Hi, Guitar!
You'll look back one day and see all the changes you've made, and even the struggles you've had will be different, and your habits will be flipped on their head.
I know from the beginning there's been a certain ambivalence toward MO for you, is it a necessary tool for release? Does it feed into the over all addiction or habits? Should I do hardmode? Etc...
I know it can be confusing, but you will make the right choice that is most beneficial toward your overall sexual healing (Marvin Gaye?). If you're having issues staying hard during an MO session, it points to going hardmode until you 'reboot' and then you can figure out later how to 'rewire' with your wife- or where to go from there... But do it first for yourself.
If you decide to go hardmode but wish to keep your current streak going toward P and PMO, I would suggest using two counters. Maybe treat them as two different goals that will serve the same purpose, rebooting.
Either way, you're doing great and I wish you strength!
P.S., the idea of writing out your life goals is excellent, building the 'new you'!