16 months FLATLINE (PAWS) - 24 years old. Addiction from age 13 - 22.

Hello all. I am 24 years old and have done PMO from age 13-22. I was extremely addicted and my sessions went on for hours at a time. I had several tabs open and developed several fetishes. Normal porn was no longer interesting for me. I have never used drugs or alcohol in my life.

After several streaks I am now on a 16 months - flatline / PAWS (Post acute withdrawal symptoms).
I do hard mode. So no sex either.

I have noticed the following positive symptoms so far:

- Physical changes: I am no longer skinny. I woke up after 120 days without exercise and my body was suddenly wider. My jawline has improved and my face has gained some colour. I no longer have dead eyes. The almost constant lower back pain has disappeared. It feels like my bones have been strengthened and I have gained some muscles. My prostate seems to have become smaller. -> Too much PMO can cause the prostate to get bigger.

- Memories: Memories from childhood have come back. I can remember up to the age of 6. I can remember which children I played with and I remember positive and negative events that happened in my life so far. I also remember many details.

- A new view of the world: I no longer see women as sex objects. For me, women are very beautiful creatures. I want to have a normal, intimate relationship with a woman. I want to get married. I want to do everyday things with a woman like going for a walk, to the cinema, cooking, laughing, etc. Because of the negative symptoms I will list later, I don't want to approach women at the moment.

I realise that short-term rewards are not the meaning of life. You have to fight if you want something. Successful people are patient. I want to achieve more in my life. My life during my addiction: PMO, videogames, TV, school, work and isolation from the world.

My whole world view has changed. I no longer blame others for my failures and for my life. I want to work on myself every day to become a better person and to live a happy life.

-> -> ->

Unfortunately, I still suffer from the following negative symptoms:

- Social Anxiety / low confidence: Has improved significantly, but I am still afraid to walk and talk in a group full of people. I still think what the others might think of me. I am afraid of failing in public or doing something embarrassing.

- Brain Fog: This has improved a little, but is still not perfect. I still have poor focus and concentration. It takes me a long time to make decisions. Sometimes I have trouble expressing myself. When I talk to a person, I can't process information very well. I don't understand so quickly. I sometimes feel really stupid when I talk to people. When I watch TV or read something, I sometimes lose concentration or think about something else. I get distracted quickly. I can't access my thoughts so quickly and then speak them out.

- Anhedonia: I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow. I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow.

Low energy: I have almost no energy. I go to work, pursue my hobbies, go for walks, but it feels heavy. I don't feel that energy in my body and mind.

Low motivation: I find it difficult to motivate myself for normal, everyday things like shopping, walking, working, reading. I have no motivation to learn a new language or to leave the house. I work from Monday to Friday and I have no motivation to work. You can see it in my face.

Low libido: My libido is weak. I sometimes have morning wood, but it is not very strong. I do not have spontaneous erections. If a woman touched my arm or flirted with me, I would have an erection. I could have an erection and sex with a woman, but I still don't have such a strong desire for sex. My libido is not yet as healthy as it should be.

Fatigue: No matter how much I sleep, I always feel tired. My whole body and mind feels tired. I can sleep in the evening and then I get tired again through the day and could fall asleep again. I often have the urge to lie in bed or rest.

Sore muscles / body pain: I have sore muscles or body aches every day, even if I don't do any sport. I can't tell the difference between the two. It feels like my muscles or bones are not quite healed / grown out / stable yet.

Digestive problems / prostate: I often have hard stools and sometimes constipation. Rarely do I have normal stools. Frequent urination is also a problem for me. My whole stomach area feels strange. I feel a strange pressure in my stomach area every day, no matter what I eat or drink. My prostate is not completely cured yet, as I reported at the beginning. I also can't lose fat and have a "beer belly" even though I'm not fat.

Wet dreams: Mostly after 7 or 8 days I get a Wet Dream or Nocturnal Emission. In dreams I am very sensitive. If a woman touches me in a dream, I get an ejaculation. After a Wet Dream my negative symptoms are more pronounced. I need 2-3 days until I am more or less normal again. When I have an wet dream, I don't feel joy during the release. It just comes out without orgasm or pleasure.

Time perception: The time feels a bit strange. I think it's because of the brain fog. Some days I do some things like showering, eating, shopping, walking, taking out the rubbish, vacuuming and it feels like I've done an extreme amount. So I am quickly exhausted, yet only 2-3 hours have passed.

-> -> ->

I have made an effort to make this post as accurate as possible and hope that long flatliners will also get in touch to encourage me. I need your motivation and your answers to start the new year positively. Please help me. It feels like it's going to be a long time.

Please write something Gabe.

My Reddit channel:

https://www.reddit.com/user/Experiment1996/posts/

THANKS.
 

zander13

Well-Known Member
Yes I have bladder issues. When there are at their worst, I find myself peeing 2-3 times every hour. I'm drinking water this whole time, but it's still a little crazy how often I have to go.

Also, on some occasions, my dick stings near the base during and after the piss session.

I also have constipation and issues with diahhrea (or however you spell that word).
 

Armani55

Member
For your negative symtoms, you have to reteach your brain and starts everything from zero like you have social anxiety start talking to new peoples and start conversation in groups. Like this start other things also from zero. Don't fully depends on rewiring. Rewiring just reboot your brain and remaining things you have to reteach yourself. I hope you understand what i mean.
God bless you bro.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Hey Exp96!

What an impressive first post! The first thing that comes to my mind is that a lot of your negative symptoms can be treated with exercise.
30 mins 3 times a week has effect on symptoms like depression/anxiety, energy level / fatigue, digestion/urination, libido, executive function.
Start by taking walks and if you want to go all in do cold showers too. Don't go all in and over do it. Mild to moderate intensity is all youll need to get the benefits. Then once your body has gotten used to another activity level, you can increase the intensity or duration.

Good luck, man! Much love!
 
Hello all. After 18 months I got up and my PAWS were significantly reduced. You can read my previous posts on my profile. I was always in a bad place.

I had only bad days for 18 months where I avoided people as much as possible. I zoned out when I talked to people. I just wanted to be alone. Every day was bad and I just wanted to get through the day somehow. I received unemployment benefits for almost 18 months and never actively looked for work. I couldn't work because of PAWS. That's how bad it was.

And then one day I woke up after 18 months and my brain changed. Suddenly I have less brain fog and social anxiety. I have the urge to be with people or talk to people. I start small talks with strangers on the street. I talk to my family again. I greet people. I no longer zone out when I talk to people. I have more motivation and energy to get things done. Multitasking has become better. I can absorb more information. Overthinking is gone. I am more present and live more in the moment. I am a different person. That's what my family has said too. My brain works faster. I think, act faster. I can make better decisions. The brain change came 14 days ago and I already had 3 job interviews and next week I have 2 more job interviews and a trial day at a company. I am more confident and optimistic. I ask people outside if I can play football with them or start talking about the weather. I've been shopping for the first time in a long time and I'm styling my hair.

I no longer count the days and I no longer read posts on Reddit. I spend almost no time on Reddit. I'm not really interested in what's on NoFap and other forums. I don't really relate to it anymore.

I'm still not 100 % cured. I know that. I still don't feel the way I felt when I had the superpowers/pink cloud. I still don't feel the way I felt before my addiction. I still don't feel like a child.

But all these improvements I got after 18 months remind me of the superpowers/pink cloud. I've only had good days for the last 14 days. There are no more bad days. It reminds me a lot of the time I lived before my addiction. One example: I played a shooter game on the computer from the age of 11-13. From 13-22 I did PMO. I am 24 years old. Suddenly I have motivation and energy to play this shooter game again, which I last played over 10 years ago.

I am doing things I used to do before my addiction. So I'm doing things I did when I was a kid and didn't know PMO. All of a sudden I'm thinking about buying Rollerblade or a scooter again and riding around. I did a lot of that when I was a kid.

My brain changed 14 days ago (18 months PAWS). It feels like a big part of my addiction has been erased in my brain. A part is still there. I am not 100 % cured yet. It feels like I am going back to the way I was before the addiction.

I also have more patience with people and don't feel anger all the time.

I know all PAWS-stories and I really hope that in December 2021 I will finally be 100 % cured.

This brain change came all of a sudden and I didn't expect it. Take care of yourselves. I'll do another post when my brain changes and hopefully I'll be completely free of PAWS then.

Check my reddit profile -> https://www.reddit.com/user/Experiment1996/posts/
 
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