Guitar while it's going good I to still have some struggles and temptations but I feel strong now to overcome them. This weekend when my wife left for a prolonged period of time I had to remove myself from my house as I could feel them coming on and I needed the flee the situation. Went for a drive, browsed Home Depot, and stayed away from home until I knew she was returning. Keep up the fight!
This has to stop. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
- Thread starter JerryTX
- Start date
Congrats on your journey. I'm also a believer. Reformed Baptist (Supralapsarian if you recognize that term) and struggled for years. Last year, I had a run of 271 days without PMO...then I fell back into viewing. But not the full PMO formula. I kept telling others, it's not the amount of times you fall, but the amount of times you get back up.
So, I started posting here again.
I'm sure we can encourage each other in some ways.
So, I started posting here again.
I'm sure we can encourage each other in some ways.
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Good plan Jerry. Of course at some point, we all have to spend time alone in our homes and make it through the day. I certainly hope we both get to that place sooner than later. Keep fighting.
This was my thinking also. Real freedom is when no one is home, and it's just you. In those times when we still don't give in to urges that we know we're fundamentally changing our habits.
Props on leaving the house to prevent a lapse, but trust that even if you stayed home, you can also dismiss the urges. And in a way, we kind of 'feed' the urges by running from them, if that makes sense.
But you have an awesome amount of days under your belt, keep going, brother!
I agree and have overcome the urges many times when home alone over the last 97 days. However, my "fleeing" the situation it removes those thoughts or temptations to open a browser or click to much on IG etc.. Sometimes fleeing is a walk, workout, reading etc.. This weekend I thought it best to just leave and not let boredom encourage the temptations. Just as Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife sometimes removing myself from the situation is the best course of action. Plus who doesn't enjoy walking around Home Depot
. I am traveling all week for work and know I will likely have some temptations but I also know I can overcome them now. Thanks as always @Phineas 808!
Stay strong @guitar1968 as I know you can do this and continue to win your battles!
. I am traveling all week for work and know I will likely have some temptations but I also know I can overcome them now. Thanks as always @Phineas 808!Stay strong @guitar1968 as I know you can do this and continue to win your battles!
submissivetoGod
Member
Thank you, brother in faith. Praying to God I found your posts and Pastor Craig's video. I am very happy and grateful to have discovered you in this purgatory. Let's follow each other to win this battle. Thank you, brother in faith. Praying to God I found your posts and Pastor Craig's video. I am very happy and grateful to have discovered you in this purgatory. Let's follow each other to win this battle. I am 66 days after a 90 day streak from January to Easter 2020. Together we will make it.
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Yes, I love Home Depot!!!I agree and have overcome the urges many times when home alone over the last 97 days. However, my "fleeing" the situation it removes those thoughts or temptations to open a browser or click to much on IG etc.. Sometimes fleeing is a walk, workout, reading etc.. This weekend I thought it best to just leave and not let boredom encourage the temptations. Just as Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife sometimes removing myself from the situation is the best course of action. Plus who doesn't enjoy walking around Home Depot
Stay strong @guitar1968 as I know you can do this and continue to win your battles!
Hope your travels go well. I have been very tempted on business trips without my wife present. Might want to find a local Home Depot, Lowes, Staples... any good store to take your mind off things! You got this! We got this!
It's kind of funny you guys mentioning Home Depot, especially as a distraction from other venues. Because in all honesty, even when I go to Home Depot, I'm anticipating seeing lovely women- yes, even at Home Depot!
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately I think that way at every store I go to. But, if you're walking around Home Depot, most of us can control ourselves enough to not fire up a browser on our phones and go to town!It's kind of funny you guys mentioning Home Depot, especially as a distraction from other venues. Because in all honesty, even when I go to Home Depot, I'm anticipating seeing lovely women- yes, even at Home Depot!
True that, Guitar! Even at Walmart, it may be a little out of place to 'go for the gusto' in public.
It's interesting, though. I've been having to take my afternoon walks at the mall (yes, the mall), as it's been way too hot outside. I prefer my alone time in the neighborhood, but need to keep my health up.
There's a long streak of time where walking in the mall would've been unthinkable without turning it into some kind of 'lust-fest', and I would've been constantly 'triggered' toward other unwanted behaviors later on. But now it's no big deal. I go on my walk, and believe it or not, think mostly on theological topics or think on scriptures, lol...! And all the beautiful women? I view that as a bonus, lol...! It's not even a matter of trying to control myself, mostly.
I'm just not in there as a predator at a meat-market. Yes, some are 'knockout' georgeous, but I see them more as human beings than I did before.
Be well.
Day 101 is today. I've traveled all week this week and had some strong temptations which I was able to overcome. Traveling and being "alone" in my hotel room used to mean PMO during the evening and morning. Not this time and not in the last 101 days. While I'm happy I did get the urge to MO in the AM. It started with waking up and fanaticizing about sex with the wife.. Which is good but I reached over grabbed my Iphone and opened IG. Well instead of clicking into some trouble, I gained my composure and got out of bed and opened the YOUVersion Bible app. Temptation averted but crazy how even at this point urges/temptations can be so strong. UGH!!! We leave on a trip next week and I know the 5 days away with my wife and son will be great. Heading into the weekend confident and thankful for this group.
1 Corinthians 10: 12-13 --I keep reading this over and over especially through my week of travel!
Praying for healing and strength for all on this site heading into the weekend!
We leave on a trip next week and I know the 5 days away with my wife and son will be great. Heading into the weekend confident and thankful for this group.1 Corinthians 10: 12-13 --I keep reading this over and over especially through my week of travel!
Praying for healing and strength for all on this site heading into the weekend!
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
As you know we are right around the same number of days and the triggers I fear are always going to be there. So, we have to learn to push them down and not let them control us. I'm getting there with the porn, need more help with the MO. Always another fun day. Keep at it @JerryTX
Day 104 and like I posted yesterday this weekend was the toughest in a long time. Yesterday I had some close battles with P Subs on IG. As usual started with some casual updates and then clicked one too many times. It was heading towards a bad place and pulling at me to follow and break this streak!!! Well I am happy to say I won but man it was difficult. My son comes home today and we leave Wednesday for vacation for 5 days so I know that will help. Crazy to think this far along and still get drawn into P. I am busy today and tomorrow with work so hoping yesterdays triggers are beyond me.
Thanks for all the encouraging words. Hang in there @guitar1968 !! We got this battle and we have come to far to let it win. I agree with you on the MO as during this streak I have MO without P 5X. I don't have an excuse but I use the one that my wife's sex drive isn't there and MO is the release. 5X isn't horrible but I am starting a No FAP streak as well.
Thanks for all the encouraging words. Hang in there @guitar1968 !! We got this battle and we have come to far to let it win. I agree with you on the MO as during this streak I have MO without P 5X. I don't have an excuse but I use the one that my wife's sex drive isn't there and MO is the release. 5X isn't horrible but I am starting a No FAP streak as well.
Jerry, are you counting up to a certain goal? And always keep in mind that if we feed or fight urges, they only get stronger. Learn that you're in control of yourself, that 'triggers' or whatever- even urges- can't make you do anything. It's habit that you need to watch for. So, clicking onto something is one thing, but do we repeat it the next time? This may keep certain neural pathways sensitized, and make our journey more difficult.
I'm often in the same boat, and challenge myself to make my journey easier on myself, and not set myself up for failure.
Blessings.
I'm often in the same boat, and challenge myself to make my journey easier on myself, and not set myself up for failure.
Blessings.
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Yeah, our paths are almost identical! I'm at 103 days no PMO, but I have MO 5 times. I've decided to stop letting it get me down. I used to masturbate every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day and now in 103 days I only masturbated 5 times and without porn. I didn't think it was possible 3 months ago. But I'm also with you about how I thought it would be easier once I got this far. It hasn't started dying down in me yet and in the last 2 weeks I would say it has gotten harder. I feel like I'm floating up in the air and gravity is starting to get stronger and stronger and it's harder to stay afloat. I'm hoping this will chill out soon. I'd be curious if other guys felt like this around 100 days and if so, how long did it last. I know we're all different but it certainly helps to hear other peoples experiences.
So hang in there. We're both doing great. We will slip from time to time, but we have to just keep moving forward.
Phineas I am not truly counting to a certain goal because my goal is to never go back to PMO. I agree about what we feed grows. PMO has not been fed in 105 days and I'm out to starve this PMO monster! Thanks as always for your encouragement and insight!
I see. I'm with you... Even after my current abstinence challenge (90 days) is over, I'll just live life with the intent of never going back to these habits..., but I'll continue to check in with a report of X-amount of days free.
I mentioned feeding and fighting (as both strengthening urges) above in response to what you were saying about urges. This applies whether we're discussing PMO, MO, or pics on IG.
You're doing awesome, and you're changing your life for the better!
Those are awesome stats, Guitar!
Long post here but it's been awhile with vacation since I have been on this site. Well vacation was good but came back to a slew of work and stress. Then came some immediate travel. On day 112 I am going to say that I had a relapse. Here's the situation. Found myself alone in my hotel room and working. Begin p-sub and edging with IG and others. Over the past 112 days I have been fighting these battles but I found the urge to keep clicking was so incredible strong. So I did click one time where I shouldn't have and a P video started playing. On a positive note, in my past that would have led to hours of straight P use and multiple PMOs throughout the night. The good news of all of this is I closed my phone in less than one minute into the video but the imagery was vivid in my mind and I MO. So whether I'm being too hard on myself which is likely, I feel this was a "relapse" as in the past 112 days I have not even gotten that far. But this time the click, the video started and I watched briefly but it lead to MO.
The amount of guilt and shame from this event consumed me throughout the rest of the evening and eventually found solace in praying and reading my bible. GODS grace is amazing and has helped me push through. I almost didn't even want to come on here and post as the guilt, shame, and disappointment was so severe. However, I know we are all going through this journey together and I wanted to write about this experience as it does also give me some peace.
I wake this morning still with some guilt and disappoint, but I know how far I have come in this journey. Therefore, I decided to "restart another reboot" and continue on my journey to eventually not giving in to those clicks that start a video. The strength & endurance I have gained did assist in me not watching the entire video but the MO to the imagery of what I saw is unacceptable. In the last 112 days without PMO and only 5 MOs has been incredible, but this new journey will now begin with the goal to eliminate MO as well.
GOD Bless you all !
1 Corinthians 6: 18-20
The amount of guilt and shame from this event consumed me throughout the rest of the evening and eventually found solace in praying and reading my bible. GODS grace is amazing and has helped me push through. I almost didn't even want to come on here and post as the guilt, shame, and disappointment was so severe. However, I know we are all going through this journey together and I wanted to write about this experience as it does also give me some peace.
I wake this morning still with some guilt and disappoint, but I know how far I have come in this journey. Therefore, I decided to "restart another reboot" and continue on my journey to eventually not giving in to those clicks that start a video. The strength & endurance I have gained did assist in me not watching the entire video but the MO to the imagery of what I saw is unacceptable. In the last 112 days without PMO and only 5 MOs has been incredible, but this new journey will now begin with the goal to eliminate MO as well.
GOD Bless you all !
1 Corinthians 6: 18-20