That's right. All the past relapses are an opportunity to learn. They suck, of course, we wish we never relapse again but still, if we relapse, we have the opportunity to see what mistakes we make, what tools we could use next time to deal with urges etc. However, this could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I think we should draw a line and put a limit one day. "How many times am I going to relapse? What can I do to make it work?" Those are the kind of questions I asked myself 40 days ago after a binge. I was borderline crazy that day, bro. And I used the desperation to fuel myself. I seriously believe there comes a day where we need to "up our game" and make an effort not to relapse over and over in the same way (been there and done that). Not to do the same thing over and over again expecting different result which is the definition of what? Of wasting our lives, that's what.Thank you for your support. I always find you have a great perspective on things and you post make me realize that yes it is going to suck really fucking bad and yes there is hope that you can keep fighting.
Every time I relapsed (this is relapse number 3) I have learned something and it helps me ready for another round with this thing. Whether it's trigger I can avoid next time or another reason to beat this thing once and for all I feel like I am getting stronger and learning how I can get through this so its time to embrace the suck and get it done for good. Keep fighting brother you are doing great!