HOW TO NOT HAVE MORE URGES
Quote from Atomic Habits by James Clear about eliminating bad habits:
''Autocontrol is a strategy of short term, not long term. You are capable to resist some tentation once or twice but is impossible that you can have enough will to win all your desires every time. Instead of depending on a new dose of will every time you want to do something, your energy would be better spent if you try to optimize your ambient. This is the secret of auto control. Turn the stimulus of your good habits clear and of your bad ones, invisible.
A more reliable approach to eliminate habits in the bud is to reduce your exposition to the stimulus that trigger them.''
That is a life-changer concept.
Relating that with my cure:
- I don't have to depend on my will to beat PMO, I am not resisting temptation! I just turned my stimulus invisible! What stimulus? The stimulus that triggered my desire to PMO:
- STIMULUS 1: holding my sexual energy or ignoring it for more than 2 weeks or trying to achieve 90 days without M and Sex, so I was so horny that PMO was so fck temptation.
What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
- I don't ignore my sexual energy and I do sex or M without escaping and without P.
- STIMULUS 2: I was working with something that was so boring, I hated it, and would give me urges every day, I NEEDED PMO TO ESCAPE from that.
What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
- I QUITED that fcking job and went after something I like to do! And I fcking find it!
- STIMULUS 3: I was so anxious about some problem that I needed PMO to feel better, to escape from that anxiety
What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
- I LEARNED how to deal with my fcking emotions! I know how to identify them. And I fcking attack the problem! I don't ignore it. I do what I can, what is my control! So I keep peace with my mind. I also meditate every fcking day 10 minutes. And I do therapy every fcking Thursday at 11:00 am. Result: I don't suffer from anxiety at a level that I need PMO to escape!
- STIMULUS 4: I was in a relationship where I wasn't happy! So I needed PMO to escape, to feel better.
What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
- I tried to change the person, I tried to change me (about what is important to me in a relationship), but that fcking doesn't work! So we broke up!
- STIMULUS 5: I had low self-esteem and couldn't have sex enough! Yes, it was scarce. So I needed PMO to escape from that scarcity state and to feel more confident.
What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
- I started to fcking develop my self (gym, courses, changing my career, diet, doing more things I like...)
- And I downloaded tinder and started to date girls! Initially, it was a nightmare. But with time I started to date some girls and boom! It isn't more of a problem for me!
So like I said, it is easy for me now because I don't need to fight against my urges, I don't need to resist my stimulus, I don't need to resist PMO! I fck attacked all them! Destroyed all of them! That is why I DON'T HAVE MORE URGES!
It is EASY for me to stay away from the cycle/loop of P->M->O because I destroyed those stimuli!
And if it is easy, you can be consistent.
What do you need to do to not have more urges? Find these stimuli in your life and destroy them! Turn them invisible! Don't depend solely on your motivation, on your willpower to fight PMO, you are doing wrong! Like I did for a long time.