Discovering my potential through rebooting
- Thread starter Dantes
- Start date
Dantes
Active Member
Day 4
Back again. Updated the first post in an attempt to start journaling here again, since for me it has granted the best results in abtstaining from pornography.
Since last years attempt, life has went pretty well and I would still consider my self somewhat high functioning porn addict. But I won't truly be satisfied with myself unless I'm able to cut porn away from my life, especially as I'm on the verge of getting married and planning to start a family.
Anyway, I'll see you later.
Back again. Updated the first post in an attempt to start journaling here again, since for me it has granted the best results in abtstaining from pornography.
Since last years attempt, life has went pretty well and I would still consider my self somewhat high functioning porn addict. But I won't truly be satisfied with myself unless I'm able to cut porn away from my life, especially as I'm on the verge of getting married and planning to start a family.
Anyway, I'll see you later.
Dantes
Active Member
Day 6
Easier couple of days, since I haven't had any time alone. Now the hard part begins: I'm working remotely and when working from home, the temptation has often times lead to a relapse. Now my plan is to go work in a separate room we have in our building. If that doesn't seem to work, I might have to go to a café or book a working space elsewhere. One of the easiest ways to avoid relapsing is to structure your life in a way that there's no significant time alone. It's easier when you're in a relationship. Working remotely seemed like the greatest thing since I don't have to commute, but in case of rebooting, it's a nightmare. Since tomorrow I'm doing other stuff, I should be fine until next week if I can tackle today.
See you later.
Easier couple of days, since I haven't had any time alone. Now the hard part begins: I'm working remotely and when working from home, the temptation has often times lead to a relapse. Now my plan is to go work in a separate room we have in our building. If that doesn't seem to work, I might have to go to a café or book a working space elsewhere. One of the easiest ways to avoid relapsing is to structure your life in a way that there's no significant time alone. It's easier when you're in a relationship. Working remotely seemed like the greatest thing since I don't have to commute, but in case of rebooting, it's a nightmare. Since tomorrow I'm doing other stuff, I should be fine until next week if I can tackle today.
See you later.
Dantes
Active Member
Day 0
Another day of two relapses. These are the days when I feel the most sickened with myself. Life has given me so many opportunities and I simply waste away masturbating to pornography. Getting tired of this. At least there are couple of new sites to add to my blocker. And as of today, I truly had the time and the chance to get out of the house but I didn't, until it was too late. I can't think of anything more than to just get away from the house the first thing in the morning.
I'll see you later.
Another day of two relapses. These are the days when I feel the most sickened with myself. Life has given me so many opportunities and I simply waste away masturbating to pornography. Getting tired of this. At least there are couple of new sites to add to my blocker. And as of today, I truly had the time and the chance to get out of the house but I didn't, until it was too late. I can't think of anything more than to just get away from the house the first thing in the morning.
I'll see you later.
Keep going brother . Your battle inspire me and doesn’t matter how many times you fall you come back up
Dantes
Active Member
Thank you! Every bit of encouragement is golden at this stage.Keep going brother . Your battle inspire me and doesn’t matter how many times you fall you come back up
Day 4
Pretty smooth sailing as I'm again having couple of days without alone time. Except, yesterday I managed to leave our place early in the morning in order to study, so that is promising. Also, I've managed to keep up meditation habit which might prove useful in coming days. Tomorrow is already challenging, as I'm supposed to work remotely.
See you later.
FrankWhite12
Member
Keep going Dantes! I like that you're meditating, can really help to be aware of your actions (and maybe react when you're about to do sth stupid, that is, view P.). All the best to you.
Frank
Dantes
Active Member
I agree. Meditation appears to give some clarity of mind and it's easier to sense thoughts wandering towards PMO.
Day 6
Meditation might well be the thing that saved me today. Started morning off great with meditating and working, but then got lazy around noon. Despite spending time home alone, didn't end up PMOing, but it was closed. So today was definitely unnecessarily risky. Tomorrow should be better, as I'm not tied to my apartment for work. Vigilance is needed, nevertheless.
See you later.
Dantes
Active Member
Day 9
I've somehow avoided relapse for last two to three challenging days. I have lots of things to do, but I've also had times when I'm home alone and I've been sure to end up relapsing, but somehow I haven't. It might be the meditating making me more mindful of things, but I shouldn't things to a chance if I want to continue my streak. Next week will already have some challenging days on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday as those are the remote work days. However, if I can get through those, the weekend should be easy as I'm leaving for a short trip with girlfriend. So now my strategy involves two tactics: meditation and not staying home.
See you later.
I've somehow avoided relapse for last two to three challenging days. I have lots of things to do, but I've also had times when I'm home alone and I've been sure to end up relapsing, but somehow I haven't. It might be the meditating making me more mindful of things, but I shouldn't things to a chance if I want to continue my streak. Next week will already have some challenging days on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday as those are the remote work days. However, if I can get through those, the weekend should be easy as I'm leaving for a short trip with girlfriend. So now my strategy involves two tactics: meditation and not staying home.
See you later.
Dantes
Active Member
Day 14
This week has gone surprisingly well. I've not only managed to abstain from PMO, but have been way more productive than earlier this fall. Not to say that there haven't been challenges, as couple of days I've been sure that my behaviour would lead to relapse, but somehow I've managed to stop. I still credit at least some of this to meditation practice, which I've managed to keep up almost daily. This weekend should not pose a challenge, as I've written above. I'll probably report back on sunday or next week.
This week has gone surprisingly well. I've not only managed to abstain from PMO, but have been way more productive than earlier this fall. Not to say that there haven't been challenges, as couple of days I've been sure that my behaviour would lead to relapse, but somehow I've managed to stop. I still credit at least some of this to meditation practice, which I've managed to keep up almost daily. This weekend should not pose a challenge, as I've written above. I'll probably report back on sunday or next week.
how are you doing your meditation practice? really glad bro your on day 14, keep going
Dantes
Active Member
Day 0
Last couple of weeks have been a bit rocky with 5-7 relapses in total. I have increased exercise quite a bit, which seems to be a double-edged sword: less urges because I'm channeling my energy, but when I overexert I lose energy and I'm more likely to fail meditation practice and things start to fall apart. However, giving up is not an option so here we go again.
See you soon
Last couple of weeks have been a bit rocky with 5-7 relapses in total. I have increased exercise quite a bit, which seems to be a double-edged sword: less urges because I'm channeling my energy, but when I overexert I lose energy and I'm more likely to fail meditation practice and things start to fall apart. However, giving up is not an option so here we go again.
See you soon
Dantes
Active Member
Day 5
Yesterday I felt was a kind of watershed day for me. I needed to work on a project alone from home and historically this is very bad for me rebooting-wise. But, I was well prepared having eaten well, exercised and kept up meditation habit. I managed to finish my project. This is a huge relief for me and a sign that I might be able to work from home while rebooting. Currently trying to stay the course and have a refreshing day off to pull off another remote working day succesfully tomorrow.
Yesterday I felt was a kind of watershed day for me. I needed to work on a project alone from home and historically this is very bad for me rebooting-wise. But, I was well prepared having eaten well, exercised and kept up meditation habit. I managed to finish my project. This is a huge relief for me and a sign that I might be able to work from home while rebooting. Currently trying to stay the course and have a refreshing day off to pull off another remote working day succesfully tomorrow.