in search of support

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Tomi

Member
Hi beautiful amazing people! :)
I'm Tomi from Slovenia, Europe and I'm a new member here. During my current relationship I found out I'm addicted to pornography and since then me and my partner are dealing with it. In 3 years I had few (2 or 3) major slip-ups when I watched porn and masturbate otherwise I was keeping myself away from watching. During this period I didn't have any accountability partner for support which made things more challenging. Today is more than 10 months since my last major scene and I just finished reading Your brain on porn what motivated me to search support online. So here I am 8)
More than 6 months ago I started working on my issue on a deeper level as I joined a two month program with a mentor, started to attend psychotherapist and men's group once a week. Consequently I have less cravings and I feel more stable but for some time now I'm often distracted by real women's curves. That makes me feel even more guilty as watching porn as I rarely had this kind of distraction when I was single (I was even condemning it). Another thing is that I'm feeling less attraction to my beloved and I'm struggling to take charge in bed. Both is a huge frustration for me and I'm feeling really scared.
Did anyone experience the same or similar shifts? I'll be immensely grateful for any information or suggestion...
Much love to all of you
 
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JnanaYogiKarmaYogi

Member
Hi, Tomi!
Welcome to the forum. I think that you are on the right track. Just keep pushing through. And as far as getting distracted by real curves- well yeah that is something that I went through and am currently going through too after quitting pornography although I did not experience this distraction before. But I look at it in a positive way and feel that since I was earlier addicted to pornography, my brain didn't find real women attractive but I find this distraction that I am experiencing as a symptom of a positive change viz. my gradual and slow return of attraction towards real women.
 
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Tomi

Member
Hey JnanaYogiKarmaYogi!
Thanks for your reply, means a lot. Are you currently in a relationship too? How long are you "clean"? How often do you experience distractions?
Blessings brother!
 
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Tomi

Member
@Gambitchco: thanks for your support, brother🙏 did you experience similar symptoms?
@JnanaYogiKarmaYogi: the most frustrating thing is that I'm clean for 11 months now but the distractions are still here...the thing is that pornography is just a consequence of unprocessed emotions and needs from our childhood so I need to dig deeper...I need to face my inner child...
 
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JnanaYogiKarmaYogi

Member
Tomi said:
@Gambitchco: thanks for your support, brother🙏 did you experience similar symptoms?
@JnanaYogiKarmaYogi: the most frustrating thing is that I'm clean for 11 months now but the distractions are still here...the thing is that pornography is just a consequence of unprocessed emotions and needs from our childhood so I need to dig deeper...I need to face my inner child...
Click to expand...

I think if the connections still seem to be there after 11 months then it might be a case of Post-Acute-Withdrawal Symptoms
 
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Tomi

Member
@JnanaYogiKarmaYogi: do you know any book that addresses this symptoms? I've already read Your brain on porn and books related to emotional incest (Silently seduced, The emotional incest syndrome, When he's married to mom).
 
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JnanaYogiKarmaYogi

Member
Tomi said:
@JnanaYogiKarmaYogi: do you know any book that addresses this symptoms? I've already read Your brain on porn and books related to emotional incest (Silently seduced, The emotional incest syndrome, When he's married to mom).
Click to expand...
Umm no I don't think that I know any books on it, sorry bro.
 
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