culturalsushi
Member
Hi all,
I am coming to this website because I have struggled with porn virtually my entire life. I am a 19-year-old male college student, and my dream is to become a biology professor. Here is some background about how I realized my addiction:
I first encountered porn at a very young age, unsure of its allure, but soon I was hooked onto its novelty. I used it incessantly. I believe my initial use of porn was to cope with my sexuality?I am a gay male in an Asian family. Throughout the pandemic, my porn use skyrocketed because I unfortunately lost a close family member, so I resorted to porn to escape. Recently, I came out to my parents and thought my porn usage would stop once I recognized why I was using it. However, I am still having a really hard time battling with it.
I tried rebooting, and every four days (approximately) I relapse. After using porn, I feel utterly disgusting and embarrassed with myself. I wake up the next morning with a dull ache in my chest, in fact. I know some of my current use of porn has to do with me being lonely (I've never dated, kissed, or touched anyone because I was never comfortable doing so until I came out to my parents). I hate the cycle because not only is it exhausting. It is not allowing me to perform at my maximum potential academically and physically.
I am writing this journal because my previous strategies have not been working. A big trigger of mine is being in the apartment alone when my apartment-mates leave. Earlier today, I did avoid an urge by going outside to run, but as soon as my roommate left, the urges started kicking in intensely.
I really want to stop because porn is consuming me and threatening my future. I plan on updating this journal daily for accountability, and hopefully, whoever reads this can reach out and become an accountability partner. I am sick of feeling exhausted after porn, and my happiness is not where it could be.
I am determined to fight this addiction and become a true man.
I am coming to this website because I have struggled with porn virtually my entire life. I am a 19-year-old male college student, and my dream is to become a biology professor. Here is some background about how I realized my addiction:
I first encountered porn at a very young age, unsure of its allure, but soon I was hooked onto its novelty. I used it incessantly. I believe my initial use of porn was to cope with my sexuality?I am a gay male in an Asian family. Throughout the pandemic, my porn use skyrocketed because I unfortunately lost a close family member, so I resorted to porn to escape. Recently, I came out to my parents and thought my porn usage would stop once I recognized why I was using it. However, I am still having a really hard time battling with it.
I tried rebooting, and every four days (approximately) I relapse. After using porn, I feel utterly disgusting and embarrassed with myself. I wake up the next morning with a dull ache in my chest, in fact. I know some of my current use of porn has to do with me being lonely (I've never dated, kissed, or touched anyone because I was never comfortable doing so until I came out to my parents). I hate the cycle because not only is it exhausting. It is not allowing me to perform at my maximum potential academically and physically.
I am writing this journal because my previous strategies have not been working. A big trigger of mine is being in the apartment alone when my apartment-mates leave. Earlier today, I did avoid an urge by going outside to run, but as soon as my roommate left, the urges started kicking in intensely.
I really want to stop because porn is consuming me and threatening my future. I plan on updating this journal daily for accountability, and hopefully, whoever reads this can reach out and become an accountability partner. I am sick of feeling exhausted after porn, and my happiness is not where it could be.
I am determined to fight this addiction and become a true man.