40+ Years of Porn Addiction

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
I'm 53. I've been viewing porn since before I hit puberty. My parents had Playboy and Playgirl magazines in their bedrooms. My brothers and I would look at them all the time before we were even able to masturbate. Of course, going back it was much harder to find porn. The magazines we looked at had beautiful men and women in them, but they weren't having sex. Mostly it was just their beautiful bodies on display. As I grew up along with the internet coming of age, porn became easily accessible and my addiction deepened and took off in ways I never thought possible. Working from home for many years now, I had the ability to take porn breaks throughout my day. I would see how many times I could masturbate in a day. 3, 4 times. No problem. However, there was a problem. I was married. I started to not be able to get erections with my wife. She felt it was her. I wasn't attracted to her anymore. I assured her it was not that at all. And it isn't. I'm still very attracted to her. But I just can't shake this addiction.

I'm so tired of the addiction. I don't enjoy it. It's a compulsion now and I have to stop. Hopefully this sites and others like it will help. It's been so long I feel like I may need to seek outside help. However, I'm not ready or willing to discuss this with my family. I know this is probably not the best approach, but I don't want it to end my marriage.

I'll be reading a lot of your posts and writing here as much as I can. I feel better simply by writing this and putting it out in the world.

Thanks for reading.
 
It's hard to open up to your loved one. Porn is a hell of a drug. I aim still on this journey and all I can say is honesty makes it easier, but sometimes you have to time it right. Your wife might not understand, but if you educate yourself it will be easier. Wishing you the best on this journey and replace your porn habit with being an exceptional lover. You don't need an erection to please a woman, if you know what I mean. Be the best man/husband you can be! We are all rooting for you.
 
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