Thanks for the reply, Guitar
I'm hoping to get further into recovery first and start feeling like I can stay away from porn for a while on my own, but then I think I'll have to sit down with her and talk.
Yeh, I know what you mean. We're more in control and confidant with a streak. I was vulnerable, and in that cycle of shame and humiliation when I had to reveal myself. Not fun.
I do worry that confessing this problem will end up being the thing that ends our marriage. I'm sure many feel this way. I'm not so sure that is necessarily a bad thing.
That's really tough. If you can beat this on your own - or at least get a really long streak, you might see a change in the relationship. Porn numbs my love, empathy, life force... , so you may become very motivated to save the marriage in time. well done on 40 plus days - that is great. I'm following your journey and hope for the best for you.
day 6
I'm still post-confession SOBER. Telling the wife was like a bucket of cold water. those 50 50 moments of 'should I?' don't exist - I can't rock this boat. Wife had a couple of tearful moments over the weekend. It's 'good' to see the damage I've been doing in the clear light of day. This is the consequence of my actions. Man, it wasn't easy though. The thought fleeted through my mind - i wish i hadn't told her. She's disappointed in me, it would have been easier to soldier on by myself.
There are some appealing things I'd like to look at. But all I have to do is not indulge, and i'll be winning this battle I've been in for years, a battle that's been dominating my life. Sounds like a pretty good deal. first real challenge is home alone tomorrow evening. As Phin said a week ago, it would be good to enjoy this time, instead of feeling like a prisoner or hostage. I've sent out some social offers, had no reply, but if I'm alone, i'll plan activities and be mindful with my time. Cheers!
I'm hoping to get further into recovery first and start feeling like I can stay away from porn for a while on my own, but then I think I'll have to sit down with her and talk.
Yeh, I know what you mean. We're more in control and confidant with a streak. I was vulnerable, and in that cycle of shame and humiliation when I had to reveal myself. Not fun.
I do worry that confessing this problem will end up being the thing that ends our marriage. I'm sure many feel this way. I'm not so sure that is necessarily a bad thing.
That's really tough. If you can beat this on your own - or at least get a really long streak, you might see a change in the relationship. Porn numbs my love, empathy, life force... , so you may become very motivated to save the marriage in time. well done on 40 plus days - that is great. I'm following your journey and hope for the best for you.
day 6
I'm still post-confession SOBER. Telling the wife was like a bucket of cold water. those 50 50 moments of 'should I?' don't exist - I can't rock this boat. Wife had a couple of tearful moments over the weekend. It's 'good' to see the damage I've been doing in the clear light of day. This is the consequence of my actions. Man, it wasn't easy though. The thought fleeted through my mind - i wish i hadn't told her. She's disappointed in me, it would have been easier to soldier on by myself.
There are some appealing things I'd like to look at. But all I have to do is not indulge, and i'll be winning this battle I've been in for years, a battle that's been dominating my life. Sounds like a pretty good deal. first real challenge is home alone tomorrow evening. As Phin said a week ago, it would be good to enjoy this time, instead of feeling like a prisoner or hostage. I've sent out some social offers, had no reply, but if I'm alone, i'll plan activities and be mindful with my time. Cheers!