Question for the group....

I have been on my PMO/reboot journey for about 60 days. I haven?t posted in my main journal for a while. To recap, I?m 44, married, had a very active sex life until PMO gave me a serious bout of PIED. It affected almost every aspect of my marriage. I began the journey, I flatlined for a while, came out of the flat line and have been doing well. Gym, meditation, cold showers... all tools that helped. We began having sex regularly (1-2 a week) a few weeks ago and it?s been great! No porn (well, no hard core PORNHUB viewing lol. Its difficult to avoid erotic content anymore) and no real urges to watch. Definitely no masturbation. My main struggle is erotic chatting, which I am still working on. I am self aware enough to catch myself. I have slipped a bit in this aspect but it didn?t lead me into a relapse of PMO/MO. I have experienced some continued minor ED issues but nothing like I was before so I consider myself to be still on the path.

This leads me to tonight... I was in the mood, but my wife is experiencing some female issues so she wasn?t in the mood. I said ok no big deal and continued getting ready for bed. She then suggested that she wouldn?t mind watching me MO (for the record, I?ve discussed our adventurous side before). I was hesitant since I wasn?t sure if it would affect my progress, but since it was more a couples activity and she would be watching/enjoying the show, I agreed. No porn was involved and just senses and touching. I am now wondering/have concerns on what I should consider tonight on my personal tracker...So here is my question, and I may be overthinking it...

Since this event involved my wife, and it was for mutual enjoyment, should I consider this as sex? Or MO? Do you think I had a setback on my journey? Or further progress? Inquiring minds want to know?


Well-Known Member
I say there is nothing wrong with that  no setback as your wife was involved in it  it was her request and  fulfilled it  We are here to give up porn /chat/webcam girls etc. If your wife was pleased with this than  you have  met her needs  and thats what being in a relationship is all about


    Post often it helps you it helps me
Thanks for the insight joe! Kinda set my mind at ease. Sometimes I think giving up smoking was easier than trying to kick the porn/PMO dependence.


Active Member
I think it would be better if your wife would help you with M, and I say this based on my personal experience. I am now in reboot since almost four months, and I think I recovered well but for one aspect: ejaculation. This is because I was used to get it after M, and now my brain is still used to reach it only through M. I went to a sexuologist with my partner and he advised that could be my partner to help me in that way, so my brain would get rewired to a non-autonomous excitation aiming at ejaculation. It seems t start working.