By the time that thing happens I will be X number of days porn free" only to go there with like a 2 days long streak following a binge.
Hey man, I haven't read your entire journal, but I've read some of it, great job! You have a noble thing going on with regards to your motivation to quit. One thing I did see a couple times in your journal is related to what you term "leakage". I just wanted to chime in and let you know this is most likely due to a weakened pelvic floor muscles, which is a common thing after years spent in addiction like us. You can actually alleviate this symptom and get rid of it by doing kegel exercises to strengthen these muscles. This will prevent any leakage of any kind, you will have completely control over these muscles. As an added benefit it can also increase how long you last in bed when you finally do have a wife, and makes sure you don't have premature ejaculation which is another common problem among people with our addiction for exactly the same reason: weak pelvic floor muscles and lack of control. These exercises are super easy to do and can do them at anytime in the day no matter where you are, no one can notice it. Just google kegel exercises for men or something there's lots of guides out there. Takes about 10 minutes a day and you can see if that helps! Good luck man and keep going!


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Looks like your currently bouncing back from harder times, and managed to overcome some pretty difficult urges. Keep going, keep doing things for yourself to gain some self-love and self-confidence during the process. I wish you all the best!