This has to stop. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

JerryTX

Active Member
Day 55 today. Feeling really good and have not had any major urges/temptations to look. So happy and I know I still have a way to go to 90 but when I started this journey with PMO I never made it 30 days without. Saw this on a devotional this week and it is true.

Heavenly Father,
I confess my weakness and my frailty and my struggle against temptation (porn). So often I have failed (fail) and sin, but I know your WORD promises that YOU are gracious and compassionate. Because of JESUS, I have been purchased and redeemed. Thank You, faithful GOD! Strengthen and equip me as I pursue your righteousness in every area of my life. Let me bring YOU glory through the life you have restored (Or are restoring!). Amen

Thankful for this group and GOD bless you all!

Stay strong
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Day 58 and feeling pretty solid. Haven't had any urges except did have to click off IG this morning due to some context in my feed. The devil always finds a way right!! Proud that I blocked and moved on quickly with out staring or taking it further with links. AMEN!
"Dear brother when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1: 1-4

Well that was a test.. I passed and my endurance is growing!

Stay strong and GOD bless this site and group. Praying for all the posts I read and men willing to fight to win this ugly battle!
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 58 and feeling pretty solid. Haven't had any urges except did have to click off IG this morning due to some context in my feed. The devil always finds a way right!! Proud that I blocked and moved on quickly with out staring or taking it further with links. AMEN!
"Dear brother when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1: 1-4

Well that was a test.. I passed and my endurance is growing!

Stay strong and GOD bless this site and group. Praying for all the posts I read and men willing to fight to win this ugly battle!
Congratulations Jerry! We are almost right at the same point in our recovery. Day 57 for me. Sounds like you are figuring it out. Keep killing it! You can do this. I can do this. Phineas can do this... WE CAN ALL DO THIS!!!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Well day 69 is here! I feel really good about where I'm at with this journey. I haven't been online in awhile and I don't really "count" days as much now as when I first started. Heck I just realized by updating my "tracker" what day it actually was! I think this is a good thing for me.

A couple of things have happened since my last posts...
1. I felt like there was a flat line days 10-24 and then again on days 35 -50. This flatline was good in the fact I had little desire for P or anything sexual even with my wife.
2. My "urges/temptations" while not completely gone have become few and far between. I have built "endurance" to battle these and win!
3. Have started having sex with the wife weekly. My PIED has subsided and arousal has been strong. One note is I did take 1 5mg Sildenafil but I felt like this was more of a mental crutch. Moving forward I won't be using it.
4. My overall mental health has been so much better without PMO!

While I know I am and will continue to heal, I feel positive about my ability to rid myself of P for good! I will continue to read everyone's journey, and pray for success from the P demon! I will try to post again later this week but I have a very busy work week.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
While I know I am and will continue to heal, I feel positive about my ability to rid myself of P for good! I will continue to read everyone's journey, and pray for success from the P demon! I will try to post again later this week but I have a very busy work week.
This is fantastic. Glad to hear it's going so well for you!!!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey Jerry,

Just a quick note of thanks for your comments and support for my journal and also wanted to pass on my congrats for how well you are making out on your journey. As you mentioned, my you and Guitar-man are at similar stages I think ... and that helps to know there are others supporting us and just "being there" as we shake out the cobwebs and let the new normal take hold.

So .... not happy that you have to endure the recovery battle like the rest of us ... but glad that if it is to be that you are with us to battle this together. Stay strong.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Good job on day 69, Jerry! Good to be in that place where you don't have to be so mindful about counting, but can just coast without thinking about it.

Grateful for your marital successes as well.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Well today is day 76 with no PMO! It feels really good to get to this point. I am happy that the temptations / urges while not and probably never will be completely gone it is something that I feel to this point I have gotten strong enough to avoid. There are times I have to be aware of my boredom and also certain social media posts! 1 Peter 5:8. I am happy on my continued healing and thankful for this site! I will continue to visit here weekly and looking forward to everyone's succcess!
GOD BLESS YOU all and have a great week!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Day 83 and feeling pretty good. Had anniversary weekend with the wife and were able to have sex. Not sure if I'm the only one but usually the day or 2 after we have sex I get more urges. The urges come from thinking about what we did vs. P memories which I think is good. However it leads me to want to M at those thoughts. I don't want to do this and I am unclear in my mind if this is "good" or "bad". Good news is even with the urges I have not even considered turning to P! I feel so much more connected to my wife at this point in the journey and our sex life has improved. I also feel more attracted to her than ever! I feel confident that 1 week from today I will make it to 90 days without P!!!! While the journey will never be over, I can't think of a time in the last 15 years I have gone this long (WOW THAT WAS EMBARASSING TO WRITE!!) I hope everyone had a great PMO July 4th weekend! Stay strong brothers!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey Jerry - great to hear of your progress and the increased connectedness with your wife. Its funny you mention that because that is also how I have felt these recent weeks - kind of a rekindling with my wife and a greater desire to be with her. My guess is this is the unfreezing of my porn-dulled brain ... whatever it is, I like it. Stay strong my friend!
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Congratulations Jerry. We are both on a similar path. Although, I haven't even approached my wife for sex. I've been suffering from PIED for a long time and I need to work on my anxiety as well. I have had 4 MO's since starting, but none with porn and mostly fantasizing about my wife. Hey, I try to keep that porn out of my head, but it still slips in a bit. I have a ways to go! But at 82 days, I'm feeling pretty good and I'm super excited to see how well you are doing.

It's a strange place to make connections here, but talking to you guys who are on the same path and around the same point in the journey is just so helpful. So glad you keep posting.
 

Artemus

Active Member
Hope all is well, keep digging.
Day 83 and feeling pretty good. Had anniversary weekend with the wife and were able to have sex. Not sure if I'm the only one but usually the day or 2 after we have sex I get more urges. The urges come from thinking about what we did vs. P memories which I think is good. However it leads me to want to M at those thoughts. I don't want to do this and I am unclear in my mind if this is "good" or "bad". Good news is even with the urges I have not even considered turning to P! I feel so much more connected to my wife at this point in the journey and our sex life has improved. I also feel more attracted to her than ever! I feel confident that 1 week from today I will make it to 90 days without P!!!! While the journey will never be over, I can't think of a time in the last 15 years I have gone this long (WOW THAT WAS EMBARASSING TO WRITE!!) I hope everyone had a great PMO July 4th weekend! Stay strong brothers!
Its called the, "Chaser effect". Not sure how its rooted whether biological or psychological but its a common issue to have urges following normal activity. Congrats on 83.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Well here we are at DAY 90! I am proud of this accomplishment and the fact I have gone this long without looking at P. My hope is that I have truly turned the corner and can continue this porn free life! I am more confident than I have ever been and have gotten "stronger" over this journey. I also know I have and will continue to be "tempted" but my endurance and faith will prevail!! I also am prayful for all the people on this site as they struggle through this journey. I will continue to visit and post but just maybe not as frequent. I also don't plan on being vigilant on counting days as I would prefer to have the mindset that this is over!! I am blessed beyond measure and thankful to all on this site whose posts and journals have helped me get to DAY 90! Onward and upward my brothers and I hope that some of what I have written has inspired and helped others. Again I know this will always be something that I battle but making it this far I feel prepares me to win again and again!
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Congrats on DAY 90, brother!

You're an inspiration to all who still face this thing down! I know that you will go on, and continue to abstain, and enjoy this freedom.

How I've come to think about it is, that the 90 days- or however long- serves as a time of training on how to dismiss urges and just live life P/MO - free!

And I'm sure you have the necessary tools now, through your experiences, to stay clear of ever having to be bound to these ungodly habits ever again.

Don't be a stranger! Blessings.
 
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