One day at a time

Thank you for your support. I always find you have a great perspective on things and you post make me realize that yes it is going to suck really fucking bad and yes there is hope that you can keep fighting.
Every time I relapsed (this is relapse number 3) I have learned something and it helps me ready for another round with this thing. Whether it's trigger I can avoid next time or another reason to beat this thing once and for all I feel like I am getting stronger and learning how I can get through this so its time to embrace the suck and get it done for good. Keep fighting brother you are doing great!
That's right. All the past relapses are an opportunity to learn. They suck, of course, we wish we never relapse again but still, if we relapse, we have the opportunity to see what mistakes we make, what tools we could use next time to deal with urges etc. However, this could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I think we should draw a line and put a limit one day. "How many times am I going to relapse? What can I do to make it work?" Those are the kind of questions I asked myself 40 days ago after a binge. I was borderline crazy that day, bro. And I used the desperation to fuel myself. I seriously believe there comes a day where we need to "up our game" and make an effort not to relapse over and over in the same way (been there and done that). Not to do the same thing over and over again expecting different result which is the definition of what? Of wasting our lives, that's what.
 
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That's right. All the past relapses are an opportunity to learn. They suck, of course, we wish we never relapse again but still, if we relapse, we have the opportunity to see what mistakes we make, what tools we could use next time to deal with urges etc. However, this could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I think we should draw a line and put a limit one day. "How many times am I going to relapse? What can I do to make it work?" Those are the kind of questions I asked myself 40 days ago after a binge. I was borderline crazy that day, bro. And I used the desperation to fuel myself. I seriously believe there comes a day where we need to "up our game" and make an effort not to relapse over and over in the same way (been there and done that). Not to do the same thing over and over again expecting different result which is the definition of what? Of wasting our lives, that's what.
You are totally right if we just keep repeating the same actions expecting a different result we will go in the same circle forever. I have done a lot or soul searching and it is time for me to end this cycle of relapsing. So here I am day 2 and this time I am going to fight harder then I ever have before and get stop going back to the comfort zone that is actual the depths of my hell. Bring on the suck I am ready for the battle to be the man I want to be. You keep fighting as well brother there are better days ahead for all of us.
 
Day 2 no pmo and I am feeling good the urges are there but I know now they will pass. I have a new habit I am trying to end the images that pop into my head from time to time. I immediately think of a song any song and start singing in my head. I find it helps immediately changing my thoughts. I am sure every one has their little ways of changing their thoughts this is one of mine and so far I find it helps. I know i need to do this and this is time I have been in a vicious cycle of relapses and I need to pull my head out of my ass and get back on track once and for all.
 
Day 2 no pmo and I am feeling good the urges are there but I know now they will pass. I have a new habit I am trying to end the images that pop into my head from time to time. I immediately think of a song any song and start singing in my head. I find it helps immediately changing my thoughts. I am sure every one has their little ways of changing their thoughts this is one of mine and so far I find it helps. I know i need to do this and this is time I have been in a vicious cycle of relapses and I need to pull my head out of my ass and get back on track once and for all.
That's right, man. The management of porn thoughts/flashbacks/fantasies is a must. They often start everything. You could be doing a good job staying away from watching anything but then you fantasize about porn too much, it gets the dopamine going and once the dopamine gets wild, "Game Over" is one step away. We need to keep the dopamine to a minimum. The dopamine of porn, of course.
 
That's right, man. The management of porn thoughts/flashbacks/fantasies is a must. They often start everything. You could be doing a good job staying away from watching anything but then you fantasize about porn too much, it gets the dopamine going and once the dopamine gets wild, "Game Over" is one step away. We need to keep the dopamine to a minimum. The dopamine of porn, of course.
That's so very true and we must stay vigilant at all times. It's amazing how quickly things can escalate one second you think you are doing good and the next the urge strikes hard. This last relapse has me realizing I was entertaining some of these thoughts thinking they were harmless but in fact were leading me back down the rabbit hole but this time I am quickly shifting my focus to something, anything else. Even if it is singing happy Birthday in my head because that's the only song I can think of
 

guitar1968

Active Member
That's so very true and we must stay vigilant at all times. It's amazing how quickly things can escalate one second you think you are doing good and the next the urge strikes hard. This last relapse has me realizing I was entertaining some of these thoughts thinking they were harmless but in fact were leading me back down the rabbit hole but this time I am quickly shifting my focus to something, anything else. Even if it is singing happy Birthday in my head because that's the only song I can think of
I like the idea of singing Happy Birthday in your head! Sometimes the porn visions come on so strong and out of nowhere. I think that will happen for some time to come. Hopefully they will start to fade. Hang in there. You can conquer this thing!
 
I like the idea of singing Happy Birthday in your head! Sometimes the porn visions come on so strong and out of nowhere. I think that will happen for some time to come. Hopefully they will start to fade. Hang in there. You can conquer this thing!
Thank you for your support. It's all about finding ways to cope and not giving in with the urges. I focus on the benefits of a life without porn. I know it would give me short term comfort but not the life I want for myself. We got this!
 
Well day 3 and today the urges were strong but I managed to pull myself away from them. I am staying focused and know this is only going to get worse before it gets better. I have been thinking a lot of all the time and money I have wasted feeding my brain it massive hits of dopamine. It's crazy when you think of it. We think it makes us happy only to make us miserable. I don't want to waste another second on that garbage. I want to be clean from this junk
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Good job on dismissing urges, Time! This right here is the key to turning this thing around. Obsessing about it, trying to fight it, trying to feed it only serve to strengthen the habit. But dismissing urges nonjudgmentally, that's how we change this.
 
Day 4 is coming to a close and I am still doing well. Today was an easy day for me I spend the day with my girl and he 2 daughters. It was a great day and a nice break from the urges. I never had any issues on days I spend with them it's when u am home alone that I would binge on porn and masterbation.
 
how do you feel when you are around them? you need to try and take that feeling back home with you and use it when you get an urge to PMO
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thank you fappy
I agree totally and this is something I have thought about as well. I think a lot about my girl and how thus could affect our relationship of I keep turning to porn. I want a life with her free of this addiction.
 
Day 5 and 6 have been good to me. I haven't pmo and been working so really its been a pretty easy couple of days with lots of things to keep me busy. It's typical for me to engage in porn more on my days off so those are the day I have to stay extra vigilant.
I have recently started box breathing to help me calm my mind and find it really helpful. Thanks to all of you that have mentioned it in your posts. I had never heard of it before coming here and hearing how it helped so many of you I looked into it and I find it very beneficial.
I really want to stay on this path and feel I have all the tools I need in place to finally break free from this evil addiction. I just have to be focused and not feed the urges.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
I really want to stay on this path and feel I have all the tools I need in place to finally break free from this evil addiction. I just have to be focused and not feed the urges.
yep, youve got the tools and the motivation, so DO IT! and you know what happens when you fuck up...
 
We I am back to square one again. I messed up and went back to an old Chatroom I frequented and got caught up in the same cycle of feeding the beast but I have come back here once again and I really need to end this and get my life figured out. I have been doing this for far to long wasting my life on pixels and words on a screen. It's not something I enjoy although my brain thinks it needs this to survive. I am an addict to these pixels but it needs to end.
I have read a lot on meditation and box breathing and I think it would be beneficial to me as well as start exercising some. I need to do something other then being stuck in this vicious cycle of binging and then the self loathing and regret that comes after. This isn't living this is just merely existing. I want to be able to enjoy life again and not think about getting my next fix and feeding the monster inside my head.
It's time I starve the beast and take control. I have said this before on here and even believed it would Happen but I do keep coming back and rereading peoples stories and realize 2 things one just how hard this journey will be and two that it will be nice to finally enjoy life again and to be able to make love to my girlfriend without thoughts of porn to arouse me. So here I am once again at the path to freedom of this addiction. Bring it on!
 
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