13/04/2021
Hello, so I am 20 and I knew about nofap before for health reasons, etc. so I even tried it a few years ago but didn't go through, I wasn't really motivated to be fair, I just wanted to try. Fast forward a few years later and I've solved many of my problems while still having many to work on, even though I essentially feel better for a lot of stuff. The first time I can recall where I was touching myself to something "artificial" is when I was around 8 years old, watching the TV in the living room while my parents weren't home. I can vividly remember that I had an orgasm the first time while watching a "simple" porn video at 11 years. I've since then masturbated more than once a day for years, it started with fantasizing with my mind about people I knew and people I watched in porn, but the years passed and the more I went ahead the less I could masturbate with just my fantasy and the more I NEEDED porn to masturbate. I never thought it was a problem because I never had many sexual experiences anyway (I was the bullied nerd stereotype, etc.). I actually had sex a few times when I was 19 and honestly never had any ED problem, but I think I always had a hard time having an orgasm, but I thought it was just normal, maybe due to anxiety or something like that (I was shaking the first time, to be honest). Here comes the real deal, I always had other problems in my life, mostly involving my mental health, that I was too involved in them to see this was happening too. I went to university 2 years ago and that was absolutely devastating, went through depression (AGAIN, which made me feel like I had no progress since I was younger) and other issues, had a new diagnosis, etc. What I didn't realize was that maybe, just maybe, not having anything to do with a girl for 2 years while masturbating 5 times a day wasn't good for me. A few months ago I felt confident again so I could try dating again after I dealt with my other problems, and it finally worked! I met a beautiful girl and started to date her until for the first time we tried to be together and it didn't work out. I felt absolutely mortified, we talked about it a few times and went on to search for a solution. I take some medicines for some of my mental issues, and one of them causes ED commonly so that's what I thought about, while also thinking about performance anxiety; I tried to fix the problem by working on these 2 things but honestly, it just won't work. I kept doing some research while trying to make this work (I want me and my girlfriend to be as happy as possible obviously) and I finally found this website just yesterday, I read as much info as I could over here and over YBOP and I think I match the symptoms quite well. My sex drive is lower than it was a few years ago, I can't get a full erection without porn videos, and even there I have to be very very specific to have something to work with, which doesn't go to 100% anyway. I get some "responses" from my body with my girlfriend but they're nothing you could work with for the "main interaction". I don't know if it's good that I generally watch fewer videos compared to when I just arrived at university but I hope that's the case because I want to recover as fast as possible. I love my girlfriend, she's comprehensive and I will talk to her about "Reboots" tonight when we meet. I plan to not have any contact with artificial stimulations whatsoever while still having some fun with my girlfriend, probably going to try not to orgasm too if I can manage to do it. Not sure of how hard it can be, but I've quit multiple addictions already, the last one being nicotine some months ago. I obviously hope this works out well as soon as possible and I will try to keep the journal updated every day, in hope of a better life, with better sex and better health!
Hello, so I am 20 and I knew about nofap before for health reasons, etc. so I even tried it a few years ago but didn't go through, I wasn't really motivated to be fair, I just wanted to try. Fast forward a few years later and I've solved many of my problems while still having many to work on, even though I essentially feel better for a lot of stuff. The first time I can recall where I was touching myself to something "artificial" is when I was around 8 years old, watching the TV in the living room while my parents weren't home. I can vividly remember that I had an orgasm the first time while watching a "simple" porn video at 11 years. I've since then masturbated more than once a day for years, it started with fantasizing with my mind about people I knew and people I watched in porn, but the years passed and the more I went ahead the less I could masturbate with just my fantasy and the more I NEEDED porn to masturbate. I never thought it was a problem because I never had many sexual experiences anyway (I was the bullied nerd stereotype, etc.). I actually had sex a few times when I was 19 and honestly never had any ED problem, but I think I always had a hard time having an orgasm, but I thought it was just normal, maybe due to anxiety or something like that (I was shaking the first time, to be honest). Here comes the real deal, I always had other problems in my life, mostly involving my mental health, that I was too involved in them to see this was happening too. I went to university 2 years ago and that was absolutely devastating, went through depression (AGAIN, which made me feel like I had no progress since I was younger) and other issues, had a new diagnosis, etc. What I didn't realize was that maybe, just maybe, not having anything to do with a girl for 2 years while masturbating 5 times a day wasn't good for me. A few months ago I felt confident again so I could try dating again after I dealt with my other problems, and it finally worked! I met a beautiful girl and started to date her until for the first time we tried to be together and it didn't work out. I felt absolutely mortified, we talked about it a few times and went on to search for a solution. I take some medicines for some of my mental issues, and one of them causes ED commonly so that's what I thought about, while also thinking about performance anxiety; I tried to fix the problem by working on these 2 things but honestly, it just won't work. I kept doing some research while trying to make this work (I want me and my girlfriend to be as happy as possible obviously) and I finally found this website just yesterday, I read as much info as I could over here and over YBOP and I think I match the symptoms quite well. My sex drive is lower than it was a few years ago, I can't get a full erection without porn videos, and even there I have to be very very specific to have something to work with, which doesn't go to 100% anyway. I get some "responses" from my body with my girlfriend but they're nothing you could work with for the "main interaction". I don't know if it's good that I generally watch fewer videos compared to when I just arrived at university but I hope that's the case because I want to recover as fast as possible. I love my girlfriend, she's comprehensive and I will talk to her about "Reboots" tonight when we meet. I plan to not have any contact with artificial stimulations whatsoever while still having some fun with my girlfriend, probably going to try not to orgasm too if I can manage to do it. Not sure of how hard it can be, but I've quit multiple addictions already, the last one being nicotine some months ago. I obviously hope this works out well as soon as possible and I will try to keep the journal updated every day, in hope of a better life, with better sex and better health!