This has to stop. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

Phineas 808

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So as we all begin 2022 I am a person who doesn't necessarily believe in "New Years Resolutions" but I do believe in reflection and renewed focus!

Good job, Jerry! I'm also wanting to make 2022 a time of renewed focus and commitment to my plans and goals to be someone who doesn't use P, PMO, or MO.

Like yourself, I've had an up and down success rate, but overall I'm happy with my progress- and your progress, too!

Let's do this, brother! Pray for each other during weaker moments, and believe for transformation!

Happy New Year!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Happy New Year RN! Praying that we all start this year with whatever goals in mind to beat this P demon out of our lives! Hope you and yours have a Happy New Year!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
I have had a very clear mind and been successful with this reboot. While I'm still using a "tracker" for the days I am not letting it consume me. My focus going into 2022 is to take this one day at a time. This is how it started back in April and I want to go beyond the longest PMO streak. I am thankful for this site and will continually check in as reading and posting does help with the journey. Praying for all on this site fighting to win the battle of the P demon.
 

Phineas 808

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My focus going into 2022 is to take this one day at a time. This is how it started back in April and I want to go beyond the longest PMO streak.

Yes! Knowing what works for you and what doesn't is so important! I believe you will go beyond your longest (to date) PMO streak. I remember when 114 days was mine (years ago), and now it's not some insurmountable hill any more. You can do this!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
This has been a great start to the new year. Feeling refreshed and busy! Although the wife and I have some "physical ailments" which is effecting us both I know that GOD has a plan for us in 2022. I haven't had any P subs or edging in well over 1 week and using the IMPACT plan from Phineas! I will continue to come here a few times a week for my own encouragement and updates. I know the P Demon is always waiting to attack and my strength and perseverance are renewed! Thankful as always for this site and praying for RN!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
You're doing great JerryTX! Keep it up (literally!) This is a long journey, and looking back, you had many successes last year! I know for me, just knowing I've proven to myself I can do it, because I've done it before, makes the journey easier.

One day at a time.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Been struggling again with some edging and Psubs this last week or so. Read this today in my devotional and it hit the spot.

GOD I have a weakness with P and I need to apply more consistency here. I know my own strength will be tested and run out but can you GOD give me your grace and your strength? And please help me with this struggle/temptation? When you tap into the strength of GOD on a daily basis and move forward with consistency, GOD will write a beautiful story about the power and strength HE displayed in your life this year.
Small things done consistently over time, lead to big things.

My main struggle right now is wanting the "release" from PMO or MO. So many physical ailments between the wife and I makes me feel sorry for myself. Truth is even if I look at a Psub it doesn't even arouse me. I believe this is a win but just need to be more aware of it each day.

Praying for RN daily!
 

Phineas 808

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I know the feeling, Jerry!

That's so important as believers to be able to 'stand strong' in the context of our weakness, in the context of His strength. This may be a contradictory sounding paradox, but only in surrender to Him are we able to stand strong anyway. To attempt to be strong in our own strength (and under law) is a sure recipe for failure.

The dopamine hit promised us in p-subs, edging, or P/MO is something that we can attempt to replace with something else. It's normal to want to feel normal, just that how we're going about to get the dopamine is where the problem is. If we can find replacement activities, human connection, or hobbies, or exercise (going for a walk), whatever, to offset the pains in life with healthier dopamine is the way to go.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Checking in w RN today. Traveling this week and started a 21 Day Fast. The fast is from several items that aren't really considered fasting: PMO, MO, alcohol. These just need to cease as I focus in on GOD. The fast for me is truly social media, food (breakfast/lunch). I have started the year like I mentioned above with to many close calls and more MO than in previous months. Some of this from the chaser effect from sex with the wife and my PMO session I had after the holidays. Anyway just writing this in my journal as accountability as I start this journey. Also will leave another piece from my devotional that spoke to me and thought I would share:

What is the thing (PMO) that you're holding onto offered you? NOTHING!!
You/we are the ones paying the price.
Why do you honor and empower that thing??
Why are you allowing something that's hurting you to be your master?

Anything that gets in the way of GOD's love for you needs to be moved out of the way! (reason for my fast)
Stop holding on to what's holding you back! GOD loves you and he's inviting you to a way of life where you set down every encumbrance so you can be fully his. Set down what is hindering you and take hold of Jesus. Let him be the Master that truly makes your life better.


Sorry, not sorry for the sharing my beliefs in my journey. Whoever finds GOD finds Life! Hope everyone finds peace in this process.
 

Phineas 808

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Good for you, Jerry! I'm standing with you, and wishing you the best with this fast!

If I can say a little something, (if you already know this, than please forgive me): Fasting is always for us, on our side. It reminds our bodies who is boss, our spirit or reason, and not our appetites. Your (and my) P, PMO, MO issues are 'not' in the way of God's love- as He loves us in and through our most darkest mess. But fasting removes any distraction we may have to this love. But fast or no fast, failure or success, God's love for you, Jerry, is ever the same and constant!

Be well, and wishing you strength!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Good for you, Jerry! I'm standing with you, and wishing you the best with this fast!

If I can say a little something, (if you already know this, than please forgive me): Fasting is always for us, on our side. It reminds our bodies who is boss, our spirit or reason, and not our appetites. Your (and my) P, PMO, MO issues are 'not' in the way of God's love- as He loves us in and through our most darkest mess. But fasting removes any distraction we may have to this love. But fast or no fast, failure or success, God's love for you, Jerry, is ever the same and constant!

Be well, and wishing you strength!
@Phineas 808 Thanks for your words as usual! I am doing well and plugging away this week. A bit anxious to see what the weekend brings but I know I got this! GOD Bless you brother!
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Well it's been awhile since I have checked in at RN. I have had a really stressful and busy time at work which has kept me from journaling. With that said I did lapse recently on a weeklong work trip and just like in the past (which I know better) alcohol was involved. That's been well over a week and I have moved on from it. It left me feeling pretty defeated for about 48 hours and then my P brain was telling me to just binge away since I was in a hotel all week. I did not!! So I am back here and recently started a new streak. I recently started a new bible plan on Freedom from Porn. Basically states a lot of the resources from this site and talks about the binge-purge cycle that I know I have been living for decades. While I have improved I am an addict and have not fully conquered the PMO demon!

Today was a good day in the study as it made me list the lies or rationalizations I tell myself that keeps me stuck in this PMO addiction.
I believe I have posted these or similar before but mine are:
  • I / my body needs this release
  • I am stressed/lonely and PMO will help relieve this
  • I've done good for so long once isn't an issue (THIS ONE HURTS TO WRITE)
  • I deserve this cause I am not being satisfied sexually in my marriage enough
I have been replacing the above lies/rationalizations with TRUTH.
  • I don't need the Dopamine release and PMO makes me feel worse and doesn't relieve stress or loneliness. It causes me to stray from GOD
  • I need to realize that one time has lead to this long term addiction and behavior. Continuing this binge purge cycle is not the answer
  • I deserve to love my wife and be more engaging and understanding with her and also both of our aging health issues.
These strongholds and lies are against the knowledge of GOD. Just one of these or any lies about PMO is all it takes to get me/us off track. I don't want to stay stuck in this sin. Confession has helped bring this sin to light in my life (even with some tough consequences) but I choose to move forward.

I am thankful for RN and place to journal my thoughts and the support many of you have provided.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Been a busy and productive week. Very little urges or temptations. I am being mindful of any temptation for edging or Psubs. Since I started this journey I have never gone full Hard Mode with no MO. That is the goal and current focus the next 30 days during this bible study. The study and challenge come from the website below if your interested. Praying for all on RN. Have a great weekend!

https://thefreedomfight.org/
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Happy Saturday RN. Just checking in and thought I would share from the above bible study today.
To paraphrase what stuck out the most:

For about 95% of people, it takes 6 months to 2 years to experience freedom from a porn or sex addiction. Someone can stop their unwanted sexual behavior before then, but establishing a lifestyle of freedom takes time. Relapses in the process will occur. It's important to use a relapse as an opportunity to grow and evaluate what happened. A person doesn't quit PMO and build healthy habits by magically gaining willpower. They must grow in a number of areas, and one of those is self awareness: understanding your triggers and what it is that leads them to act out. GOD does not condemn, so don't condemn yourself with negative self-talk (MAN I am guilty here)!
Proverbs 28:13
1 John 1:9
Romans 8:1
Proverbs 24:16
 

Phineas 808

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That's so important, avoiding toxic shame. Shame was a major driver of my addiction. For me 'radical grace', that God forgave us of ALL of our sins at the cross, past-present-and future, is what flipped shame on its head for me.

Good words, references above, Jerry! And thanks for the link, it was a helpful website.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Checking in with RN and sad to see it's been 11 days. I have a lot going on with work and both my wife and I's health conditions. Sheesh it seems we are constantly at the Dr and both of us with MRIs this year so far. That and the stress of work haven't been good. My 2022 YTD stats for my own accountability:
  • PMO 2 X
  • MO 11X (includes the 2 above)
Also I haven't been intimate a lot with my wife due to health issues and this is why the MO number is high (again I type this knowing this isn't an excuse!!!). I write this for visibility to my struggle and journal as I revisit my posts often.....is that weird? Anyway, trying to find some balance and peace. Hoping this weekend's sex with the wife doesn't kill me with the chaser effect. Also need to continue to improve any alcohol consumption (even a glass of wine or 2 with work functions) as I know this is a problem for me. Glad to catch up with several on here and will try to be more consistent in my updates.
 
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