This has to stop. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

[JerryTX]

Just posting to report in. Even though I knew in advance struggles of traveling I did MO!!! It's like I wake up in the AM aroused and think why not the release. I guess good thing it's not to P fantasies, it's to wife fantasy. The struggle is real. I haven't PMO'd like I used to (which was watching 10-15 porn scenes since 4/13/2021). I have had 2 lapses during this time but it was from P subs/edging and arousal led to MO without full fledge video viewing. This is exactly what I believe Phineas refers to as red line behavior. Either way it's behavior that I need to learn to control. No MO just because I'm aroused in the AM, No MO just for release. So I started another MO challenge on Wednesday. UGH! So everyone that struggles on here your not alone. I am proud of what I have accomplished but I really need to remove these MO behaviors as I know they could lead me back to where I don't want to be.

I will state my triggers/temptations here as if I write them out, confess them to GOD, and begin to remove their power over me.

• Traveling
• Boredom
• Being alone
• P subs / edging with social media or google searches
• Lack of sex with the wife / feeling sorry for myself
• Alcohol or drinking which lowers my inhibitions

I pray that these not to have control over me. Grace and Peace RN!

 

[brandon1984]

Just posting to report in. Even though I knew in advance struggles of traveling I did MO!!! It's like I wake up in the AM aroused and think why not the release. I guess good thing it's not to P fantasies, it's to wife fantasy. The struggle is real. I haven't PMO'd like I used to (which was watching 10-15 porn scenes since 4/13/2021). I have had 2 lapses during this time but it was from P subs/edging and arousal led to MO without full fledge video viewing. This is exactly what I believe Phineas refers to as red line behavior. Either way it's behavior that I need to learn to control. No MO just because I'm aroused in the AM, No MO just for release. So I started another MO challenge on Wednesday. UGH! So everyone that struggles on here your not alone. I am proud of what I have accomplished but I really need to remove these MO behaviors as I know they could lead me back to where I don't want to be.

I will state my triggers/temptations here as if I write them out, confess them to GOD, and begin to remove their power over me.

• Traveling
• Boredom
• Being alone
• P subs / edging with social media or google searches
• Lack of sex with the wife / feeling sorry for myself
• Alcohol or drinking which lowers my inhibitions

I pray that these not to have control over me. Grace and Peace RN!

good to know the triggers! If my wife and I get into it, i know that's a huge trigger. We all just need more discipline. I have a vision board on my computer that states "No Discipline. No Success. Period." It's true. Also I have "Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17". We have to remember to do that even though we don't want to because what we TRULY want to do is give in to are sinful natures. It is what it is lol. We gotta put ourselves last, humble ourselves, and please God first over ourselves. I know it's easy to say, harder to do.

 

[JerryTX]

Unfortunately I am going to report in here with some bad news.. I am not going to type excuses or get down on myself, but I had a lapse. It was edging for awhile on Sunday and I was able to stop. Been home alone on Monday morning which led to edging on some google searches. Like my last "lapse" on 9/13 I didn't watch videos to PMO but unfortunately clicked to where I saw some pics/Gifs and the imagery led to MO. I want to be honest with myself and call it what it was. It is extremely disappointing but my perseverance and strength to not binge P for the rest of the day isn't there. I know my triggers which are above and throughout this thread but I ignored them.

There are 53 days left in 2021 and I will conquer those days! Really need to resist the google searches/edging/P subs over the next 53 days. I also need to focus on "hard mode" and not MO at all during this time. That is the goal.

Since I joined RN on 4/13 I have had 3 PMO lapses. I want to finish this year and not exceed that number. I know I can do it and I know how to do it. I need to eliminate the mental side of this addiction and really focus. My journey to 12/31/2021 starts today! I reread through my journal and need to get more intentional with my daily devotions, Bible study, and prayer. I am thankful for GOD's grace. I'm a sinner and GOD is good and gracious to hear my cries!

Thanks for the support of this site and I apologize for the lapse to RN.

1 Corinthians 10:13​

13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
that you may be able to endure it.

 

[Squidward81]

Unfortunately I am going to report in here with some bad news.. I am not going to type excuses or get down on myself, but I had a lapse. It was edging for awhile on Sunday and I was able to stop. Been home alone on Monday morning which led to edging on some google searches. Like my last "lapse" on 9/13 I didn't watch videos to PMO but unfortunately clicked to where I saw some pics/Gifs and the imagery led to MO. I want to be honest with myself and call it what it was. It is extremely disappointing but my perseverance and strength to not binge P for the rest of the day isn't there. I know my triggers which are above and throughout this thread but I ignored them.

There are 53 days left in 2021 and I will conquer those days! Really need to resist the google searches/edging/P subs over the next 53 days. I also need to focus on "hard mode" and not MO at all during this time. That is the goal.

Since I joined RN on 4/13 I have had 3 PMO lapses. I want to finish this year and not exceed that number. I know I can do it and I know how to do it. I need to eliminate the mental side of this addiction and really focus. My journey to 12/31/2021 starts today! I reread through my journal and need to get more intentional with my daily devotions, Bible study, and prayer. I am thankful for GOD's grace. I'm a sinner and GOD is good and gracious to hear my cries!

Thanks for the support of this site and I apologize for the lapse to RN.

1 Corinthians 10:13​

13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
that you may be able to endure it.

Amen jerrytx.
Recently I was at a pretty bad low and I had to phone a friend. They reminded me that our strength is found in God & God alone. That our fight is not against flesh & blood (including our own).
I pray that you find ways to not only resist but to draw closer to God. I too an trying to do the same
Hold on to hope! We believe your year goal with you

 

[brandon1984]

Unfortunately I am going to report in here with some bad news.. I am not going to type excuses or get down on myself, but I had a lapse. It was edging for awhile on Sunday and I was able to stop. Been home alone on Monday morning which led to edging on some google searches. Like my last "lapse" on 9/13 I didn't watch videos to PMO but unfortunately clicked to where I saw some pics/Gifs and the imagery led to MO. I want to be honest with myself and call it what it was. It is extremely disappointing but my perseverance and strength to not binge P for the rest of the day isn't there. I know my triggers which are above and throughout this thread but I ignored them.

There are 53 days left in 2021 and I will conquer those days! Really need to resist the google searches/edging/P subs over the next 53 days. I also need to focus on "hard mode" and not MO at all during this time. That is the goal.

Since I joined RN on 4/13 I have had 3 PMO lapses. I want to finish this year and not exceed that number. I know I can do it and I know how to do it. I need to eliminate the mental side of this addiction and really focus. My journey to 12/31/2021 starts today! I reread through my journal and need to get more intentional with my daily devotions, Bible study, and prayer. I am thankful for GOD's grace. I'm a sinner and GOD is good and gracious to hear my cries!

Thanks for the support of this site and I apologize for the lapse to RN.

1 Corinthians 10:13​

13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
that you may be able to endure it.

no judgement here! We all been there, MULPTIPLE TIMES! Get back on that horse! Let's go!

 

[JerryTX]

Stole this from Phineas. It's a great way to approach social media that I am going to utilize. Doing great since the lapse and been extremely busy with work. Went back to starting my day being more mindful and with bible study and prayer.


From @Phineas 808
I - Integrity.

This means that when I come onto any social media platform, that I do so as a man of God. That I'm not liking this or that, saving this or that, or commenting, or scrolling as anything other than a Christian. I'm not some lustful connoisseur of women's pics. Though, as an artist, I still appreciate the beauty from that standpoint...

M - Mindfulness.

This means that when I'm on social media, I'm not to do so mindlessly out of habit, but in the moment fully aware. This may mean not going on first thing in the morning, or last thing at night. I will disrupt any patterns that make it some unhealthy habit.

P - Purposeful.

I go on with a specific purpose spelled out in my head before hand. If this is to post, then I'll post; to comment, then to comment; etc... Once I'm done, I'm out.

A - Alert.

How many times across Facebook and Twitter, or sometimes in Messenger, I'll get a 'friend request' or a message from some tailor-made hot sex-bot? This has tripped me up more times than I care to recollect. There's also a carefulness from being hit by a sexy picture unawares.

C - Concise.

That is, across all platforms (even Youtube) I'm to be surgical, or in-and-out. This brevity will keep me from scrolling into mindlessness.

T - Truthful.

 

[Phineas 808]

Doing great since the lapse and been extremely busy with work. Went back to starting my day being more mindful and with bible study and prayer.

Good to hear, brother! And the thing about stealing... you can't steal what's already given! Lol... (steal away!).

 

[JerryTX]

It's been awhile since I posted and I realize that is a bad thing. This morning I had a full blown lapse. Why did I lapse? Multiple reasons/excuses that are just that.. excuses. Man this addiction is tough. I know my triggers and what caused my addiction but today was the first time since I started this journey that I watched, and watched, and watched. Weird thing is I never really even got a solid erection. It's my brain saying what the hell are you doing and I'm not going to respond down here!! I thought I had been doing so well and let the devil steal my joy today. I have been doing to much edging and P Subs and it finally caught up with me.

So here I sit in frustration, anger, and disappointment. I am going to dive into prayer and the word after this is typed. Grace and forgiveness is hard to understand when you have this addiction. I know I am better than I was but I want to be done with PMO. I really need to get back to my daily habits that led to a strong free PMO journey. I apologize for rambling but it does help to type this out.

This last streak was a mere 18 days. Since 4/13 I have PMO 5X. This will not define me and I pray for everyone on this site. I am thankful for RN and will make sure I'm more committed to visiting here as well as post.

1 John 1:9

 

[Phineas 808]

Grace and forgiveness is hard to understand when you have this addiction.

Sorry to hear this, Jerry!

Just receive it, brother. You are forgiven, cleansed by His blood, and are justified by His righteousness and resurrection! Remember (as I remind myself), He justifies [makes righteous] the ungodly, and all we need do is believe it.

(Rom 4:3-8, 22-25)

Stand up, dust yourself off, and go on stronger than you were before!

 

[guiganvoger]

I know what it feels like to try to cling to good habits and try to keep daily motivation for them. It's been helping me lately to spend a minute or two every morning to remind myself why I am doing this and picturing what success for each day looks like in my mind. Good luck, Jerry! Hope you find your inspiration for creating those positive habits again! It's really a big part of success I feel for all of us here struggling.

 

[Squidward81]

Jerrytx, I am so encouraged by your post. I'm sorry that you indulged but it's true, you are better than when you first started. I PMOd today and I have been so down. But I didn't go to God, I've just been feeding myself the lies. Your post just snapped me out of that. We are forgiven. We are being made whole. The spirit that lives within us is greater than the world. Amen brother. God is with us.

 

[Phineas 808]

I PMOd today and I have been so down. But I didn't go to God, I've just been feeding myself the lies. Your post just snapped me out of that. We are forgiven. We are being made whole. The spirit that lives within us is greater than the world. Amen brother. God is with us.

Important as receiving God's forgiveness is, forgive yourself, too, Squidward!

 

[JerryTX]

Day 1. Heading to church this morning and receiving HIS Grace. In an effort to get me in a positive mindset I used @Phineas 808 math to show since April I have had a 96% success rate. This doesn't define me and I am moving forward.

John 3:30

 

[JerryTX]

Jerrytx, I am so encouraged by your post. I'm sorry that you indulged but it's true, you are better than when you first started. I PMOd today and I have been so down. But I didn't go to God, I've just been feeding myself the lies. Your post just snapped me out of that. We are forgiven. We are being made whole. The spirit that lives within us is greater than the world. Amen brother. God is with us.

Thanks Squidward. The journey is tough and we can never let our guard down. I understand how you feel and glad my post brought some light.

 

[JerryTX]

Good day RN! Day 2 and a busy week ahead. Not sure how much time I will have to post but I am going to try to get on here everyday and re-read some of my initial posts and plans. Thankful for today and GOD's Grace and Forgiveness. Reading and Studying the book of Romans as I really like the Essential Gospel. Today diving into Romans 5 v3-5. I needed this passage this morning. I am focusing on my "endurance" and "strength" I have built during this journey to help me press on. "This Hope (of salvation) will not lead to disappointment.
Praying for RN and all on this site! Have a great Monday and week!

 

[guitar1968]

So here I sit in frustration, anger, and disappointment. I am going to dive into prayer and the word after this is typed. Grace and forgiveness is hard to understand when you have this addiction. I know I am better than I was but I want to be done with PMO. I really need to get back to my daily habits that led to a strong free PMO journey. I apologize for rambling but it does help to type this out.

I'm feeling much the same way with my recent struggles. It's not easy at all, but I am back and I don't want it to get out of hand again. Even if I mess up here and there, I think coming back here helps to refocus.

Wishing you continued success. And I mean that seriously. You have had a lot of success. So, let's be proud of how far we've come and see if we can build on it.

 

[3rdJohn]

Be encouraged brothers, the game is not over, you are not defined by your slip ups but by how far you have come. in taking steps to overcome Porn, you have taken the offensive. consider these slip ups the last gasp of a dying addiction, as you continue to strangle the parasitic life out of this goddamned affliction. Death to you porn and life to us!

much love and respect,

john

 

[JerryTX]

Good day RN. Just checking in and reading some good stuff on here. Thankful for this site and praying for RN. Today is a new day and a new battle for us all. One that we can win. Busy work day for me and feeling good after a rough weekend. Diving deep into the book of Romans each morning as well as doing an Advent reading plan. Moving forward not looking backward.

 

[Nick Simons]

Hey Jerry ... it's been a while and just wanted to share that I continue to see parallels in our respective journeys - "new day / new battle - but one we can win", "rough weekend but feeling good", and "moving forward not looking back" ... all resonate. Stay strong bro.

 

[JerryTX]

Checking in this morning and feeling good at what I believe is 5 days since the lapse. December is my favorite month. Christmas and many family birthdays including my own. Breaking it up in mini goals and not as focused on what day but my mindset going into each day. Spending my 1st 15 minutes of each day in the Bible and prayer, and going at that with an intent to listen and obey. Extremely helpful for me. Find your first 15 whatever that may be and give it a go! Have a great day RN